Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill...

Yesterday was a bright sunny, albeit chilly, day.  We decided to bundle up and go on a few geocaching hunts.  The hunts in the mountains of North Cackalacki are way more challenging than those we did in FL.  In FL, most of the hiding spots were in public areas.   (Not all.  Some were in pubic areas.  Well just one.)   A tree in the Home Depot parking lot.  Attached to a stop sign.  A bench in a park.  Never did we risk our lives looking for a treasure.

Not here.  We wound up in the higher elevations.  The road wasn't paved.  I believe we may have  been close to inbred land.  I could have sworn I saw Sally Struthers talking to a family on their front porch.  But did this stop us?  Hell no.  We kept asking each other if we should turn around and each time decided that we'd come too far to stop now.  We kept driving up and around Chimney Rock.  At one point, four beautiful white dogs were sunning themselves in the middle of the road and acted very inconvenienced when I gently hit the horn rather than run them over.  Then they chased us for about a half a mile.  Same thing on the way down the mountain.  I wanted to bring them all home with me. 

Once we reached what appeared to be our destination, we parked as close to the side of the cliff without going over it.  On the other side of the road was a mountain side.  We were in the middle of nowhere, but it was beautiful.  The leaves have fallen off the trees and the view was awesome.  Robin held the GPS and like a mental patient, started walking around in circles trying to hit the coordinates.  She'd get one and then scratch her head.  She looked at the mountain side and we both agreed that she wouldn't be expected to climb that.  I told her to go a few feet and see if the numbers change.  Well she did and the numbers did change.  In her defense, she did go up the mountain and it was steep.  But today, she is acting like she climbed Mt. Everest.  She is sore and just lying around, saying, "I should never have climbed that mountain." 

Climbed that mountain.  She went up six feet. 

I will admit, I did not go up the six feet to find the treasure.  I had something else to do.  I had to, well, pee.  There was nobody anywhere for miles around and I could have very safely just gone near the car, but it would be just my luck to have someone drive by as I did the deed.  So while she ascended six feet up, I went in the opposite direction and descended down the cliff.  I must have gone down the cliff two or three miles, each step being on  bear alert.  There are a lot of bear sightings up here.  I quickly got it over with and began my climb back up the steepness that was the cliff.  I barely made it out alive.  There was a pack of wild boar to my right and a mountain lion to my left.  I got to the top and just in the nick of time hoisted myself over the cliff.  It was a VERY close call.

And she thinks she "climbed a mountain."  I love the way she embellishes everything.

You dared me, America! Well ~ my friend, Marian, dared me.

As my Facebook peeps know, we had an electrician here yesterday.  Half of our power wasn't working.  He came, was very nice, but we couldn't help but notice his "assets".  I went for the camera and Robin gave me the evil eye.  Afterall, he was nice. 

Turns out he's kinda a handy man.  Had him look at our above the stove microwave.   It was dead.  He assured me that I could go to Lowe's or Home Depot and get a new one for $79.00.  He was going to be in the area today and would be happy to swing by and install it.  I asked him if he trimmed dogs' nails.  Unfortunately, he's not all that.

Called my mom.  For Christmas, I had asked for a gift card to Lowe's or Home Depot for you don't want to know what.  OK - I wanted a bidet.  Had them in our two houses in Miami.  Once you go bidet, you don't go back. 

I had mentioned it to Robin about two weeks ago.  "Hey, since neither of us really need anything or anything for the house, let's ask my mom for a Lowe's gift card for a duvet."

"Why would you get  a duvet at Lowe's?  They don't sell them there."

"Yes they do.  Remember I checked them out before?  Lied and said it was for my aging mother who ain't what she used to be?  Remember?"

"You mean a bidet."

"Whatever.  You know what I meant."

So anywho, Santa Mom put money in our account today.  She basically accused me of wanting microwaved food over clean "parts".  No, I want the eyesore that is Iris and Joe's 30 year old microwave that we've been borrowing since they left outta my kitchen.  (Joe's selling point on insisting we take it, "Look.  You put food on the plate and it turns.  How do you say...it votates.")  More counter space trumps clean private parts.  (And FYI, they're clean.  Clean enough.  They'll do.)

Woke up this morning and the power was off again.  Called him to advise him of same and to try to get an ETA.  Said he'd be here after noon.

Ran my errands, one of which was going to Lowe's.  Went straight to the appliance department and asked where the $79.00 microwaves were.  The man looked at me as if I had two heads.  "Uh, our cheap ones are about $179.00."

Crap.  (Speaking of duvets.)

Went to the back wall and found my exact microwave.  $199.00 marked down to $75.00!  The hardward for hanging it was missing.  No worries - we have that.

My goal was to make it home by 12:00.  Pulled in at 12:00 on the dot and the electrician was right behind me.  Fixed the lights (again) and hung the microwave.  He was here for maybe ten minutes.

Yesterday, on a Sunday, he was here for over an hour.  Charged $75.00 and Robin tipped him $25.00.  Too much in my opinion, but I figured he'd give us a break today.   So it was much to my chagrin, while he was finishing up, I asked him how much the write the check for. 

"$100.00!!!!" 

ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!!!  He was bragging yesterday about how quickly he'd be able to switch out the microwave.  And he should have been back here anyway because he hadn't fixed the original power problem.

Wrote the check and snapped the picture.

Called Robin, proudly told her about the picture and she accused me of being a 12 year old.  Then I told her what today's visit came to.

"Post the damn picture."

WARNING: Less than interesting post ahead. (What's new, I know.)

I've had a few people recently ask me why I've been ignoring my blog.  So before an entire month goes by, I figured I'd write something.  The truth is, there hasn't been much to write about.  November was a pretty crappy month.  I lost two friends within two weeks, and although we weren't super close or anything, they were both really great guys and I will miss them.  There's been other stuff going on, too, and I think I will be happy when the holidays are over.  Gonna be a very difficult time for the families who lost their loved ones.

Adding insult to injury, there have been virtually no job leads.  Very recently, though, something has sparked my interest and God knows I need to go back to work, so I hope she sees it fit for the position to work out for me. 

The highlight of November was getting my Christmas tree.  It really is one of my favorite days of the year.  I've collected ornaments all my life and it's, well, like Christmas to unwrap them each year.  Brady's tail has killed a few, but it's OK.  The less meaningful ornaments, "fillers" if you will, go on the tree at tail level. 

I did have a rather exciting brush with death last night.  It had been pouring for a few days and a couple dogs decided it would be OK to do their business in the basement rather than to get their paws wet.  In an overly zealous attempt to clean up after them, I inhaled way too much Chlorox.  Had to open all the windows on the coldest night of the year.  Robin was so happy.  In my own defense, though, it was about 85 degrees in here.  She is getting even with me for having the AC so low for all the time we lived in Miami.  So now, if it's below 70 outside, she thinks we need the heat on. 

http://www.shuttheductup.com/ has kept me somewhat busy.  Not car shopping busy ~ more like extra money for Christmas busy. 

I need to go back to work because I have no routine in my life.  The only thing that is routine for me right now is calling my mother every morning.  Inevitably, she is either blowing her nose and I have to hold or she's putting on her bra and I have to hold.  Yesterday we had a conversation about the cost of bras.  She asked when the cost of bras went up so much.  Told her around the same time that our boobs started going down.  She said, "Good one" and I said, "Thanks."   After the always stimulating and fascinating conversations we have, I should write, do the treadmill, clean, organize, bathe a dog or five, etc.  I do keep the house clean, but it could be super - eat off the floor - clean.  Actually, that's not true.  It's impossible to keep this house clean for any length of time due to having seven animals.   

We recently spent a large portion of the day driving all over Western North Carolina in search of a particular pink camera that I decided I needed.  Nobody had it in pink so I came home and ordered it online.  Came about two weeks ago.  Haven't opened it yet. 

See what I  mean about having nothing to write about?

It was a "you had to be there" moment...

But I had a much needed laugh on Sunday. First laugh in almost a week.

Robin and I do these geo-caching hunts. Kinda like a savenger hunt with a GPS. We've done them for years and the enthusiasm comes and goes in spurts. This past Sunday, a beautiful day, we decided to go on one. It was in an unfamiliar part of town, which is always interesting. We were literally in the woods and it just didn't seem like a place where someone would hide a treasure. Soon we stumbled upon a paved walking trail. That was more like it. We started walking toward the coordinates; Robin was navigating. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a bicycle coming up really fast behind her. She didn't see him and when he zoomed by her at about 75 miles an hour, she almost had a heart attack. Heart attacks aren't funny, but I could not stop laughing. She practically jumped in my arms, then was unable to move. She thought a big wild animal was about to attack.  Took her about five minutes to catch her breath. 

"It's NOT FUNNY!!!!  OH MY GOD!!!!!  I thought that was a wild boar charging out of the brush."

Idiot.

Then we found ourselves back in the woods.  I got tangled up in some type of thorny vine and my ponytail got stuck.  My hands got all cut up trying to escape and I called for Robin.  She came to my assistance but hesitated and just looked at me.   "Payback's a bitch, eh?"

(PS:  Isn't a "wild boar" kinda an oxymoron?)

Definition of "good guy"? Butch Edwards

There's something about a small town.

Sure, everyone knows everyone else's business. And when things happen, good or bad, the rumors run rampant. But if you can get beyond that, living in a small town is really pretty cool.

I'm from a small town in Upstate New York. Northville. Born and raised there. Went to the same school, Northville Central School, from kindergarten through 12th grade. With the same kids all those years. Half of my Facebook friends are people from Northville, some of whom I know and some of whom I know through friends.

A dear friend recently passed away unexpectedly. The tragedy has touched many many people. He was very loved and respected. His widow (God, that's hard to write) happens to be my best friend since kindergarten, Ingrid. The support she has received from the people in and around Northville is astonishing. It slayed me (and Robin too) to not be there, but my friend insisted that we will be better support in the future days and weeks, especially when she comes here to visit.

While I am so thankful for the support she and the family is receiving, I am not surprised. What does surprise me is that amount of outreaching I personally have received. So many of those friends of friends contacted me the morning after it happened, making sure I knew and that I wouldn't read about it on Facebook. That touched me so much. (I know Ingrid is saying, "There she goes - making this about herself.") Honestly, that's not what I'm doing. I'm just trying to acknowledge that when something like this happens in a small town, people really do put their differences aside and rally together.

The day after it happened, I spent the entire day waiting for Facebook chatter. Nothing. I couldn't take it any more and the following day, I started talking about it. Now it seems like people can't stop talking about Butch and it's great! People, myself included, have changed their Facebook profile pictures to pictures they have of Butch. And they are sharing stories about Butch that I love reading.

Truth is, I am very grateful for the amount of time I shared with Butch, but it was very limited. Though friends throughout the years, Ingrid and I didn't get to see too much of each other once I went to college in Florida. I have made it back to Northville a handful of times and each time I did, we reconnected (Debbie too) as if no time had gone by. True friends. When her kids were little and I'd visit, Butch always babysat so we could go do our thing. So for years, I didn't really know him. Then at our 20th high school reunion in 2003, when their kids were older and didn't need supervision, we got to know each other. Ingrid and I can be quite the asses (her moreso than me), but he was a great sport and just played along. Those are my first real memories of him and they're very fond ones.

Then, last year Ingrid and Debbie visited Robin and me in Florida. They were only supposed to stay for three or four days. Debbie had to go back to work, but Ingrid had taken the whole week off. We begged her to stay for the rest of the week and, of course, she had to run it by Butch. They were supposed to drive somewhere out of state when she returned to pick up a new car for Ingrid. If he didn't want her to stay, we'd all understand. Not only did he tell her to stay, but he encouraged her to do so and have a great time. We jumped around like little girls.

This past February, as you know, Robin turned 50. I threw together a party as best I could and invited Ingrid and Butch. Ingrid hemmed and hawwed and finally said they couldn't make it. I am very sleuthy and called her at work that Friday. She wasn't in. So I had great suspicion that they were on their way down and I was right! More great memories.

But the one thing about Butch that stands out the most is when I had a job interview a few months ago. He woke up on the day of the interview and said to Ingrid, "Kim has her interview today. You should call her and wish her luck."

If I hold that one special memory so dearly and I really didn't get to spend much time with him, I can only imagine how many people have so many more special memories. The number of people who attended his viewing says it all. According to the "rumors", somewhere between 500 and 800. In a town with about 2000 people.

Always thinking.....

Robin and I were at lunch the other day.  I knew something was up when she asked if I was losing weight, THEN mentioned my tan.  So I asked her what she wanted.  "I volunteered us for something in a couple weeks."  "What?", I asked as I took another messy bite of perhaps the best Philly Cheesesteak I'd ever had.  Hmm.  Wonder if I have lost a pound or two?  I'll have to weigh tomorrow.

"In a couple weeks in Asheville, there's an AIDS walk.  I signed us up.  It's three hours and I didn't think you'd mind."

"That's fine - I like stuff like that.  Wait.  Three hours?   We're walking for three hours?"

"No, it's like a 5K."

(Like she has any idea how far a 5K is.  It's around three miles, right?)  "Then why do you say it's three hours?   It'll be about an hour."

"We're handing out condoms after."

The old Kim would have first thought,  "I am NOT hanging out in Asheville handing out condoms."

The new Kim's first thought, "DUCT TAPE CONDOMS!!!!!!!  Is it possible?!".

Wine bag!

 

Perfect gift bag for the holidays or anytime you go to a friend's house for dinner or a party.

Gator Totes!

No, this is not a duct tape purse.

Although.....?  If Lady Gaga can wear a meat dress, why couldn't I make a meatloaf purse?  Christmas is coming, people.  Contact me soon for your order.

No.  Today it's time to step away from the tape.  Was thinking about it, but when I unloaded my dishwasher this morning to find remnants of hot pink duct tape attached to my "I LOVE NY" coffee cup, I decided to definitely take a day off.

We were in such a purse making frenzy all week, we didn't get to the grocery store once.  Ran out of everything, so that was first on the agenda.  Robin decided it was time for a meatloaf dinner.  It's time for me to get BOTFRATTIRMI (back on track for real and this time I really mean it) with eating better, so I splurged on the 93 percent lean meat.  $4.49 a pound.  Bought two one pound packages.  We're going on a hike/picnic tomorrow and will have meatloaf sandwiches, a favorite in the Hellman Frasier household.  Got some other stuff and left the store.  Stopped at a convenience store and when Robin ran in, I checked my receipt out of boredom.   Two things of hamburger - $16!!!    Robin returned and I told her what happened.  "Oh Lord" was her response.  She is the type to let it go, and sometimes I'm OK with that mentality, but I just could not wrap my brain around a $16 meatloaf.

Returned to the store with meat and receipt in hand.  Went straight to the meat department to see who was responsible for the mistake.  Had to ask the butcher to come show me which meat was $4.49 per pound.  It was not the one I had picked up, but in my defense, the sign was very misleading.  Went to customer service and asked her to exchange one for the other.  Very nastily, she said, "OK, but, I'm gonna have to throw these two out because they left the store."   Sometimes I am easily guilted, but not this time. She angrily threw them in the trash and glared at me.  She then completed the transaction without saying a word and huffily gave me my change.

Once home, as I started putting the groceries away, or should I say, as I watched Robin putting the groceries away (she loves to do it), I started thinking.  She threw away $16 of meat and sold me $9 worth.  She should have apologized for the confusion and just charged me $9 for the $16 meat.  Then she (ie:  the store) would only be out $7, not $16.  Maybe I'll go back and explain my thought process to her.  She'd appreciate that.

Goodbye Kitty.

I made this today with a little girl in mind.  Hope to sell it Friday night at the "Girls Night Out" shindig.  I love the colors and think a larger version would make an oh so cute beach bag. 

Dog purse.

This is the one that sold right off my shoulder.  The one that Robin literally turned her nose up at.

(I really would like to write about non-purse related subjects, but's kinda taking over my life right now.  I am not complaining.)

Change purse for a friend's daughter with her school colors.

This house is not a home. It's a friggen sweat shop.

Duct tape has taken over our lives.  We literally have dozens of rolls of the stuff all over the dining room.  We have an Exacto paper cutter which needs a new blade and we're on our fourth pair of scissors in a little over a week.  Yesterday we took a break and paraded our stuff up and down Main Street like hookers.  WE NEED TO RECEIVE OUR BUSINESS CARDS.  We get  stopped by so many people, but without business cards and a website, it's hard to really take orders.  We carry purses within purses and whip them out as needed.  We were in line somewhere yesterday and a teenager had a "Hello Kitty" sweatshirt on.  Robin had our "Hello Kitty" purse inside the purse she was carrying.  She took it out and showed the girl.  We started chatting with her mother, who works in a nursing home.  Said the ladies in the home love to buy purses and we should go there.  Not sure about that, but we'll see. 

Iris is on board too.  We've made two for her so far and she carries them to temple and parties.  Again, no card, no order, but she gets compliments.  We were at a coffee shop the other day and the barista fell in love with the dog purse I made (which Robin hated - said it was too ungepatched, which is Yiddish for "all messed up" or "busy").  I wondered if selling a bag I made would be hard to do, like giving up a baby or something.  I know my answer.  I turned my purse upside down on the counter, asked for a plastic bag for my contents and offered it to the girl as if  it was a baby with a dirty diaper.  "Here.  It's all yours."

OH MY GOD - if she tells me to get off my blog and order Gator tape one more time I'm gonna use this tape for something other than bags. 

Anywho, the above is probably my favorite bag so far.  Love the pink with the black and white. 

Just for you, Sonja V. ~~~ "Hello Kitty"

Let me know if you want more lil pink bows.

"Shut the Duct Up" is off to a good start!

Our first paying customer (and friend) ordered three totes in the color of her grandson's football team.  (Thank you sooooo much!)   Pray to God she likes them!

BTW ~ We are in the middle of setting up a website, http://www.shuttheductup.com/.  In the meantime, if anyone wants to order something, let me know here.   Don't forget, there is duct tape available in tons of sports teams.  Plus I can likely find any combination of school colors too.

In Iris and Joe news (speaking of which, Happy Rosh Hashanah), Robin just hung up with Iris.  She got mad at Joe earlier and destroyed a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle he had almost completed.  Took her arm and in one fell swoop knocked it to the floor. 

Happy Holidays!!!!

Breast Cancer Awareness Tote (not to be confused with bag)

The lighting in my kitchen does not do these bags/totes justice, trust me.

Well, I have done it again.  All my eggs are in one duct taped basket with this duct tape thing.  The good news is, I do have a meeting scheduled tomorrow with a rizty boutique owner on Main Street.  I know who this lady is because I've been in her store and I also recognize her from my nail salon.  The bad news is, I took my nails off in order to make these bags and consequently, my fingers are back to Jimmy Deans with remnants of pink polish.  Robin says she won't notice.  Being a nail person myself, I know she will.  Maybe I can whip up some duct tape gloves between now and then.

And even more positive news (the best news) is that people are starting to ask for certain things.  A blog follower wanted to know if I can do more subdued colors.  If it comes in duct tape, I can do it.  (Still working on finding it in gold, Robbie.)   Depending on tomorrow's meeting, I will make more Breast Cancer bags or move on to   ...   wait for it   ...   DOG BAGS!!!!!!  I have so many ideas.

Believe it or not, making these bags is a little physical.  My back and shoulders are killing me right now.

Breast Cancer Awareness Bag

There's actually a pink ribbon in the middle of the bag, but it barely shows up in the picture.  If you click on the picture, you get a much closer look.   Thinking a black and white bag like this would look good. 

TRICK OR TREAT!

Trick or treat!
This bag is complete.
Who wants to buy it
So my dogs can eat?????

Our first custom made order!!!!

So what if it's to a non-paying client named Iris.  She offered to pay but obviously we wouldn't let her. 

Told you we're a little OCD .....

Robin made the yellow and orange purse yesterday and the Cookie Monster wallet this morning.  I started my first one, the black & white and pink today, but she had to help me.  If we mean business, somebody's  gonna need to not have long nails. 

The bad part of this production is that Buddy is mad that we have taken over his couch.  Poor Buddy. 

Make room, Betsey Johnson ~ There's a new team in town!

I LOVE PURSES!

I always have. It probably started around the time I was in 9th grade. I remember saving my money and buying my first "Etienne Aigner" purse. I can see that thing like it was yesterday. I loved the way it looked, felt and smelled. I may have even tasted it too.

In a former life (ie: Miami, the past eight years), I spent more money on purses than I would EVER admit to anyone. And I'm not just talking about the expensive ones either. I bought a purse at Walgreen's once. If I liked it, I'd get it.

(FYI: Most of those expensive purses are long gone. Sold them on Ebay to make money when we first came up here.)

Then I discovered Betsey Johnson. In addition to fun clothes and jewelry, she designs very funky purses. I have several. One is based on a NYC yellow cab, one is covered in cherries, one is based on Marilyn Monroe. A mall in Miami had a Betsey Johnson boutique, but another great place to find her bags is TJ Maxx.

Robin and I used to go to TJ Maxx and think nothing about splitting up, each with our own carts, and meeting at the checkout counter. We'd buy pretty much what we felt like and didn't bat an eye. It was TJ Maxx, afterall, not Neiman Marcus.

Until last Friday, we hadn't been to TJ Maxx since we moved to NC. Until I get a job (which, BTW, I did not get the last job I wanted - that's why I've been quiet, Cybermatic. Cybermatic wants to know WTH I do all day and why haven't I been here), shopping sprees are off limits to us. We did, however, go to TJ Maxx last week. I needed a winter coat. Hadn't gone there planning on finding a coat - we just wanted to look. Well I did find a coat. It was exactly what I had in mind and I got it. No buyers' remorse. It's a coat. It gets cold up here. I needed it. (Then, when I was about to pay back my mother some money I owed her, she insisted I keep it and consider the coat a gift. Thank you again, HMQoB!!! {HOT MAMA ~ QUEEN of BEAUTY - she's insisted I call her that ever since I can recall.}).

While at TJ Maxx, I couldn't help look at the purses, just like Robin couldn't help look at the watches. That's her thing. Both of us recognized the difference in us and how although it would have been great to get a new purse for me and a new watch for her, we'd live without them.

When we went to the Coon Dog Festival a few months ago, she bought a wallet made out of lime green duct tape. It's held up perfectly. The other night she was focused on the computer and come to find out, she was googling how to make things out of duct tape. She came home yesterday with a Walmart bag full of different colored duct tape - pink, green, orange, yellow, black and white check, and camouflage. By the time I made dinner, she made the above pictured purse for me. I designed it as far as the shape and colors, but she made it. I absolutely love it!

So, being the obsessive complusive couple we are, guess what we'll be doing this weekend?   We are giving serious consideration to trying to sell these and I thought of a website name:  "SHUT THE DUCT UP!" Need to research that. Tape comes in all kinds of sports teams too. Going to Michael's today to get some, if we decide there's a market for it. I know many Gator fans and I'm sure there's Gator tape out there. Maybe not in NC, but surely we could order it online. (I know, I know. I have many Seminole friends too. Wouldn't leave you out, Melissa and Robbie!)

Now, if only I could learn how to make a watch for her.

Ahhhhhh ~ Autumn!!!!

I did not take this picture, but I could have. It's a pretty common scene around here. In fact, I know of a barn not too far away that I think I will go take a picture of later, just to prove my point.

I love the fall! I always have, and really missed it during all the years I lived in Florida, especially Miami. We were here in NC last year, but didn't thoroughly enjoy the fall becase I think we were getting used to this new lifestyle. It really was like a culture shock. This year I plan on enjoying every single second of the season. It's my reward for not living near the ocean. I miss the ocean and beach with all my heart, but am very thankful that when the pangs get really bad, my folks are just a road trip away.

Although the new season is technically about a week away, our forecast is calling for highs of 59 tomorrow and a blustery weekend. Love the word "blustery". As much as I love being outside in the sun, I also love being nice and cozy in my house. Especially when I'm in a cooking mood. Nothing better than the smell of something good cooking and the dogs (and Robin) lounging around the house.

I've been pretty much glued to my phone and computer ever since I had a telephone interview two days ago. I am hopeful (what's beyond hopeful, because that's really what I am) that I will be asked for an in person interview soon. While I was interviewing the other day, I had a lightbulb moment and realized what a perfect fit I would be for this job. I was asked to send a cover letter to the manager and in it I explained to her that between my life experience, work experience and personality, I really would be an excellent match.

So until I get that email or phonecall, I am going to savor the cooler temperatures and watch the leaves change. Robin's ankle did not really heal properly, but she assures me she's up for hiking. Better take her up on that soon because it won't be long until it'll be too chilly for her.

Speaking of which! For those of you who are not on Facebook, I found the best thrift store treasure ever! Rode to Asheville with Robin the other day because she had a meeting. While I waited I shopped at Goodwill. I need a few things that I didn't have last winter, and one of those things is a pair of boots. The color pink always catches my eye and from afar, I saw them. A pink pair of winter boots!! Brand spanking new, to boot! Pun intended. I didn't care what size they were, I'd make them fit. I gasped when I saw they were exactly my size. They're too pretty to hike in, so I'll have to figure something out.

Off to check my email...

Are we good mommies or what?

Frosty Paws Dog Ice Cream Recipe


32 oz. plain yogurt

1 mashed banana

2 T p'nut butter

2 T honey



It’s true dairy products aren’t good for dogs, but yogurt contains much less lactase than regular milk and the live cultures are great for your dog’s digestive system. This dog ice cream recipe is delicious and good for your pet!

1. Mix all these ingredients in your blender, then dump into ice cube trays, paper cups, or even a kong toy to freeze and serve.

2. If you want to go all out for your mutt you can freeze these homemade frosty paws just like you would homemade ice cream. A salt-less automatic ice cream maker makes this as easy as using any other appliance in your home and the frosty paws will be ready to serve in 10 minutes.

For the ultimate treat, appropriate for desert at a doggy birthday party, follow steps one and two, then take the mostly frozen dog ice cream product of number two and spread it 1” to 1½” thick on wax paper. Freeze for five minutes and thenremove dog ice cream from freezer. Next, use a paw shaped cookie cutter to cut a paw shaped “frosty paws”, remove ice cream around edges, and return paw shapes to the freezer to freeze solid.

This kid was at the grocery store yesterday.

I don't have kids, so maybe I have no business writing about brats.

Sure my heathens are brats.  Right now they are wildly barking at a older man walking his cocker spaniel down the street.  The weather is gorgeous (sorry, Florida) so the windows are open and it's exceptionally embarassing.  The man pointed at my house and said someting to his dog.  Probably something like, "That's how not to act."

Whatever.  They're dogs.  Dogs bark.

But I would like to think that if I did have a kid, that he or she (OK - she) would be smart, funny, kind, beautiful and talented.  Those are things not really in our control though.  I do know that I would teach my kid to have manners.  And she'd use them.  Or else.  I have never spanked an animal but I'm pretty sure that as a mother, I'd be an advocate of the spankings.  There's a difference between spanking and beating.  Wouldn't be a beater.  (I don't think.)

Also my heathens are gonna be my heathens for all of their lives.  I don't have to worry about them becoming decent, well adjusted members of society.  Although, it would be nice if they'd get jobs.   

I pulled into the grocery store parking lot yesterday.  I drive like an old lady according to Robin, so it was to my surprise that I almost hit a toddler.  He was with his mother and two other babies.  He darted out of the car and ran right in front of me.  The mother didn't even see it.  She was busy adjusting a baby to her chest and plunking another one in the cart. 

They all entered the store just before me, so I was stuck behind them.  Tried to get around them and the boy jumped on the end of my cart.  I looked at his mother and she just said "Seth.  No."  Got around them finally and Seth took off like a bat outta hell.  His mother didn't even notice.  He ran up and down every single isle and his mom was oblivious.  A few ladies and I made eye contact and shook our heads in disgust.  He ran by his mother and she didn't say a word.  I was afraid someone would kidnap him, but then again, who would kidnap a child like that?  He ran around the entire store a few more times, then I guess he ran out of steam for a minute.  Went back to his mom and demanded ice cream.  She literally said, "Be a good boy and you'll get a present."  He took off running again. 

We checked out at around the same time and sure enough, there was ice cream in the cart.  Unbelievable. 

We were at the beach recently and a mother couldn't get her kid out of the lake.  Major temper tantrum.  He finally came out and she thanked him for listening to her.  What about smacking his bottom for not coming out the first 37 times she asked him to?

Now my heathens are lying on the back of the couch (Bodi), the coffee table (Brady), my chair (Buddy)  and Baxter is asleep on the floor by my feet.  Maxx is asleep in the bedroom.  Until the next walker by.  Or squirrel.  Or rabbit.  Or leaf.

I can only imagine how difficult raising one kid is, let alone three little ones at a grocery store.  But come on, lady.  Letting your kid run willy nilly in a parking and not even noticing?  Not good.

It's true ~ When God closes a door, he opens a window.

Remember the job that I wrote about on Thursday?  The one where I'd put all my eggs in one basket?  The one where I called the lady and she told me they were still interviewing, but I'd hear something early this week?  That very day I received a thanks but no thanks letter in the mail.  Guess she didn't have the gonads to tell me herself.

I was bummed out, but not to the point of crying or anything.  I really don't want to spend one and a half to two hours per day in my car if I can avoid it.  Still, those 23 days per year of paid time off - well, that's just kind of unheard of these days. 

This is obviously a holiday weekend and I was planning on just putting my worries behind me until tomorrow.  We had plans to go to the Apple Festival, a cook out on Saturday at a friend's house, friends over Sunday night, and the inevitable get together with Iris and Joe today.  We made it to the festival on Saturday and then something hit me lke a brick.  I instantly came down with flu like symptoms and have been under the weather ever since.  It's kinda OK though because it's a dark rainy day and if I have to be sick, this is perfect weather for it.  Robin now has it too. 

We actually went to the festival twice on Saturday.  It was the second go round, the one where we went back just to get a sausage dog, that I felt ill.  After we got home from the morning visit, we decided to go to Iris' pool.  Robin got a text from her boss asking if they could park in our driveway.  Parking is a challenge to say the least at these events.

We didn't know when they were gonna show up, but it didn't really matter.  They weren't coming to see us;  they were headed to the festival.  We got ready for the pool and were about to leave when Buddy decided he needed some sun.  Buddy takes after me.  He LOVES to lie out in the sun.  And once he gets comfortable, you can't budge him.  So as we were sweetly saying, "Come on, Buddy" and then not so sweetly saying, "Buddy, get in here right now", they showed up.  It was her boss, his wife and two kids in one car and his sister, her husband and daughter in another car.  Since we were about to head out, we offered them a ride to the festival.  Nine people in my car!  We looked like circus clowns when everyone got out!

They all live in Asheville.  We drove by a very popular restaurant and his sister said, "In all the years I've worked in Hendersonville, I've never eaten there."  I asked her where she works, she told me, and then said, "Why?  Do you know someone who's looking for a job?"

I told her my background and Robin said her face lit up!!!!  It was kinda surreal, really.  Surreally, if you will.

Anywho...best not to share the name just yet, but she said she'd hook me up.  Everyone has heard of this establishment and it will never ever go out of business. 

I know what you're thinking, because I feel it too.  "Poor Kim.  She gets her hopes up so high so quickly.  She's like the girl who thinks she finally met "the one" and he never calls her."

Part of me does feel like that, but a bigger part of me knows that something perfect is waiting for me right around the corner.  I have to keep a positive attitude.

We left the pool as they were leaving the festival so we picked them up.  She brought up the subject again and took my email address.  She said she'll be in touch this week and will personally walk my resume to the head of HR.

Get this.  She said that one of the best things is the benefits:  25 DAYS OF PTO PER YEAR PLUS SIX HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!

If it wasn't for Buddy needing his tanning fix and completely ignoring my demand to come inside, I would have missed meeting her.

So here I sit, praying that this is the one........please???????

Where did August go?

I have no idea.

I haven't written anything (here) in a while because there really hasn't been much to write.  My mom had hand surgery and is recovering from that.  She was on good drugs for a while, so those conversations were fun.  I have been chasing after a job in Asheville that I really want.  Applied online, they called and sent me an application and a personality test, which I must have passed thank you very much because next was a phone interview, then an in person interview.  I called to follow up this morning and the lady thought I was a friend of hers and started talking to me as such.  Pretty funny!  I'll hear something early next week. 

Yesterday Robin hosted a luncheon for some successful ex-con stories, her bosses, parole officers and potential employers.  She was scared nobody would show up, so I went and so did Iris and Joe.  Robin is an excellent public speaker.  She really hams it up well.  She was funny, informative and really drew the people in.  There were about 40 people in attendance and I was really proud of her.  Until she went too far.  I know her better than anyone and I doubt even Iris and Joe picked up on the BS when Robin was finishing up her speech.  When she was talking about the re-entry program (prisoners re-entering society) and how there needs to be so much more than just giving them $40 and dropping them off on the side of the road.  It was all making sense and going smoothly.  Then she put her hand on her chest and so sincerely (NOT) said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I hate to sound like a cliche, but....it really does take a village."    I must have blacked out for a few seconds at that one because I don't remember what came next.

During the whole thing, there was a nice looking man making sure everyone had seats, drinks, the pamphlets, stuff like that.  I knew who he was because Robin introduced me.  She has talked about him a lot and thinks the world of him.  He, however, is one of the success stories and spent a very long time in jail.  She forbids me to go into detail about these people so I can't say what he did.  Anywho, Iris mentioned how nice he seemed.  I told her what he did and she fake shuddered.  Next thing I knew, she was standing next to him, lightly rubbing his arm and telling him, "I was watching you.  You are a very attentive and compassionate man."  Then she came back to me and in true Betty White fashion from "Hot in Cleveland", she whispered, "Yeah, I flirted.  So what?"

(BTW - this past weekend I discovered "Hot in Cleveland".  There was a marathon.  Cannot tell you how much I friggen LOVE this show!!!!)

Speaking of Iris, I ran into her at the bank on Monday.  We stood in the parking lot for an hour.  If I get this Asheville job, Robin and I have already decided to trade cars.  I have a gas guzzler and she has a gas efficient car.  On Monday, Iris asked me if I ever considered trading in my car.  Told her no, that it's good to have a big car, and plus I happen to love my car.  Yesterday, after the lunch and the seduction of the ex-con, we stood in the parking lot and chatted (of course - no quick get aways with Iris).  Joe was complimenting my car and telling me how good it looks.  There is one boo boo with my car that I can't ignore and fix with duct tape forever.  The car is 10 years old and lived 9 of those years in the hot Florida sun.  I have a few rust spots on the roof that leak.  So far, the classy duct tape trick has been sufficient.  Mentioned it to Joe and he said that it could be fixed.  Out of nowhere, Iris said, "Well Joe?  Why would she spend money to fix it when she's gonna get a new car?" 

WHAT?  Why all of a sudden does Iris hate my car? 

As we were about to say goodbye for real, Iris took me aside a little.  Joe's hearing aid is broken and he'd have to go to Asheville to get it fixed.  They're old and old people don't like Asheville I've discovered.  I have volunteered repeatedly to take Joe to Asheville to get it fixed.  Iris discreetly thanked me for the offer, but she's decided to wait until they go back to Florida in November.  "He can be deaf for a few more months."

She was on my nerves a little, so I was happy to say bye.  Surely we'll see them this weekend.  A)  It's a holiday weekend, and B)  It's the Apple Festival, which is a big deal around here.   Iris asked, "Where are you going now?"  "Home."  Really I was going to go home and change my clothes, then meet Robin at Goodwill when she got off work.  I have totally put all my eggs in one basket with this job, and if I get it, I need a few things.  Goodwill is hit and miss.  Well yesterday was all hit for me.  Was super excited to find an expensive skirt and pair of pants.  Had some other things in the cart and so did Robin.  Turned the corner and who did we run in to?  Iris and Joe.  When she started rummaging through my finds (and looking at the sizes, I'm sure), I quickly grabbed them up and went to the dressing room.  Then they all stood there and expected me to model for them.  Joe yelled, "Kimi?  You need some help getting undressed?"  "No, I'm good Joe.  Thanks."

So now it's September, which is one of my favorite months.  Fall is right around the corner and I am fighting the urge to decorate.  Those scarecrows sure are calling my name though.

If you ever find yourself in need of a house guest, invite my mother.

Seriously, she's the best.

Not only does she bring towels for the entire family so I don't have extra laundry, but she brings food and drinks galore!  Cases of soda and water, snacks, bagels, cans of tuna and mayo, peanut butter and jelly.  She even brought steak for us to have one night!

We had hot dogs (she brought them) the first night they were here.  My niece doesn't eat hot dogs, so Robin made her a burger.  In the microwave.  It was disgusting!  Wouldn't even feed it to one of the heathens.  Next was my potato salad.  I'd never made it before.  I tend to get carried away, more is better mentality.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes it doesn't.  It was the worst potato salad I ever had.  Was discussing it with Iris this past weekend, and in her fake British accent she announced, "I  make mine with just potatoes, mayonnaise, and a little salt and pepper.  I must say, it is delicious.  Joe loves it."  Well, good for you, Ivis.

We got in the car Monday morning and didn't know where we were headed.  There's a gem mine nearby that my mom had mentioned.  Wound up going there.  I envisioned, well, mining gems.  No.  You buy buckets of dirt and dump it in little baskets and swish them around in the water.  It actually was quite fun!  We all got some cool looking things.  I got what I was sure was a gold nugget!  With gold the price it is right now, I thinking "CHA CHING"!!!!!  Proudly waddled up to show the guy.  Fool's gold.  Thought, "Yo mama's a fool."

Wound up in Pisgah National Forest.  Hiked a little to Slippery Rock.  On the way, my mother swore that she had just walked right by Casey Anthony.  Right, Mom.  "Really!!  It looked just like her!!"   Uh huh.  Slippery Rock is a big slippery rock that KIDS slide down.  Kids and, of course, Robin.  Robin climbed to the top of the rock to slide down it and I went to the bottom of the rock.  Videoed her sliding down with her very expensive, bought in a former life when we didn't bat an eye at spending money on frivolous things such as $300 sunglasses, sunglasses dangling from her shirt.  They made the entire slippery rock, but disappeared as she hit the water.  The end of the video is me screaming at her to find them.  She couldn't and gave up.  I was literally physically sick to my stomach.  I even teared up.  It wasn't so much that she'd lost them, but I do not see us in the near future being able to buy something like that.  It was like the end of an era.  I was truly sad.  Then we met a very nice teenager (not an oxymoron) who volunteered to dive for them if we could find someone with goggles.    We found goggles and he saved the day.

The next day we drove to Lake Lure and had a nice lunch out.  Stopped at a few places on the way home.  My mom bought us new curtains for the living room and dining room.  Came home and I redeemed my culinary skills by making a nice dinner.  While I was cooking, my brother hung the curtains and they all redecorated the place.  Rearranged furniture and pictures.  Looks so fresh in here now.  And my mom was very sly and snuck a lot of pink accents in all over the place.  Robin even loves the new look.

The last day they were here, we went to a flea market in South Carolina.  My mom hit the lottery!  She collects Mexican pottery called "talavera".  Well she found what every household needs...a talavera toilet ashtray!!!!  WOOOO  HOOO!  Way to go, MOM!!!

Robin saw an electric guitar that she wanted for $55.  I was super bitch and said no.

They left on Thursday because my brother had to work on Friday.  I'm always a wreck after they leave.  But, as I told a friend, they're just a road trip away.  Could be worse.

Now it's back to looking for a job, losing weight and working out.  What's the opposite of buyers' remorse?  Whatever it is, I have it.  Should have let Robin get that guitar because there's something I want for $50 - to join online Weight Watchers.  Just had a discussion about it.  She wants me to do it.  Something about "happy wife, happy wife".  And "Do it!!!  You need something to focus on while you're out of work to make you less meshuggina."  Meshuggina is Jewish for crazy.

DIY

Robin has been on a "do it yourself" kick.  A few weeks ago, it was the kitty litter, ginger ale and laundry detergent.  Then came the homemade dulcimer.   When I saw the printed out "how to make pickles" instructions on the table, I knew what was next.

Yesterday we went to a farmers' market.  I got what I wanted and she got what she wanted.  Didn't really pay attention.  She put it all away when we got home, so I didn't know what she had picked up. 

My mom, brother and niece are on their way here for a few days.  Very excited!  My brother has a special way of communicating, usually by yelling.  His daughter is 15 and acts exactly like him.  Just hung up with my mom and they (brother and niece) were screaming at each other over where his toothbrush was.  This is gonna be fun.  Anywho ~ sent Robin to the store this morning.  This was when she announced that she is going to make homemade pickles. 

She stuck with the list I'd given her and when she got home, she yelled a four letter expletive beginning with F .  "I forgot my pickling spices."  And off she went.

She came back and started doing her thing.  She sterilized her canning jars, made the pickle mix, boiled some stuff and began chopping what she thought was a cucumber that she'd gotten yesterday. 

Too bad it was a zuchinni.

Again with the "F" and off she went.  This time for cucumbers.

 

PS:  As I was typing this, my mom called from the road.  "Wild Thing" by Funky Cold Medina was blasting in the background and my brother and niece were fighting over "Cool Ranch Doritos".  Gonna be a looooong drive for my mother.  She doesn't usually drink, but I have a feeling that somebody's gonna need a cocktail when she gets here. 

I've been in the mountains too long.

We moved up here one year ago this week.  I have been a good sport through the corn maze, the endless trips to the cider mill, the freezing temperatures in the winter, Robin's broken leg, the Coon Dog festival, and let's not forget my employment fiascos. Don't even get me started on Iris and Joe.

But I think it's time to GO.

I am not employed right now (duh) and naturally money is tight.  We're managing, but there's not a lot of wiggle room.

I overheard Robin tell one of our friends a few weeks ago that she was going to buy a dulcimer.  Didn't know what she was talking about and didn't really care.  Figured she was BS'ing. 

Then it came up again.  I googled it and thought she'd officially lost her mind.  Why in the HELL would she want one of these?  Her mother is always telling me what a talent she is on the piano, but have I ever heard her play?  No.  She refuses.

Come to find out, Robin has been in search of a hobby.  I guess she's read every book in the H'ville library and now wishes to express her musical side.  When we accidentally wound up at a store called "Song of the Wood" last weekend, I went BAAAA-listic. 

She assured me that her mother was going to reimburse her because she wanted her to have a hobby so she'd stay off the streets. Didn't believe her and was pissed all weekend. Iris did come through on Monday, but I didn't know she would and was stressed out all weekend. Anywho, she wasn't just buying this totally unnecessary and frivalous mountain instrument, she was buying a KIT! She has been working on the thing all week. My dining room looks like my grandfather's old work shop. By the way, we happen to have a very nice work bench IN THE GARAGE.

She's almost done with it and now the real joy shall begin...Robin teaching herself to play. In case she really does have musical talent, I gingerly asked the sales lady at "Song of the Wood", "If she can play the piano, will that help her learn this quickly?". Got a quick, "No".

So, yeah, it may be time for me to hit the road. Or Robin.

When someone has over stayed their welcome?

UNLEASH THE DOGS!  FIVE OF THEM!

Joe (you know Joe ~ Iris and Joe?) has a son in town.   Got here yesterday from Florida.    It's not clear as to whether or not he's allowed to leave the state  of Florida.  Legal issues.  Iris so did not want him to come and it's been a stressful few weeks for Iris and Joe.  Every time I talk to Iris she tells me to get the guest room ready.  For her, not the son.

The son wants to move here with his girlfriend even though neither of them has ever been here before.  He keeps mentioning our basement to Iris and Joe and I am holding my breath waiting for him to ask to stay here.  When the "HELL NO" resonates around the world, you'll know he asked.

He's two years older then Robin.  Iris and Joe got married when Robin was around 14, so they all lived together for a few years.  I had never met him.  Robin described him as good looking, charming, and a con-artist.  Even Joe says if he's talking, he's lying.  We were in their neighborhood yesterday and Robin suggested we stop by and say hello.  So I got to meet him and he's exactly what I had imagined.  We stayed about five minutes and as we were getting in the car, he took Robin aside.  He wanted her phone number.

At around 7:00 last night her phone rang.  Having stayed with Iris and Joe for two weeks last summer while we were looking for a place to live, I knew it would be a matter of time before he would be calling to come over.  Just didn't know it would be his first night in town.  He asked to come over to talk about the area.  Robin tried to avoid it by saying that she was going to bed early, but in typical con-artist fashion, he convinced her that he wouldn't stay long. 

We straightened up and situated the dogs.  By situated, I mean we put them all in separate rooms except for Buddy.  If he was coming over to discuss the  area and wasn't going to stay long, I figured the craziness that is our dogs would be better saved for another time.

Gave him the tour.  I practically peed in the basement to mark my territory.  Said things like "sanctuary" and "my space".  Pretty confident I got my point across.

We came upstairs and instead of sitting on the couch or a chair in the living room, he immediately set up his computer on the dining table and got his girlfriend on speaker phone.  (It's important to note (and good to know!!) that even though Joe's other son gave them a laptop, they don't have internet.)  Together they went through every rental property in Western North Carolina.  We tried to chime in with things like "too redneck" or "three hours away".   They didn't appreciate our input.  Did I mention it was "Big Brother" night?  We couldn't have the TV loudly enough to even hear it.  We normally wouldn't have it on with company, but we were being totally ignored, so what were we supposed to do? 

Finally at 11:00, feeling used and taken advantage of, I'd had enough.  Mentioned that I needed to let the dogs out, but again, I wasn't heard.  Buddy spends most of his time on the couch these days, so he was mellow the whole time.  But not the rest of them!  Once I opened those doors, they all came barreling out.  His girlfriend asked, "What is that noise?"  He replied, "About 200 pounds worth of dogs!"  I told him it was actually about 280 pounds worth of dogs.

He was gone within 10 minutes.

This was very effective, but it reminds me of when I was a kid and my parents had people over.  At a certain point, my dad would say, "Kay?  What do you say we go to bed so these nice people can go home?".

Also very effective.

Seriously. When did I get so old?

I rarely think about age, mine or anyone else's.  Sure Robin turned 50 this year and I teased her and my mom turned 70 and I teased her, but other than that, what difference does it really make?

If you're a Face Book friend of mine, you know I had a job interview at a local law firm today.  I think the interview went well, but he really had a poker face and I don't know for sure.  He was a character right out of a John Grisham novel.  Somber, slow speaking, Southern, "older" attorney.  I researched the firm before the interview to get a feel of who they are.  Established in the early 1900's - nice!   Seven attorneys, six of whom are older than me - good!  Three minutes from home - excellent!  (BTW ~ I will never mention the firm's name.  He told me that he was sure he didn't need to lecture me about the importance of confidentiality, but that if I get the job and happen to breach that, that I will be shot.  He also told me that my job description would be to "do whatever the hell it takes to get the job done".)

I think another adjective may be "curmudgeonly".

Came home and googled them again.  Wanted to see how old my potential future ex boss is.  Born in 1954.  He's only 11 years old than me.  That doesn't seem that old.  That makes him 57.  WHEN, I ask you, WHEN did it happen in my life that 57 isn't that old?  It seems like just yesterday 45 was old and I'm beyond that now.  Seems like I went from 26 to 46 overnight.    Where has the time gone?

I had another thought this morning about the whole interviewing process.  This is what going on a blind date must feel like.  I really am interested in this job, so I went all out.  Heels, skirt, blouse, hair, extra mascara.  Just like if I were going out on a date with someone with great potential.  I have another interview tomorrow with a job far less appealing.  I'm going because I feel like I need to.  It's some kind of bookkeeping job at a paper plant.  Glamorous, huh?  Hey, it's gotta be better than Harris Teeter.  And no boss will ever be as horrid as the owner of the pet place.  But because my heart already belongs to the cranky "old" man, I am not excited or nervous.  Black pants and some top that I'll decide on tomorrow, hair probably up.  I will do extra mascara because, well, I always do.

I feel like I've been in employment hell here in North Cackalacki and, just like I say about not having to date and being in a long term secure relationship, I am looking forward to the day when I can say, "I'm so glad I'm not "out there"".  

Would you look at the time?  Time for dinner!

One of the cats tried to have his way with me today.

My neck is still hurting so I had Robin put "ActivOn" on it.  Doesn't really help, but it does heat the area up a little, so I guess that makes it feel slightly better.  Went to lie down and Taliban (I had nothing to do with that name, thanks, cat was here first) went NUTS.  Kneading my back and purring the whole time, he was licking my neck and shoulders!  At first I wondered WTH had gotten into him, then it dawned on me that I had medicine on my neck.  Tried to get him away from me and he clawed and held on to my shirt.  Feeling quite violated, I yelled for Robin.  She came to the rescue and soon became a victim herself.  He hissed at her, scratched her arm and came back for some  more of me.  Finally was able to break away and felt the need to shower.

That was probably the highlight of the day so far.  We bought ingredients for chili yesterday and in a weak moment, I suggested to Robin that we have Iris and Joe over for chili tomorrow.   Before I even had the sentence out of my mouth, Robin was on the phone and Iris was saying yes.  Now I have to make two pots of chili.  One for Joe and one for the rest of us.  He can't handle spicy.  If Iris read this, she'd say, "He can handle me."

Robin has a dew rag on.  Well, it's not really a dew rag.  My PJ's bottoms are normally too long and I just cut them off.  (Very sexy.  No wonder Taliban wanted me.) Robin then takes the six to eight inch pieces of fabric and wears them on her head.  (Also very sexy.)  But only when she's in a cleaning or organizing mood.  I know I'm in trouble when she's wearing one.   A friend called last night and told us how she makes her own ginger ale, kitty litter and laundry detergent.  Robin's made the ginger ale and kitty litter so far today.  The kitty litter involves shredded newspaper that you wet then dry.  That makes no sense to me, but whatever.   Robin is not known for her patience and asked me, NOT JOKINGLY, if she could dry the newspaper in the oven.

So now, being the losers that we are, we are watching the Casey Anthony trial highlights and waiting to see what happens when she's released.    Not sure if that will take the lead as highlight of the day over my rendezvous with Taliban. 

Robin just got yelled at by a friend because I haven't written on my blog in a week.

"It's not like she's working?  Why can't she write on her blog?  What the hell does she do all day?"

Good question.  I'll tell you what I'm not doing all day.  Answering my phone.

Truth is, I'm  in  a little funk.  Am very stressed out about not working and the stress has totally settled in my neck.  Thus, the above picture.

I have applied for probably 25 jobs, give or take.  Had one interview with a local vet.  Thought it went well.  Lady said she'd call either way.  Thought I'd bonded with her a little because we both left Upstate New York at age 18, moved to Florida, and wound up here.    Have not heard a peep from her, despite my three follow up phone calls.    When I tell them my name, I get, "Debra's in a meeting.  Can I take a message?"

Then I bit the bullet and applied at a local law office.  Wrote what I thought was a wonderful cover letter.  Nothing. 

I check my phone several times a day to make sure it's working.  Checked my resume to make sure my phone number is right.  Everything's in order.  I don't get it.

Decided to make the most of this time off by cooking only healthy stuff and working out every day.  That's coming along nicely.  Until I weighed today.  Down 1.5 pounds since Sunday.  Was hoping more like 15.  Bite me, scale.

My ex's mom died this week.  She was a part of my life for a long time.  Feel awful for the entire family, but take peace in knowing that she is now with her husband of some 50 plus years.   Made me realize how many of my friends have lost one or both of their parents.  Robin and I are very lucky to not have gone through that.

Then my gloomy doomy week turned on a dime.  I got mad.  I had to go pick up my last paycheck today.  Could not have cared less if the owner was there or not.  She was the a-hole here, not me.   Turns out, they were on their way to Wisconsin to pick up their foster children.  Yes, the witch has foster kids.  She's no nicer to them than she is the animals.   Makes me wonder why she even has these kids.  Not wondering too hard though - $$$$$?  The maternal grandparents had taken the little girls while my prior bosses went to Europe.    Learned that one of my former coworkers was attacked by the owners' dog.  Here in NC, when there's a dog bite, the dog has to be quarantined.  I know this from personal experience.  The owner BEGGED this girl to tell the authorities that she was bitten by her own dog.  Said it would be bad for business. So she did and now her dog is quarantined for 10 days.  What will happen if this girl's dog ever does bite someone in the future?  I'm assuming nothing good.  Unfreakenbelievable the nerve this woman has.  Shows her character.  Or lack thereof.

Got my check, drove to the bank and guess what?  She didn't fill it in correctly.   She wrote the numerical amount, but not where you write out the words.  Mistake?  Doubt it.  She doesn't make mistakes.  And it's not like I could go make and have her fill it in.  She's on her way to Wisconsin.  So, feeling like I was being set up, yet not really caring because I'm not forging her name, I wrote out the numbers and went to another Suntrust.  Cashed check and spent it all at the grocery store.

My week ended with a phone call from the unemployment office.  Appears I did not make enough money in the past whatever quarters and don't qualify.   That is just plain sad.

I know that in the scheme of things, I am just experiencing a hiccup in life.  One day this time will all make sense.  I know that in comparison to the Anthony family, Jaycee Dugard's family and the family of  Leiby Kletzky, my problems are nothing.

Robin just made the BEST light summer dinner!

Both recipes came from "Cooking Light" magazine.  They were fantastic and healthy.  We grew several of the veggies.

   FRESH~FRESH~FRESH!!!

THAI BEEF ROLLS:

Ingredients


1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lime juice 1 tablespoon dark sesame oil 1 tablespoon bottled ground fresh ginger (such as Spice World) 1 tablespoon bottled minced garlic 2 teaspoons fish sauce 3/4 teaspoon sugar 4 (8-inch) flour tortillas 2 cups torn Boston lettuce 12 ounces thinly sliced deli roast beef (She used cut up steak) 1/2 cup matchstick-cut carrots 1/4 cup chopped fresh mint

Preparation

Combine first 6 ingredients in a small bowl, stirring well with a whisk. Place tortillas on a work surface; brush lightly with 2 teaspoons juice mixture. Arrange 1/2 cup lettuce on each tortilla; top each with 3 ounces beef. Combine carrots and mint; arrange about 3 tablespoons carrot mixture over each serving. Drizzle each serving with about 1 tablespoon of remaining juice mixture; roll up.

CREAMY COLESLAW WITH BACON:

Combine 1/3 cup light mayo,  1/3 cup reduced fat sour cream, 1 TBS minced seeded jalapeno pepper, 1 TBS white wine vinegar, 2 TSP sugar, 1/2 TSP salt, and 3 cooked and crumbled bacon slices.  (If you have dogs, you must cook one extra piece of bacon per pup).  Add 1 (16 ounce) package coleslaw, tossing well to cover.  Cover and chill.

I've said this before, but this time I really mean it. I need new friends.

More about that later.

So we went to the Coon Dog Festival today.  It was a lot of fun, but we didn't really know anything about coon dogs or racoons or the connection between the two.  Until we got home.  More about that later.

We ran into our crazy friend, Tina, who was there with her husband and her crazy sister.  Tina is crazy, but she also has a heart of gold.  Her sister is just plain crazy.  We'd met once before, but are hardly friends.  She asked me for a cigarette, told her I don't smoke, and she then grabbed my hand and complimented my ring.  Said something about us getting married, then dropped my hand and she went off.  "I was dating a guy for a while.  We went on vacation together twice and were planning a third one.  We had sex on Thursday night, date night on Friday night when my son went to my mother's, had sex on Saturday morning.  Sunday, I can't remember.  Did we have sex or not?  Anyway, Monday he broke up with me via text and by Tuesday he was with someone else and rubbing my face in it.  But then my neighbor came over and said she knows a real nice man.  A man, not a guy.  He's  real nice man.  That's what I need.  A man.  We've been out four times and we haven't even kissed.  Well, he gave me a peck on the cheek once, but we're taking it slow.  Real slow."

Thankfully, the parade started and I pretended I couldn't hear her, so she stopped talking. 

After the parade, we walked around a little.  I got a tee shirt.  Robin got a bright green wallet made out of duct tape.  It's actually very cute.   There were many vendors and I think we noticed everything there was to see.  Typical festival food and stuff.  And funny looking people.

WARNING ~~~ THE FOLLOWING MAY OFFEND SOME PEOPLE.

We got home and I started downloading my pictures.  My phone rang and Robin told me who it was.  I will not say her name, but it was a dear friend from college who evidently had read on Facebook that we were going to the Coon Dog Festival.  I answered the phone and put her on speaker phone.  Introduced Robin, they exchanged "nice to meet you"'s and here is how the rest of the conversation went:

Her:  "Are you at the Coon Dog Festival?"

Me:  "Just got home."

Her:  "Did you see any coon dicks?"

Me:  "Coon dips?"

Her:  "Dicks."

Robin:  "I think she's saying d-i-c-k-s."

Me:  "Coon dicks?"

Her:  "Yeah.  Did you?"

Robin:  "What kind of friends do you have?"

Me:  "Are you drunk?  High, maybe?"

Her:  "Do you know anything about coon dogs or racoons?"

Me:  "I guess not."

Her:  "Coon dogs chase racoons.  Racoons have bones in their penis'."

Me:  "Do go on."

Robin:  (quietly to me ) "Do I know her?"

Her:  "They're good luck.  My friend had a friend who hunted racoons for the skin.  We collected the penis' and made ornaments out of them.  We made angels and santas.  We were gonna sell them for $5.00 each, but her husband, who's a CPA told us to charge $10.00 each.  We made over a hundred of them and sold them all for $10.00 each.  Made a killing."

Thanked her for the education and we hung up.

I certainly didn't believe her until I googled it.  Sure enough, they're good luck. 

Are YOU lucky enough to be on my Christmas list this year?