I will not get discouraged. I will not get discouraged. I will not get discouraged.

I'm discouraged.

Who's friggen idea was it to do this C25K?

What was I THINKING?

I can quit if I want. Who cares?

Here's the thing. It's a nine week program. A person is "supposed" to go from being a couch potato to running a 5K in nine weeks. I completed Weeks 1,2 and 3 with no problem. It wasn't a breeze, but I did exactly what was expected of me.

I am about to repeat Week 4 for the second time. REPEATING for the second time. That means this is the third week of Week 4. And you know what? I will be here next week STILL talking about repeating Week 4. I can see myself not moving to Week 5 for another month.

I went to the C25K site today and found a message board. Between this blog, my Facebook and my online WW friends, I have no desire to join another message board.

I did, however, lurk.

I read lots of posts about people having trouble with Weeks 1, 2 and 3. I didn't. Tons of people get stuck on Week 4 and 5. (Great. 5 too?)

After reading the posts, one thing became crystal clear. This is a personal challenge. I am not competing with anyone. I am just doing the best I can in a running program. The fact that I am almost 45, overweight and have never been an athlete (big diff tween and athlete and an exerciser), I should be proud of myself for sticking to this and making weekly improvement.

Just as soon as I stop procrastinating, check my Facebook and chat with my WW peeps, I'm gonna hop on that beast and give it my all.

W4/D7/x3...here I come.

Family Portrait

FUN Birthday Weekend

We never did make it to "Shutter Island", but the weekend was great! Stopped at Twinkles (cute store) on the way to Lincoln Road. I had ordered the gift for Robin and she loved it. It's a rolling brief case thing - pink and green polka dots. It's what every serious attorney should show up in court with.

Had lunch at Nexxt Cafe. Should have taken a picture of the food. Huge portions and nicely presented. Then we walked around a I took a few pictures of the weirdos.

Came home and surprised Robin with more birthday surprises. When we went to my mom's over Christmas, we went shopping and there has been a bag of clothes that Robin had gotten that she totally forgot about. They've been in the guest room since Christmas, so I tossed them in a gift bag and gave them to her for her birthday. After looking at the third piece of clothing, she was like, "Hey! Wait a minute! I bought this". Oh well. My jig was up.

Saturday we got up at around 4:30 and cleaned the house, went to the grocery store, made food and then Steph and her kids arrived. The adorable neighbors came over with their little boy and we had a great day! The three little boys were so cute. Mikey, Steph's four year old, made us sing "Happy Birthday" to him a bunch of times. It's not his birthday. He looks like a little angel, but the kid is a thief. I watched him ransack my piggy banks and then put the money in my gumball machine. He also has a tape fetish and I am still finding pieces of scotch tape around the house. Later Steph (a professional photographer) insisted on taking pictures. At first I was a little camera shy, but after 30 seconds, I was in to it. So much fun! Next time I see Steph, I'll do something with my hair!

Yesterday we read, sat in the sun, watched a movie, took a nap and totally chilled out. The most ambitious thing I did was toss some spinach on a frozen pizza.

Next weekend we're going camping. In the backyard.

So today is Robin's birthday....

She's in a funk and I'm trying to get her to go to Lincoln Road. She's showered and dressed, so that's a good start. We'll stop at the shop where I'll pick up her gift and then hit South Beach. Lunch at NEXXT and then (hopefully, fingers crossed) a movie and shopping. I really wanna see "Shutter Island" and if I told Robin the premise, she'd say "No way". So I told her it's a comedy about about a bunch of photographers. This may be mean to do to someone who is in a funk on their birthday, but I'm hoping it'll scare the bejesuz outta her and take her mind off her troubles.

So close....

So now that I've decided to become an athlete, I've been thinking about all the other things in my life that I do now that I never thought I'd do.

The first one is having become a pretty decent cook. Was just stirring my sauce (as opposed to hitting it), and I came out to announce to Robin how proud I am of her (She had a big depo today.) And me.

Me: "You know what? There is no reason why I can't become a runner. Whodathunk 2 years ago that I'd be making an Emmerrit Gasse recipe? If I can do that, I can certainly become a runner".

Her: "A what recipe?"

Me: "It's pork and wild mushroom sauce."

Her: "Who's the chef?"

Me: "Emm. Er. Something. Shut up. I can't be an athlete, a chef, AND be expected to know everything".

Can you make yourself an addict?

I want to become addicted to running. I have an addictive personality and this should be no different. I feel the obsession growing inside me and I want to nurture it. Since I started the C25K program three weeks ago, it's really all I think and talk about. (Well. That, and Debbie and Ingrid coming to visit on March, 22, 41 days from now.)

I really do think about running a lot. Today I finished Week 3 Day 3. Week 4 begins on Saturday and I'm already turning myself inside out over it. It is a lot harder then Week 3. Was thinking I'm not ready for Week 4, but how can I say that? I haven't even tried. Mind over matter. I finished Week 3 with no difficulty, so we shall see. Part of me is afraid of trying Week 4 and not being able to do it. So what? If necessary, Week 4 will be a week to repeat, not Week 3. I have to literally talk myself. "Don't go there, Kim. You made a promise to yourself that you would do your best, push yourself, but when it got to be too much, you wouldn't beat yourself up. Stop it right now. Everyone has their own pace. Go at yours."

I have been reading everything I can google about beginning runners, especially runners with weight issues. Considering age, weight and years of yo-yo dieting, it's a wonder I'm not on medication for blood pressure, diabetes, etc. I am probably one of the healthiest people (knock on wood) that I know. Have no joint pain, feet, ankle or knee pain. No back pain or hip pain.

So why NOT me???

In addition to the obvious, I do have another obstacle to overcome. I am in the [whatever the word for 'really super strong habit' is] of only running on my treadmill and ONLY while watching "Sex and the City" DVD's. Nothing else will do. I live in a perfect neighborhood for running, perfect street actually. One of these days I have to take it outside. How I will ever be able to do this without my girls, I don't know. One foot in front of the other.

I am going to get through this program, no matter how long it takes me. A year from now, when somebody says, "Hey! What are you guys doing next weekend?" I want to be the person who says, "I have a run".

I wanna be "Pyscho Runner"! I wanna have to buy new running shoes so often that even Robin gets mad at the amount of money I spend. I wanna annoy people with talk about endorphines and how much time I trimmed off my last run and how great I feel!!!!

I want people to HATE ME because I look and feel so good. I can't wait!

I'm so glad Robin doesn't look like Rosie in a dress.

Isn't she beautiful???

Disturbing, to say the least.

I had a dream last night that my nose so stuffed up, I had to be hospitalized. The nurse and doctor who were taking care of me were married. She was Irish and he was from India. They got in a huge fight and weren't paying attention to me. I decided I had to take matters into my own hands. I pulled a four inch red gummy worm out of my nose and in it were three charms that had fallen off my charm bracelet.

(Just read this to Robin and asked if it's stupid. "Stupid? No. Unsettling? Yes.)

Do we smell?

We have several items that we're selling on Ebay right now. The auction is over in about an hour. We're currently selling purses, but have lots of other stuff to list once this one is over.

Gotta be honest. I'm getting a little greedy. There is one purse in particular that I know I set the reserve too low. A week ago, the $75.00 reserve seemed fair. I haven't carried the purse in over a year. Now I'm looking at it totally differently, and I not only don't want to sell it, I don't want to sell it at a fraction of the price I paid. I know it's EBAY and all, but still...

Looks like we're about to sell five outta eight purses. Not bad. Of the five, we will undoubtedly get at least one person who complains that the purse smells like smoke. My advice to this person? If it's that important to you, you should have asked first. What am I supposed to write in the description? "Beautiful authentic gently used FENDI purse. Comes from a five dog, three pack a day smoker and two cat household. Perfect bag for spring ~ you'll love it!!!"

It's no secret...

I have fake nails. Acrylics. Have had them for years. Hell. I even had fake toenails for a period in the late 90's.

Acrylics take maintenance. I usually go for a fill in every two weeks. Sometimes life gets in the way and before I know it, three weeks have gone by. That's when stuff happens. The distance between the cuticle and the acrylic has grown out. The nail become "loose", for lack of a better term. This is one of those days. I like to stick a piece of paper under the acrylic to see how far it will go. If it's extra loose, I use something a little stiffer, like a piece of cardboard. If I'm really lucky and it's super loose, I get out my driver's license and use that. Credit cards are too thick.

I know this all sounds very bizarre, but it's what I do. Some people pluck chin hairs, I do this. (Shut up. I do not have chin hairs. I get an occasional once a month invisible neck hair...BIG difference).

Just now, I had my license wedged in there real good (I know it's "very well", but "real good" sounds better right now) and the nail flew off. The bad news is that it landed in my keyboard, right between the E and R and D and F. I spent 10 minutes trying to remove those letters by flicking them off with a pen. I was successful with the E and R and D, but the F went flying across the room. Couldn't find it anywhere. Finally found it under a big armoire in my office. That took another 10 minutes.

One nail down, nine to go.

I got to work this morning and my friend and I were talking about recipes. She told me about one she'd just found for Dill Pickle Soup. (Why do I always capitalize recipes?)

Just sent Robin an email.

"Hey! How does Dill Pickle Soup sound to you?"

"About as good as pubic hair salad."

It isn't easy being me.

I suck. There is really something wrong with me. Why do I insist of getting in my own way all the time?

I did Week2/Day4 of my training for the C25K this morning (6th day in a row of working out, thank you very much). I hated every second of it today and am actually glad to be going to work tomorrow. I do not pressure myself to do the treadmill after long days and bad traffic. Then I ran (Oops! Can't throw that word around anymore!) to the bank and stopped at Taco Hell on the way home. Ordered Robin her two meals and I got two Fresco ("healthier") tacos. (OK, I got three, but only ate two). She left for a meeting and I'm alone in the house. Just me, 5 dogs, 2 cats, and this Reese's cup. I circled it in white - on the left side, right in the middle. See it? We usually have one thing of choclate in the house for when the craving takes over. We hide it on each other, and normally there isn't an issue. I just opened the fridge to reach for my second bottle of crap cranberry/water/fake Jillian juice and there it was. I could have closed the door, but did I? No.

I am not craving chocolate. I'm not craving anything. So why did I set this stupid little evil orange thing there to stare at me? I am not going to eat it. Why did I take a picture?

Seriously ~ I will not eat it. It's going back to the fridge right this minute.

The following is 100% plagiarized - word for word - and I don't care.

It’s almost Superbowl time!! And with the anticipation of the big game also comes the anticipation of all the fattening, greasy foods that are at all the Superbowl Parties. For any Weight Watcher, we know this is a dangerous path to go down. But, I’ve created and found some AWESOME Weight Watchers Superbowl Recipes that are SOOOO good, all those football lovin’ fans will never know that they they are eating healthy Superbowl snacks! If you like the traditional Hot Dog Pigs in a Blanket Recipe, then this low calorie version will knock your socks off! It’s just as good as the high calorie wiener wraps, but these babies have just 1 Weight Watchers Point each!! So you can knock back a few and feel no guilt at all. Plus, they are super cute, fun little finger foods that are still manly enough for the big game! Enjoy!


Cheesy Hot Dog Wraps Recipe
Ingredients:
- 4 Ball Park Fat Free Beef Franks (you can use the fat free turkey ones, if you prefer)
- 2 low fat, low carb, high fiber Tortillas (I used La Tortilla Factory)
- 2 slices of fat free American cheese

** Feel free to add in optional chopped onions, pickles sauerkraut or relish for no extra Points!

Directions:
Grill up your hot dogs, broil them, boil them, nuke them, or cook them anyhow you’d like. I prefer grilling them, but any method is fine. Then, cut cheese slices and tortillas in half, so now you should have 4 tortilla pieces, and 4 cheese pieces. Place each cheese slice on top of each tortilla piece. Then, put in the hot dog and roll it up! Bake in oven for about 5 min at 325 degrees, until wrap starts to become golden brown. Makes 4 YUMMY servings.

Serving size is 1 wrap
Each serving = 1 Weight Watchers Point

I love this picture!

I started the C25K running program. The other day I announced to my Facebook world that I want to run a 5K in April around my birthday. The premise of the program is to walk and run in alternating intervals and build up. You are not to run more than 3 days a week and never on back to back days. The program takes at least nine weeks from beginning to end, but you're allowed to repeat weeks as needed. I see some repeating in my future. I see some repeating in my future.

So far, I've broken all the rules and I'm only on Week 2. I am starting to reign in, though. This is something that I really need to complete.

I love this picture!

I hate my guts.

Today is my 4th day of being on the Total Body Cleansing kit. Mind you, this not just a colon cleansing thing. It's supposed to be good for the liver, lungs, kidneys, earlobes, you name it. I think something is starting to kick in. I've had somewhat of a stomach ache all day that is hard to describe. It hurts to laugh and yell. (Robin and the dogs get a break today). I feel like I've done 200 crunches. Well, I imagine that's what this would feel like anyway.

4 days down --- 10 to go.