It's no secret...

I have fake nails. Acrylics. Have had them for years. Hell. I even had fake toenails for a period in the late 90's.

Acrylics take maintenance. I usually go for a fill in every two weeks. Sometimes life gets in the way and before I know it, three weeks have gone by. That's when stuff happens. The distance between the cuticle and the acrylic has grown out. The nail become "loose", for lack of a better term. This is one of those days. I like to stick a piece of paper under the acrylic to see how far it will go. If it's extra loose, I use something a little stiffer, like a piece of cardboard. If I'm really lucky and it's super loose, I get out my driver's license and use that. Credit cards are too thick.

I know this all sounds very bizarre, but it's what I do. Some people pluck chin hairs, I do this. (Shut up. I do not have chin hairs. I get an occasional once a month invisible neck hair...BIG difference).

Just now, I had my license wedged in there real good (I know it's "very well", but "real good" sounds better right now) and the nail flew off. The bad news is that it landed in my keyboard, right between the E and R and D and F. I spent 10 minutes trying to remove those letters by flicking them off with a pen. I was successful with the E and R and D, but the F went flying across the room. Couldn't find it anywhere. Finally found it under a big armoire in my office. That took another 10 minutes.

One nail down, nine to go.