Can you make yourself an addict?

I want to become addicted to running. I have an addictive personality and this should be no different. I feel the obsession growing inside me and I want to nurture it. Since I started the C25K program three weeks ago, it's really all I think and talk about. (Well. That, and Debbie and Ingrid coming to visit on March, 22, 41 days from now.)

I really do think about running a lot. Today I finished Week 3 Day 3. Week 4 begins on Saturday and I'm already turning myself inside out over it. It is a lot harder then Week 3. Was thinking I'm not ready for Week 4, but how can I say that? I haven't even tried. Mind over matter. I finished Week 3 with no difficulty, so we shall see. Part of me is afraid of trying Week 4 and not being able to do it. So what? If necessary, Week 4 will be a week to repeat, not Week 3. I have to literally talk myself. "Don't go there, Kim. You made a promise to yourself that you would do your best, push yourself, but when it got to be too much, you wouldn't beat yourself up. Stop it right now. Everyone has their own pace. Go at yours."

I have been reading everything I can google about beginning runners, especially runners with weight issues. Considering age, weight and years of yo-yo dieting, it's a wonder I'm not on medication for blood pressure, diabetes, etc. I am probably one of the healthiest people (knock on wood) that I know. Have no joint pain, feet, ankle or knee pain. No back pain or hip pain.

So why NOT me???

In addition to the obvious, I do have another obstacle to overcome. I am in the [whatever the word for 'really super strong habit' is] of only running on my treadmill and ONLY while watching "Sex and the City" DVD's. Nothing else will do. I live in a perfect neighborhood for running, perfect street actually. One of these days I have to take it outside. How I will ever be able to do this without my girls, I don't know. One foot in front of the other.

I am going to get through this program, no matter how long it takes me. A year from now, when somebody says, "Hey! What are you guys doing next weekend?" I want to be the person who says, "I have a run".

I wanna be "Pyscho Runner"! I wanna have to buy new running shoes so often that even Robin gets mad at the amount of money I spend. I wanna annoy people with talk about endorphines and how much time I trimmed off my last run and how great I feel!!!!

I want people to HATE ME because I look and feel so good. I can't wait!