Thursday, March 31, 2011

New day, new mood.

I allow myself one day per month to be down. Cramps are usually involved, hormones too. There's really no "allowing" going on. The mulligrubs just take over like a run away train and there's nothing I can do about it. It lasts exactly one day.

My problems haven't gone away since yesterday. Jeff, the nice guy attorney turned moronic idiot, didn't call and beg me to come work for him. Agents aren't pounding on my door asking me for more. I didn't lose 50 pounds overnight. There dogs are still heathens. Robins's still a heathen.

But...

I woke feeling like myself again. Then I did the treadmill and I now feel great! I know I should lift weights, blah blah blah, but my treadmill is my thing. We have a not so secret passionate love/hate thing between us. I hate it until I actually get on it, then I love it for the rest of the day. The anticipation of doing it is far worse than actually doing it. Guess NIKE's advertisers hit the nail on the head with "Just Do It". How true!

Once I hit the mill, I always feel better prepared to make healthier choices throughout the day. Guess it's that all or nothing at all mentality. Especially while I am unemployed, I am going to force myself to get it over with first thing every day. It really makes a difference in my day, attitude, outlook and choices.

O.M.G. I typed the above from my iPad about 20 minutes ago. Before I published it to my blog, I wanted to add a picture. Can only do that from Robin's laptop and she's taking some type of test right now. Yesterday I learned that my desk top is officially in computer heaven. Was very upset then, but today I'm thankful to have my iPad and her laptop. See? New day. New 'tude. Riiiight?

Anywho...we bought ten cans of tuna fish on sale the other day. Just now while waiting for her to finish her test, I googled tuna salad recipes.

Here's the OMG. Add curry. Make your tuna the way you normally would and ADD CURRY.

Gonna run out and get more tuna. Have a new thing.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I'm a money/note stasher.

I hide money all over the place. It's not that we have a lot of money (AT ALL), but when I have some, I like to hide it so I never have to feel broke. The truth is, sometimes I hide it too well and forget where.

I have many many different hiding places. Robin knows of a few. She'll now know of another one.

I have an ipad that is in a pink rubber protective thing. I taped an envelope to the back of my ipad and put money in there. Totally forgot about it and six months ago, I was was very pleasantly surprised to find a $100 dollar bill in there.

This afternoon Robin wanted to go to the store. My wallet was empty. I was holding my ipad and decided to see if I had any cash hiding.

No cash, but there was a hand written note that I had totally forgotten about. Took it when we were just at my mom's. How wrong is it that I feel the need to take notes in certain situations? Actually wish I'd taken more.

If you've been reading my blog lately, you know that my brother, Kyle, has a new girlfriend. She was coming over for the weekend while we were there. My mom wanted us to make sure there were "good" towels for her in the downstairs bathroom.

My mom to me: "When you go downstairs, will you make sure the good towels are out for Marcy?"

Me to my mom: "Why do I have to do everything around here?"

Robin to my mom: "You don't put out nice towels for me."

My mom to Robin: "You're family."

Robin to my mom: "Take that back right now!"

Me to my mom: "Don't you EVER speak to her that way."

Ahhhhh.....dysFUNction!

If we weren't both jobless, this note would have been better than finding cash.

Disappointing Day.



I woke up to the following email:

Kim.

It was a pleasure meeting you.  Thank you for your interest in the Firm.
After a long deliberation we have decided to go with someone else for the
position.  With your experience I am certain you will find work very soon.
You interview well and your resume speaks to your accomplishments.  I wish
you luck and thanks again for your time.

Regards,

Jeff

------------------------------------------

Great. Although I have continually applied for other jobs while waiting to hear back from that one, I felt pretty good about being hired there.  On the other hand, look at the period after Kim.  Should be a comma or a colon.  The guy's clearly an idiot. 

(S.O.U.R.  G.R.A.P.E.S. ?????)

Back to Square One.

Then I decided to make a recipe from a restaurant we went to a couple years ago. Can't recall the name of the restaurant, but we ordered "Beach Bread". This is not "Bubble Beead". Do not confuse the two. They're equally delicious. Actually, that's not true. "Bubble Bread" wins. "Bubble Bread" is very cheesy and "Beach Bread" is more like a bruschetta.  So I just made a low fat version of "Beach Bread". It sucked. Sure I used no calorie squirt butter instead of butter butter. And I used "Laughing Cow Cheese" instead of crumbled blue cheese. It tasted like tomatoes on bread. Another disappointment.

I've applied for about a dozen jobs today. Same with Robin. Feel the need to do something constructive, but I don't know what. Have super bad cramps and a lousy attitude. Period was only a week late this month. TMI, I know, but I don't care. Lousy attitude, remember? Robin keeps leaving "menopause" stickies around the house. Guess she forgot she's the one who's 50.

Hate this feeling of not knowing what to do with myself.  I should hit the treadmill.  Or maybe walk on it.  But right now I'm thinking nap.  It's cold, dark and rainy.  Kinda like the way I'm feeling.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Home Sweet Home!

We spent a few days at Ormond by the Sea, FL visiting my folks and are now safely and soundly back home in the mountains.  (That feels very odd to say.  It also felt odd to go north on I-95 rather than south when we left.)  We decided to visit now because sooner or later we are bound to be employed, and it will be a long time before we can travel 500 miles again.  Plus, most of the jobs for which we're applying are online, so we didn't feel (too) guilty going. 

Had a few great days hanging out with family and seeing old friends.  Spent lots of time at the beach (duh) and junking with the peeps.   Robin's already put all of our treasures out and about in their new mountain home.  Everything seems to be adapting to the altitude well.

My mother is totally obsessed with decorating for Christmas and cannot refuse a good bargain.  Nelson has forbidden her to buy any more Santas.  Without him knowing (he sat this particular sale out) she bought a boxload of Santa's who sang and danced.  She hid them under other things that we'd gotten and told us we'd have to help her smuggle them into the house so he wouldn't see.  We assumed they were battery operated.  They were motion controlled.  Every time we hit a bump while driving, they all began singing.  At first it was hilarious, but after a half an hour of a bunch of mental singing Santa's, Robin wanted her to pull over so she could stomp on Santas' little necks.  I'm pretty sure Nelson wanted to snap Kay's little neck.   

My parents had obligations while we were there.  Very serious ~ cannot be broken ~ obligations.  "Lunch Bunch" with the neighbors.  Friday night dinner with the gang.  A surprise birthday party for a friend.  They insisted on feeding us before they went out.  I gently reminded them that, um, Robin is 50 and I will soon be 30-16, and we do know our way around a kitchen.  No can do.  So on Thursday AFTERNOON, around 4:30, we sat there eating steaks that Nelson had made.  Didn't know if I felt like I was 8 (eating dinner before the parents go out for dinner) or 80 (eating dinner at 4:30).   Great steak, BTW, thanks Nelson!

My mom has declared Saturdays "Kay Day".  This is a day in which Kay doesn't do anything Kay doesn't want to do.  It usually means garage saling, lunch out and take out for dinner.  Not sure how she pulled it off, but it seems to me, last Friday AND Saturday were Kay Days.  It's OK though.  I did manage some Kim Time in there.  I do enjoy junking a lot, but also feel very anxious when it's beautiful out and I should be on the beach.  She promised me to be home by noon both days.  Never made it to the beach on Friday and got there around 2:00 on Saturday.  It was OK.  Wouldn't trade seeing David and Sandy and Rudy for two more hours on the beach.

On Saturday afternoon, Janice and Shelly drove down from Jacksonville.  They got a room down the street, met us at the beach and came back to my mom's for a cookout.  We bored Robin to death, drinking (she doesn't drink) and reminiscing about old times.   My mom was a good sport and insisted on driving the girls to their hotel.  I picked them up on Sunday, brought them to their car, and they slithered out of town at 8:00 a.m.  Shelly had a first date on Sunday that I am still waiting to hear about.

Sunday was Kyle's birthday.  38 years old.  I remember vividly the day he was born.  Grampa Rooty Toot picked me up at the Methodist Church after my tap dancing class.  Told me I had a little brother. I asked what was for dinner.  Just kidding, Kyle.  I love you.  Even though you don't read my blog.

Family friend, Cathy, brought over brunch and a present for Kyle on Sunday.  Also gave him a scratch off.  He won $500.00 on his birthday!!!  We were so happy for him!  AND he has a new gal pal in his life who we really like a lot.  Kyle's is a good place right now.

Spent quality time with Jason and Chelsea.  Chelsea's a great fit for Jason and fits in well with this crazy family.  Not saying she's crazy.  Just fits well with crazy.  She's adorable and they're a really cute couple.

The entire family, including the girlfriends and Kyle's daughter, went out for dinner on Kyle's birthday.  That hasn't happened in forever.  It was well worth the extra day to make him feel so special.

We took Brady (yellow lab) with us because he and his cousin, Buddah, get along so well.  Brady takes on the alpha role which is very interesting because around here, he's low man on the totem pole. 

Unbeknownst to me, Robin and Iris were very concerned that taking me to FL might be a big mistake.  That I would become homesick and not want to leave.  It is true that I do worship the sun and love the beach more than words can describe, but I feel good having had my fix.  A few days every so often is really all I need.  Plus it's spring time here and that's pretty special too.  Half of our front yard is covered in pink and purple flowers that we had nothing to do with and it's really gorgeous.

I do miss the beach sometimes but all I have to do is remind myself that I now enjoy all four seasons.  I really appreciate that.  And these mountains aren't too bad on the eyes either.



 


Monday, March 21, 2011

Tom Petty was right.

I really don't have to live like a refugee.

Just kidding.  He was right about the waiting is the hardest part.  Had my promising job interview at the law firm on Thursday.  Followed up with a 'thank you' email the same day.  Held my breath all day Friday.  Made it through the weekend and called him this morning.  They haven't made a decision yet, but he did say, "You're definitely in the running."  They have a few more interviews and it may not be until next week when I hear from them.  They'll call either way, which is nice.

Meanwhile, I am still applying for possible jobs.  Just applied at an animal hospital.  I think I'd love that until a really sick cat or dog came in.  Wonder if I could request the customers who bring in their pets for shots and flea control?  Will add that to my next cover letter.  "I really love all animals, but think I would do exceptionally well with the ones who aren't really sick.  They'd make me sad.  I perform best when I'm not sad.  Thanks!"

Craiglist makes it so easy to apply for work.  We can literally send out 50 resumes a day.  The downfall is that all the jobs are not on the up and up.  Robin and I must have applied for the same job.  Some type of administrative assistant position.  We both received the same response, which essentially advised that our job duties would be to mail stuff for him.  And we were specifically instructed not to ask what the stuff was that we'd be mailing.   I declined.  Robin is probably waiting to hear back.  I think the response said something like "wear something sexy when we meet".  Again, she's probably waiting.

If I don't find something soon, maybe I actually will have to live like a refugee. 

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Another productive Sunday.

In our own defense, there is really not much to do around the house today.  We had company last night and the house is pretty much still clean.  Kinda.   Getting caught up on laundry and am going to make something good for dinner.  Pork with mushroom bechamel sauce.

I also did the treadmill which necessarily means that I watched some type of "Sex and the City".  Have both movies and the box set.  I cannot do the treadmill without the girls.

Later, while channel surfing, we found "The Break Up" with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn.  Couldn't help thinking that, although Sarah Jessica Parker is the one and only Carrie Bradshaw, Jennifer would have done a good job too.

"The Break Up" ended and "Sex and the City I" came on.  Couldn't believe it when I heard the music.  Robin rolled her eyes, but it's on right now.  I can quote the entire movie and she teases me, but the truth is, she can do her share of quoting too.  Sure, hers aren't perfect like mine, but she gets the gist of most of the quotes.

I just paused the movie and said, "We need to have a conversation".  Deer in the headlights look.  "OK."  Love scaring her like that.

Told her my thought on Jennifer being Carrie, and asked who else would play the other girls, starting with Charlotte.  She suggested Ashley Judd - very nice!!!  Very very pretty and prissy.  I suggested Cameron Diaz for Samantha.  We're stuck on Miranda.  She suggested Ellen, but that's too obvious and plus Ellen is not an actress.  Any thoughts?

And for Big? 

Duh.

George Clooney.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Please........

Help!   Robin was on the phone so I delayed "Idol".  I'm now stuck on an info-mercial, "Country's Got Heart".  Why do I know so many words to these songs?????   Could it be a faded rose from days gone byyyyy?   Hey!  Did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world?  And when we get behind closed doors.....I was lookin for love in all the wrong places.  Take a ribbon from my hair.

I need a contryvention asap.  (Now THAT could be a song.).

It's over.  Breathe.

Love my facial expressions!! What a $%^&#!!!


While I was looking for pictures of Ingrid for my last post, I noticed a little bit of a pattern when it comes to me watching Ingrid and Robin pose for pictures.

And this is why she's been my BFF for 40 years...

Between liver news and interviews, I haven't had anything funny to write about this week.

Until this morning.

The picture above is of Ingrid and Butch at Robin's 50th birthday party.  They drove all the way from Upstate NY to surprise us.  Great friends.

I had posted on Facebook earlier this week that I had a job interview this Thursday (today) at a law firm in Asheville.  Got many well wishes and good lucks - thank you.

Got up at 6:30 and received the following private message via FB:

From Ingrid at 6:31 a.m.  "I am laying in bed, Butch yells up the stairs, "Ing.  I'm getting in the shower.  Kim has an interview today.  You should get on (the internet) and wish her good luck from us."  I replied, "You are a woman.  Go wash your vag."

Before I blogged about this, I made sure it was OK with her.  She asked if it was too crass.

Too crass?  TOO CRASS?

Ing?          You can pose all you want in your pointy high heels and lil Jackie O-esque jacket, but anyone who knows you knows that worrying about being too crass isn't exactly one of your priorities.

BFF's for the next 40???

Thursday, March 10, 2011

You can take the girl out of the city ...

Even before we moved here, I was concerned about how Robin and her, uh, "demeanor" would do in NC.  She is very quick witted and has a sharp tongue.  People here aren't used to people like her.

We recently heard about this great breakfast place.  Good food and great prices.  Went there this morning and were not disappointed.  Robin ordered the Number Three.  Two eggs, bacon or sausage, grits or hashbrowns, toast or bisquit.  Comes with a side of gravy.

Robin asked the waitress, "A side of what?"

Waitress:  "Gravy?"

Robin:  "What the hell am I supposed to do with that?"

The waitress was thoroughly confused.  She shifted her weight, looked at me, scratched her head, squinted a little, then looked at Robin like she had two heads.  "Weelllll.  You could put it on a bisquit, or your toast, or your eggs or your hasbrowns, ma'am"

Robin:  "Hold the gravy.  That's disgusting."

I read the waitress' mind, "I can think of another place you could put it.  Ma'am."

They say you should always overtip breakfast waitresses.  Good rule to live by, especially when Robin's with you, and you have every intention of eating there again.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Yesterday's Interview

The interview was at 6:30.  It was just getting dark in Asheville and maybe that added to the creepiness of the whole thing, but probably not.  It was a very awkward and uncomfortable interview.  The worst one I can recall.

The doctor and his wife were finishing up with another interviewee while I waited in the waiting room.  The lady sounded good.  Bright.  Articulate.  Engaging.  Crap - how am I supposed to compete with that?

Then she walked out.   She very much resembed androgynous Pat from SNL, except that she was clearly a she (I'm guessing).  The kilt and the beret gave it away.  Now that I think of it, men do wear kilts and berets.  Now I'm not sure what to think.

The doctor came out and got me.  We shook hands and he had one of those intense stares.  Felt like lightening rods were flying out of his eyes into mine.  Thought that it was just upon the initial hello, but he held that look the entire time.  He resembled an unattractive Jay Leno (not that I find Jay Leno attractive, at all, but this guy was like Leno meets the wall) and was so soft spoken, I could barely hear him.  He held his head with his chin close to his chest and those scary friggen eyes and their death grip just kept staring up.  Ew.

He did not ask me one question.  He told me about the practice.  He started it a year ago and now has six other doctors working with him.  They all have other jobs, too.  I was really listening hard, in case he asked me a question, but he lost me somewhere between, "Most days, you will have nothing to do" and "The others come and go all day, so mainly it will be you and I here alone" and something about wires being attached to kids' heads while they play video games and they're being treated without knowing it. 

Oh wait.  He did ask me a question.  Would I be willing to assist with wiring up the patients?

Good luck, Pat.  Ima gonna pass.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

I couldn't resist!

We just got home from doing a dry run for my interview on Tuesday.  It's in Asheville, in the proximity of the Biltmore Estate, a 45 minute drive.  The interview is for a receptionist in a mental health facility.  Kinda afraid of getting there and having the cast of "Intervention" and my family there to greet me.  They're coming to take me away.  Ho ho. Hee hee.  Ha ha.

I haven't had my nails (acrylics) for a number of months.  Was very hard to keep them nice while cashiering.  I am very self conscience about my fingers without my nails.  Two words sum them up nicely - Jimmy Dean.  On the other hand (pun totally intended), my real nails are now actually doing nicely.   Regardless, I would like my old real hands back - with the fake nails.  Especially while I'm interviewing. 

On our outing today, I announced to Robin that I have two Harris Teeter checks to pick up on Tuesday.  Out of the clear blue sky she said, "You're not getting your nails done."

What the.....?????

That's exactly what I was going to tell her!  That my interview is Tuesday night and that I was thinking about getting my nails done Tuesday during the day.  My interview would go a lot more smoothly if I had my fake nails.  More confidence. How on earth could she possibly know that that's where I was headed?   All I said was that I'll have two HT checks on Tuesday.  Kept asking her how'd she know that?  Kept getting the "I know you" response.

Got home and I went to the bottom of the driveway to get the mail and recyclable bins.  Couldn't do it yesterday because it poured all day.  Been doing the treadmill (3 for 3) and have shin splints.  Walking down the driveway - OUCH!  Walking up was actually better.

Robin stood there and watched me go down and back up the driveway.   She's paranoid that I'm gonna fall and break my leg in two places.  Uh?  No, that's you, remember?

Once at the top of the driveway, I leafed through the mail and Robin went inside.  Junk, junk, bill, bill.  Then I saw it!   The thick letter from AARP with big red letters on the envelope, "Your AARP card is inside!"

Got inside and told Robin she'd gotten a card in the mail. 

"Who's it from?"

"Dunno."

"Like a belated birthday card or a credit card?"

"Dunno."

"Well give it to me."

"Here you go, Sweetness."

She slammed it down and is now pouting watching reruns on Bravo.

Aww.

Anywho...Time for me to go make that nail appointment.  Pink or red?  Pink or red?  Guess it'll depend on what I plan on wearing.  Pink it is!!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Take this job and....well, you know.

I quit my < dream job this week.

Remember when the elderly lady got mugged and beaten up upon returning to the store to pick up the cash I'd forgotten to give her?  Well, "CORPORATE" has made my life a living hell ever since then.  It's not the store level, it's the people at the home office.

Everybody makes mistakes, but I have been written up, put on isolation, strict observation and every other bad thing this store has to offer.   I finally had had enough and told Delores that I'm just not made to be a cashier. 

D:  "What do you mean?"

Me:  "What do you mean what do I mean?"

D:  "Are you sure?"  She asked me that about 20 times.

Me:  "Positive."

The truth was, I wasn't positive.  I am fully aware of how scary it is out there, but quite honestly, the pay I was bringing home was slightly more than $100.00 a week.  It used to be more, but I recently qualified for health insurance and that took a big chunk. 

I wrote the following the day after it happened.  I'm glad I did because when I sit here second guessing my decision, this reinforces me that I did the right thing. 

DEGRADED:



I have felt degraded many many times over the past couple years.


Or so I thought.


I have felt humiliated, stupid, sad, disappointed, pissed off, extremely pissed off, idiotic, pathetic, scared, inept, mad for feeling inept…the list could go on forever if I had the energy to dig out my thesaurus.


But I never experienced the feeling of truly degraded until yesterday.


I have had a nasty cold for going on two weeks. Day before yesterday, I purposely did not take my high blood pressure medication because I bought a bottle of Nyquil. The plan was to knock myself out and to wake up feeling better.


Woke up yesterday and got ready for work. I didn’t take a swig of Nyquil, but it was still heavily in my system. I had last hit the bottle at around 3:00 a.m. Not thinking, I took a BP pill and went to work. About an hour into cashiering, I began to feel very very out of it. I was going through the motions, but wasn’t able to comprehend what I was actually doing. It was almost as if I was watching myself from afar. I am slightly familiar with the feeling of intoxication, but this was nothing like that. It was scary.


I told Delores about it and she blew me off.


It was only a six hour shift for me and all I had to do was not make a mistake. I wasn’t chatty with the customers. I didn’t smile. All I had to do was make correct change. Please God, don’t let me make a mistake. I was recently on “strict observation” for 30 days. Yeah, I’d been taken off, but we all knew I was still on thin ice.


A lady and her teenage son came through my line. I tried not to listen to their conversation, but I couldn’t help it. The boy was trying to convince her that he could prove himself responsible. She was icy. He must have really screwed up. I reeled myself back in and focused on my job. Then I told her the amount of the bill. $100 and something. She paid with what she had on her food stamps card. The rest was paid by debit. I messed up by hitting the “cash” rather than “EFT” (electronic funds transfer, for those of you fortunate enough to not have actually run a register). I knew what I’d done and asked the lady to hold on a second. Went to the only customer service rep available, who happens to be the least friendly and least helpful. Said there’s nothing we can do. I asked about voiding the whole thing. She took it to the nicest, yet laziest manager. Nothing we can do. So I knew my drawer was going to be $65.56 short. Not good.


Within a half an hour, Delores needed to see me. There is a room at the front of the store slightly bigger than a closet. Big window. We went in there and she asked me to explain. I was still buzzed beyond belief and wondered if this was a dream. Here I am, in my Harris Teeter uniform with my shirt tucked in, fat exposed, sick as a dog and higher than a kite, trying to explain that I merely hit the wrong button. Bottom line – my drawer is short.


Then came the definition of degraded. I started crying. Snot bubbles were flying out of my nose. I asked her to just fire me. She doesn’t want to fire me, but must write me up.


Did I mention this job pays $8.00 an hour?


I was in the front of the store, shirt tucked in, crying with snot bubbles over a job that pays eight bucks an hour?


I was a mess when I got home and woke up upset this morning. Not crying upset. Upset that I have allowed this crap ass job get to me. I’ve sent out resumes all day. Something’s gotta give.



I'm glad I have this to remember that awful feeling.  Sadly, the truth is, I quit before they fired me.  It would have just been a matter of time.  The more trouble I was is in, the more nervous I became, and subsequently, the more mistakes I made. 

So I am back at Square One.  If I do have to take another cashiering job before something real comes along, at least I won't have the liability stigma (translated = do what you need to do to run this woman out of there) attached to me.  AND, chances are I will not ever be a shirt tucker against my will again.  I've been paying attention - most places don't have a tuck in policy.

BTW, if anyone who reads this thinks that I think I'm above being a cashier, I totally do NOT.  I actually liked the job.  Just hated the pay and the way I was singled out for every single thing.  IE:  "Kim, you need to get people through the line in less than a minute."  Or, "Kim.  You're supposed to use the scanner on the dog food."  This was a good one, "Kim.  You're too nice to the couponers."    My favorite,  "What was this void from three weeks ago for?"

I have recieved feedback from friends and family over my quitting.   Positive and negative.  I feel both sides, trust me.  But the overall feeling is more positive than negative.

And, as fate would have it, I have had something for sale on Ebay for months.  IT SOLD THE NIGHT I QUIT!!!!  Talk about divine intervention!!!!!  The proceeds will carry me for a long time.

My current focus is obviously set on finding another job.  But I also want to be very diligent in doing the treadmill and eating right.  I also want to aggressively pursue my passion for writing.  Have been spending lots of time applying for jobs online, as well as sending out queries.  If nothing else, this job did provide a lot of fodder.  I am a firm believer of everything happening for a reason.

As far as me shopping at HT?  Totally cool with it.  Although Delores probably had to scramble to rearrange the schedule, she made me promise not to be a stranger.  Told her I still want to shop there (great sales).  Her words, "Giiirllllll.  You better or Ima hunt you down."

We almost hugged it out, but not quite.