I am one step closer to going to hell.

So Robin and Iris were just having their nightly conversation that is just slightly less fascinating than my own mother's and my morning conversations. 

Their chats  go something like this:   "How was your day?  How was the weather?  How's Kim?  How are the babies?  What's for dinner?  What's on TV tonight?"

The last question is where tonight's conversation got interesting.  Interesting for this group, anyway.  I guess Barbara Walters is having a show about new age cosmetic surgery.  I was playing on my Kindle Fire, not really paying atttention,  and all of a sudden, Robin, while still on the phone, asked me, "Do you think my mother needs a facelift?"

Me:  Without hesitation.  "Absolutely not."  And she doesn't.  I'm not trying to CMA in case she ever gets a computer and reads this stuff, but she honestly looks a good 25 years younger than she is.

 

Then Iris started listing procedures she's considered and told them to Robin. 

Robin:  "What about a boob job?"

Me:  "Nope."

Robin:  "Butt lift."

Me:  Slight consideration. "No.  No way.  Your mom has a nice ass."

Robin:  "Vaginal rejuvenation?"

Me:  NO hesitation.  "Absolutely."

I normally don't have any trouble falling asleep.

And I chalk it up to my good clean living.  (HA!)  But last night I couldn't fall asleep.  I tried singing songs in my head, counting sheep, etc.  But I just couldn't shut my brain down.  It's like channel surfing in there at a rate of 100 miles per hour.  Got up, took a hot shower to relax.  Nothing.  I was tired, but just couldn't fall asleep.  So annoying.

So I decided to try some of the meditation tools I've picked up from Robin.  I laid (lied? not sure, so going with laid) there completely still.  I felt the comfort of the bed, the warmth of the covers and the cool breeze blowing across my face.  (We leave the windows cracked, even when it's freezing.)  I was beginning to relax.  Breathed in.  Breathed out.  Aware of every breath.  I felt myself giving in.  Then I started flexing and constricting everything I could, starting from the bottom to the top.  Cracked bones, flexed muscles, stretched what I could.  Felt the tension leaving my body. Made it up to my shoulders, then my neck, then my jaw.  Everything was relaxed and I felt myself drifting off. 

But then it all stopped.  I was to the top of my head and there was nothing to crack or stretch and flex.  Quite the opposite.  I felt like I had a two inch cement helmet on.  Nothing could be released. It was definitely holding me down and keeping me awake.  Get off!  Then I felt pain.  Damn you tension, exit.  Exit at once.

Instinctively,  I put my hand on my head.

My hairclip was too tight.  Took it out,  placed it on the bedstand and fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.      

I know, I know...

If you're a FB friend, or worse yet, someone who I actually speak with, you're likely sick of my obsession with this picture.  But there are some of you who haven't heard this yet.  Plus, this blog is not gonna be all about the picture.

This is my Buddy who we had to put down two weeks ago tomorrow.  This was taken just a couple days before he died.  He's on two beds because we'd just gotten him the green one so I could wash the blue one.  He liked them both.  Ever since he died, there had been a thought that kept going through my mind.  I am not in the habit of seeking spiritual advice from Anna Nicole Smith, however when her son died, I remember her fearing that he was "stuck" between earth and heaven.  She searched for signs that he made it to heaven.  This is how I felt about Buddy.  I didn't feel that way about Spanky (cocker spaniel) or Bailey (chocolate lab).  But there was just something so special about Buddy - like he made it halfway there, but because we were so sad, he stopped.  I have been longing for signs that he made it to heaven to be with Bailey and Spanky.  He came after Spanky died, so I especially wanted to be sure he was with Bailey.  This picture is my screen saver and I glanced at it last night during the Superbowl and it jumped out at me.  If you look at his torso, you can see what exactly a lab's head looks like.  From the top of her head to the snout.  You can even see the right ear.  It freaks me out in a beautiful sign from God way.  Now I really do believe in the Rainbow Bridge!

Nuff about that.  I am still unemployed.  I applied for a really great sounding job with the Dept. of Social Services toward the end of December.  Was chosen to take a test.  Those who scored highest went further in the process.  Took the test that was about 90% math.  I like math and have always been good at it.  (Was convinced I was a mathematical wizard in college.  Then I hit the wall.)  Taking the test, I was thinking how hard it was.  It was really tough!  Thought that if Robin had to take it, she'd run out the door crying.  But I finished it, double checked everything and felt confident that I'd done well.  So well, that I thought I'd aced it.  Told Robin that I didn't mean to brag, but I was sure I'd gotten a 100%.  Would be notified by letter on whether or not I'd passed.  80% was passing.  This was gonna be great!  It was during the holidays and I'd have a brand new wonderful job waiting for me after the beginning of the new year!  2012 was gonna be my year!  Out with the old, in with the new!!!.

Two days later, I got the letter from DSS.    I got a 73%.  After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I called the lady.  I asked if there is any way that there could have been a mistake, because I was positive that I had nailed it.  She was nice enough to pull my file and went over the test with me.  I missed the first three questions, all having to do with types of benefits people receive.  These were non-math related questions and the answers were like "food stamps", "Medicaid", etc.  I answered yes or no.  Each question was worth nine points.  But I got all the hard math answers correct.  Bottom line - I can do math, I just can't read.  Have to wait three months before I can test again.

We're - scratch that - I'm doing Meatless Mondays again.  It's one resolution that I have kept.  Gives me an excuse to eat fried cheese for lunch.

Got ambitious last night and wrote out a TO DO list for today.  In big letters across the top, it says "MONDAY 02.06.12".    Today, feeling less focused, I added above today's date "WEEK OF".  Gives me some wiggle room.

I am totally addicted to "Words with Friends".  It's pretty much what I do.  There's one (maybe two) people who I haven't beaten and that's because they cheat.  You know who you are. 

Robin's good.  Pulled her annual beginning of the year gotta have an injury crap.  Two years ago, a broken hand, last year a broken leg.  This year, emergency two teeth removed.  We just enjoyed a fun percocet filled weekend. 

That pretty much catches me up since I last blogged.  Would love to write more often, but when one plays WWF 10 hours a day, what's there to write about?  Maybe I'll start making stuff up.  How sad.  

Oh!  Look for me on "ELLEN".  Sent her the picture of Buddy with a what I considered cute email and it's just a matter of time before she calls me.  God, I hope she doesn't send that girl, Jeannie or Jenny or Dina, or whatever her name is, here.  She makes me nervous to watch.   

PS:  If for whatever reason, blindness or closed mindedness, you cannot see the lab in Buddy, click on the picture to make it bigger.  Let me know what you think.

Back to WWF.