That fill in the blank can be anything from "take out the trash" to "spend all of Saturday at my mother's house" to "crave Chinese for dinner" (again). ETC. Sometimes the blanks are serious, like "never speak of this again" to silly like "stick a cigarette in your ear and let me light it".
Or in my case, it could be, "GET THE EFFING WART FROM THE DOG OFF MY FOOT NNNNOOOOWWWW." Robin just went to take a little power nap and all of a sudden I heard screeching. Not blood curdling though. More like, well, she'd seen what appeared to be a wart from the dog between the sheets.
Bodi, our girl dog, has had a little wart like thing dangling from her front left elbow since she was born. Vets said it wasn't anything to worry about. I always figured that one day I would have it removed because she felt self conscious about it. That day hasn't come yet and I noticed that she'd been gnawing at it lately. We've had friends suggest we tie a string around it to cut off the blood supply and it would fall off. One friend even offered to do it (her brother had done it to himself, afterall) and we declined. Seemed so - barbaric.
So I was happy to just let nature take it's course to see if Bodi would chew it off herself.
Well, the thing did get smaller and smaller and I thought she just kinda drained it. Looked healthy enough for a deflated wart and I assumed all's well that ends well.
Until today. When Robin screeched. I ran in there and asked what the issue was. She'd thrown down the sheet and demanded, "WHAT'S THAT?" Clearly, I had no idea and said, "Doo doo?" Worth a shot. Robin went on to tell me that it's MY dog's effing wart and I needed to remove it at once. Not having my glasses on and assuming she knew what she was talking about, I put my hands over my mouth, threw up a little, backed up and said over and over, "I can't." She then reminded me of all the gross things she has retrieved, disposed of, wiped up, handled - blah blah blah - and I finally said, "FINE!!!!! Lemme go get my glasses." Came back, not without giving poor Bodi a filthy, "I've now gotta go in there and pick up YOUR wart, Prima Donna. Couldn't you have for once just acted like a dog and just eaten the damned thing??" look and walked toward the bed armed with paper towels, Chlorox Cleanup and Walmart bags. Got closer and closer and then I realized - it was merely a dried up jalapeno pepper. Picked it up and pretended to lick it and walked away.
Who was throwing up a little now?
You may be wondering why we had a jalapeno pepper in our bed. Not the point. My point is, I love Robin enough to pick up a would be dog wart. That's a beautiful line - may have to incorporate it in to our wedding vows - "I, Kim, love you, Robin, enough " ... you know the rest.
