DIY

Robin has been on a "do it yourself" kick.  A few weeks ago, it was the kitty litter, ginger ale and laundry detergent.  Then came the homemade dulcimer.   When I saw the printed out "how to make pickles" instructions on the table, I knew what was next.

Yesterday we went to a farmers' market.  I got what I wanted and she got what she wanted.  Didn't really pay attention.  She put it all away when we got home, so I didn't know what she had picked up. 

My mom, brother and niece are on their way here for a few days.  Very excited!  My brother has a special way of communicating, usually by yelling.  His daughter is 15 and acts exactly like him.  Just hung up with my mom and they (brother and niece) were screaming at each other over where his toothbrush was.  This is gonna be fun.  Anywho ~ sent Robin to the store this morning.  This was when she announced that she is going to make homemade pickles. 

She stuck with the list I'd given her and when she got home, she yelled a four letter expletive beginning with F .  "I forgot my pickling spices."  And off she went.

She came back and started doing her thing.  She sterilized her canning jars, made the pickle mix, boiled some stuff and began chopping what she thought was a cucumber that she'd gotten yesterday. 

Too bad it was a zuchinni.

Again with the "F" and off she went.  This time for cucumbers.

 

PS:  As I was typing this, my mom called from the road.  "Wild Thing" by Funky Cold Medina was blasting in the background and my brother and niece were fighting over "Cool Ranch Doritos".  Gonna be a looooong drive for my mother.  She doesn't usually drink, but I have a feeling that somebody's gonna need a cocktail when she gets here. 

I've been in the mountains too long.

We moved up here one year ago this week.  I have been a good sport through the corn maze, the endless trips to the cider mill, the freezing temperatures in the winter, Robin's broken leg, the Coon Dog festival, and let's not forget my employment fiascos. Don't even get me started on Iris and Joe.

But I think it's time to GO.

I am not employed right now (duh) and naturally money is tight.  We're managing, but there's not a lot of wiggle room.

I overheard Robin tell one of our friends a few weeks ago that she was going to buy a dulcimer.  Didn't know what she was talking about and didn't really care.  Figured she was BS'ing. 

Then it came up again.  I googled it and thought she'd officially lost her mind.  Why in the HELL would she want one of these?  Her mother is always telling me what a talent she is on the piano, but have I ever heard her play?  No.  She refuses.

Come to find out, Robin has been in search of a hobby.  I guess she's read every book in the H'ville library and now wishes to express her musical side.  When we accidentally wound up at a store called "Song of the Wood" last weekend, I went BAAAA-listic. 

She assured me that her mother was going to reimburse her because she wanted her to have a hobby so she'd stay off the streets. Didn't believe her and was pissed all weekend. Iris did come through on Monday, but I didn't know she would and was stressed out all weekend. Anywho, she wasn't just buying this totally unnecessary and frivalous mountain instrument, she was buying a KIT! She has been working on the thing all week. My dining room looks like my grandfather's old work shop. By the way, we happen to have a very nice work bench IN THE GARAGE.

She's almost done with it and now the real joy shall begin...Robin teaching herself to play. In case she really does have musical talent, I gingerly asked the sales lady at "Song of the Wood", "If she can play the piano, will that help her learn this quickly?". Got a quick, "No".

So, yeah, it may be time for me to hit the road. Or Robin.

When someone has over stayed their welcome?

UNLEASH THE DOGS!  FIVE OF THEM!

Joe (you know Joe ~ Iris and Joe?) has a son in town.   Got here yesterday from Florida.    It's not clear as to whether or not he's allowed to leave the state  of Florida.  Legal issues.  Iris so did not want him to come and it's been a stressful few weeks for Iris and Joe.  Every time I talk to Iris she tells me to get the guest room ready.  For her, not the son.

The son wants to move here with his girlfriend even though neither of them has ever been here before.  He keeps mentioning our basement to Iris and Joe and I am holding my breath waiting for him to ask to stay here.  When the "HELL NO" resonates around the world, you'll know he asked.

He's two years older then Robin.  Iris and Joe got married when Robin was around 14, so they all lived together for a few years.  I had never met him.  Robin described him as good looking, charming, and a con-artist.  Even Joe says if he's talking, he's lying.  We were in their neighborhood yesterday and Robin suggested we stop by and say hello.  So I got to meet him and he's exactly what I had imagined.  We stayed about five minutes and as we were getting in the car, he took Robin aside.  He wanted her phone number.

At around 7:00 last night her phone rang.  Having stayed with Iris and Joe for two weeks last summer while we were looking for a place to live, I knew it would be a matter of time before he would be calling to come over.  Just didn't know it would be his first night in town.  He asked to come over to talk about the area.  Robin tried to avoid it by saying that she was going to bed early, but in typical con-artist fashion, he convinced her that he wouldn't stay long. 

We straightened up and situated the dogs.  By situated, I mean we put them all in separate rooms except for Buddy.  If he was coming over to discuss the  area and wasn't going to stay long, I figured the craziness that is our dogs would be better saved for another time.

Gave him the tour.  I practically peed in the basement to mark my territory.  Said things like "sanctuary" and "my space".  Pretty confident I got my point across.

We came upstairs and instead of sitting on the couch or a chair in the living room, he immediately set up his computer on the dining table and got his girlfriend on speaker phone.  (It's important to note (and good to know!!) that even though Joe's other son gave them a laptop, they don't have internet.)  Together they went through every rental property in Western North Carolina.  We tried to chime in with things like "too redneck" or "three hours away".   They didn't appreciate our input.  Did I mention it was "Big Brother" night?  We couldn't have the TV loudly enough to even hear it.  We normally wouldn't have it on with company, but we were being totally ignored, so what were we supposed to do? 

Finally at 11:00, feeling used and taken advantage of, I'd had enough.  Mentioned that I needed to let the dogs out, but again, I wasn't heard.  Buddy spends most of his time on the couch these days, so he was mellow the whole time.  But not the rest of them!  Once I opened those doors, they all came barreling out.  His girlfriend asked, "What is that noise?"  He replied, "About 200 pounds worth of dogs!"  I told him it was actually about 280 pounds worth of dogs.

He was gone within 10 minutes.

This was very effective, but it reminds me of when I was a kid and my parents had people over.  At a certain point, my dad would say, "Kay?  What do you say we go to bed so these nice people can go home?".

Also very effective.

Seriously. When did I get so old?

I rarely think about age, mine or anyone else's.  Sure Robin turned 50 this year and I teased her and my mom turned 70 and I teased her, but other than that, what difference does it really make?

If you're a Face Book friend of mine, you know I had a job interview at a local law firm today.  I think the interview went well, but he really had a poker face and I don't know for sure.  He was a character right out of a John Grisham novel.  Somber, slow speaking, Southern, "older" attorney.  I researched the firm before the interview to get a feel of who they are.  Established in the early 1900's - nice!   Seven attorneys, six of whom are older than me - good!  Three minutes from home - excellent!  (BTW ~ I will never mention the firm's name.  He told me that he was sure he didn't need to lecture me about the importance of confidentiality, but that if I get the job and happen to breach that, that I will be shot.  He also told me that my job description would be to "do whatever the hell it takes to get the job done".)

I think another adjective may be "curmudgeonly".

Came home and googled them again.  Wanted to see how old my potential future ex boss is.  Born in 1954.  He's only 11 years old than me.  That doesn't seem that old.  That makes him 57.  WHEN, I ask you, WHEN did it happen in my life that 57 isn't that old?  It seems like just yesterday 45 was old and I'm beyond that now.  Seems like I went from 26 to 46 overnight.    Where has the time gone?

I had another thought this morning about the whole interviewing process.  This is what going on a blind date must feel like.  I really am interested in this job, so I went all out.  Heels, skirt, blouse, hair, extra mascara.  Just like if I were going out on a date with someone with great potential.  I have another interview tomorrow with a job far less appealing.  I'm going because I feel like I need to.  It's some kind of bookkeeping job at a paper plant.  Glamorous, huh?  Hey, it's gotta be better than Harris Teeter.  And no boss will ever be as horrid as the owner of the pet place.  But because my heart already belongs to the cranky "old" man, I am not excited or nervous.  Black pants and some top that I'll decide on tomorrow, hair probably up.  I will do extra mascara because, well, I always do.

I feel like I've been in employment hell here in North Cackalacki and, just like I say about not having to date and being in a long term secure relationship, I am looking forward to the day when I can say, "I'm so glad I'm not "out there"".  

Would you look at the time?  Time for dinner!

One of the cats tried to have his way with me today.

My neck is still hurting so I had Robin put "ActivOn" on it.  Doesn't really help, but it does heat the area up a little, so I guess that makes it feel slightly better.  Went to lie down and Taliban (I had nothing to do with that name, thanks, cat was here first) went NUTS.  Kneading my back and purring the whole time, he was licking my neck and shoulders!  At first I wondered WTH had gotten into him, then it dawned on me that I had medicine on my neck.  Tried to get him away from me and he clawed and held on to my shirt.  Feeling quite violated, I yelled for Robin.  She came to the rescue and soon became a victim herself.  He hissed at her, scratched her arm and came back for some  more of me.  Finally was able to break away and felt the need to shower.

That was probably the highlight of the day so far.  We bought ingredients for chili yesterday and in a weak moment, I suggested to Robin that we have Iris and Joe over for chili tomorrow.   Before I even had the sentence out of my mouth, Robin was on the phone and Iris was saying yes.  Now I have to make two pots of chili.  One for Joe and one for the rest of us.  He can't handle spicy.  If Iris read this, she'd say, "He can handle me."

Robin has a dew rag on.  Well, it's not really a dew rag.  My PJ's bottoms are normally too long and I just cut them off.  (Very sexy.  No wonder Taliban wanted me.) Robin then takes the six to eight inch pieces of fabric and wears them on her head.  (Also very sexy.)  But only when she's in a cleaning or organizing mood.  I know I'm in trouble when she's wearing one.   A friend called last night and told us how she makes her own ginger ale, kitty litter and laundry detergent.  Robin's made the ginger ale and kitty litter so far today.  The kitty litter involves shredded newspaper that you wet then dry.  That makes no sense to me, but whatever.   Robin is not known for her patience and asked me, NOT JOKINGLY, if she could dry the newspaper in the oven.

So now, being the losers that we are, we are watching the Casey Anthony trial highlights and waiting to see what happens when she's released.    Not sure if that will take the lead as highlight of the day over my rendezvous with Taliban. 

Robin just got yelled at by a friend because I haven't written on my blog in a week.

"It's not like she's working?  Why can't she write on her blog?  What the hell does she do all day?"

Good question.  I'll tell you what I'm not doing all day.  Answering my phone.

Truth is, I'm  in  a little funk.  Am very stressed out about not working and the stress has totally settled in my neck.  Thus, the above picture.

I have applied for probably 25 jobs, give or take.  Had one interview with a local vet.  Thought it went well.  Lady said she'd call either way.  Thought I'd bonded with her a little because we both left Upstate New York at age 18, moved to Florida, and wound up here.    Have not heard a peep from her, despite my three follow up phone calls.    When I tell them my name, I get, "Debra's in a meeting.  Can I take a message?"

Then I bit the bullet and applied at a local law office.  Wrote what I thought was a wonderful cover letter.  Nothing. 

I check my phone several times a day to make sure it's working.  Checked my resume to make sure my phone number is right.  Everything's in order.  I don't get it.

Decided to make the most of this time off by cooking only healthy stuff and working out every day.  That's coming along nicely.  Until I weighed today.  Down 1.5 pounds since Sunday.  Was hoping more like 15.  Bite me, scale.

My ex's mom died this week.  She was a part of my life for a long time.  Feel awful for the entire family, but take peace in knowing that she is now with her husband of some 50 plus years.   Made me realize how many of my friends have lost one or both of their parents.  Robin and I are very lucky to not have gone through that.

Then my gloomy doomy week turned on a dime.  I got mad.  I had to go pick up my last paycheck today.  Could not have cared less if the owner was there or not.  She was the a-hole here, not me.   Turns out, they were on their way to Wisconsin to pick up their foster children.  Yes, the witch has foster kids.  She's no nicer to them than she is the animals.   Makes me wonder why she even has these kids.  Not wondering too hard though - $$$$$?  The maternal grandparents had taken the little girls while my prior bosses went to Europe.    Learned that one of my former coworkers was attacked by the owners' dog.  Here in NC, when there's a dog bite, the dog has to be quarantined.  I know this from personal experience.  The owner BEGGED this girl to tell the authorities that she was bitten by her own dog.  Said it would be bad for business. So she did and now her dog is quarantined for 10 days.  What will happen if this girl's dog ever does bite someone in the future?  I'm assuming nothing good.  Unfreakenbelievable the nerve this woman has.  Shows her character.  Or lack thereof.

Got my check, drove to the bank and guess what?  She didn't fill it in correctly.   She wrote the numerical amount, but not where you write out the words.  Mistake?  Doubt it.  She doesn't make mistakes.  And it's not like I could go make and have her fill it in.  She's on her way to Wisconsin.  So, feeling like I was being set up, yet not really caring because I'm not forging her name, I wrote out the numbers and went to another Suntrust.  Cashed check and spent it all at the grocery store.

My week ended with a phone call from the unemployment office.  Appears I did not make enough money in the past whatever quarters and don't qualify.   That is just plain sad.

I know that in the scheme of things, I am just experiencing a hiccup in life.  One day this time will all make sense.  I know that in comparison to the Anthony family, Jaycee Dugard's family and the family of  Leiby Kletzky, my problems are nothing.

Robin just made the BEST light summer dinner!

Both recipes came from "Cooking Light" magazine.  They were fantastic and healthy.  We grew several of the veggies.

   FRESH~FRESH~FRESH!!!

THAI BEEF ROLLS:

Ingredients


1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lime juice 1 tablespoon dark sesame oil 1 tablespoon bottled ground fresh ginger (such as Spice World) 1 tablespoon bottled minced garlic 2 teaspoons fish sauce 3/4 teaspoon sugar 4 (8-inch) flour tortillas 2 cups torn Boston lettuce 12 ounces thinly sliced deli roast beef (She used cut up steak) 1/2 cup matchstick-cut carrots 1/4 cup chopped fresh mint

Preparation

Combine first 6 ingredients in a small bowl, stirring well with a whisk. Place tortillas on a work surface; brush lightly with 2 teaspoons juice mixture. Arrange 1/2 cup lettuce on each tortilla; top each with 3 ounces beef. Combine carrots and mint; arrange about 3 tablespoons carrot mixture over each serving. Drizzle each serving with about 1 tablespoon of remaining juice mixture; roll up.

CREAMY COLESLAW WITH BACON:

Combine 1/3 cup light mayo,  1/3 cup reduced fat sour cream, 1 TBS minced seeded jalapeno pepper, 1 TBS white wine vinegar, 2 TSP sugar, 1/2 TSP salt, and 3 cooked and crumbled bacon slices.  (If you have dogs, you must cook one extra piece of bacon per pup).  Add 1 (16 ounce) package coleslaw, tossing well to cover.  Cover and chill.

I've said this before, but this time I really mean it. I need new friends.

More about that later.

So we went to the Coon Dog Festival today.  It was a lot of fun, but we didn't really know anything about coon dogs or racoons or the connection between the two.  Until we got home.  More about that later.

We ran into our crazy friend, Tina, who was there with her husband and her crazy sister.  Tina is crazy, but she also has a heart of gold.  Her sister is just plain crazy.  We'd met once before, but are hardly friends.  She asked me for a cigarette, told her I don't smoke, and she then grabbed my hand and complimented my ring.  Said something about us getting married, then dropped my hand and she went off.  "I was dating a guy for a while.  We went on vacation together twice and were planning a third one.  We had sex on Thursday night, date night on Friday night when my son went to my mother's, had sex on Saturday morning.  Sunday, I can't remember.  Did we have sex or not?  Anyway, Monday he broke up with me via text and by Tuesday he was with someone else and rubbing my face in it.  But then my neighbor came over and said she knows a real nice man.  A man, not a guy.  He's  real nice man.  That's what I need.  A man.  We've been out four times and we haven't even kissed.  Well, he gave me a peck on the cheek once, but we're taking it slow.  Real slow."

Thankfully, the parade started and I pretended I couldn't hear her, so she stopped talking. 

After the parade, we walked around a little.  I got a tee shirt.  Robin got a bright green wallet made out of duct tape.  It's actually very cute.   There were many vendors and I think we noticed everything there was to see.  Typical festival food and stuff.  And funny looking people.

WARNING ~~~ THE FOLLOWING MAY OFFEND SOME PEOPLE.

We got home and I started downloading my pictures.  My phone rang and Robin told me who it was.  I will not say her name, but it was a dear friend from college who evidently had read on Facebook that we were going to the Coon Dog Festival.  I answered the phone and put her on speaker phone.  Introduced Robin, they exchanged "nice to meet you"'s and here is how the rest of the conversation went:

Her:  "Are you at the Coon Dog Festival?"

Me:  "Just got home."

Her:  "Did you see any coon dicks?"

Me:  "Coon dips?"

Her:  "Dicks."

Robin:  "I think she's saying d-i-c-k-s."

Me:  "Coon dicks?"

Her:  "Yeah.  Did you?"

Robin:  "What kind of friends do you have?"

Me:  "Are you drunk?  High, maybe?"

Her:  "Do you know anything about coon dogs or racoons?"

Me:  "I guess not."

Her:  "Coon dogs chase racoons.  Racoons have bones in their penis'."

Me:  "Do go on."

Robin:  (quietly to me ) "Do I know her?"

Her:  "They're good luck.  My friend had a friend who hunted racoons for the skin.  We collected the penis' and made ornaments out of them.  We made angels and santas.  We were gonna sell them for $5.00 each, but her husband, who's a CPA told us to charge $10.00 each.  We made over a hundred of them and sold them all for $10.00 each.  Made a killing."

Thanked her for the education and we hung up.

I certainly didn't believe her until I googled it.  Sure enough, they're good luck. 

Are YOU lucky enough to be on my Christmas list this year?

Still safe. For now.

A few weeks ago Robin called me at work.  Got the cold shoulder from the boss for the rest of the day because she insisted that nobody gets personal phonecalls for any reason.  Ever.  Gee, I miss her.

In Robin's mind, this was an emergency. 

Me:  "Hello?  Thisbetterbeimportant."

Robin:  "You are so screwed."

Me:  "What."

Robin:  "Joe's son is visiting and he brought them a laptop and he's showing them how to use it."

Me:  GULP.

So for the past couple weeks, I'd have Robin nonchalantly ask her mother, without trying to sound encouraging, if she used the laptop much.  In Iris' usual fashion, she was evasive. 

I think my question was answered today.

...RING...Actuallly it's more of a "Baaaaby, you're a fiiiiirework".

Robin:  "What do you want?"  That's her charming way of answering the phone to her mother.  And mine.

Iris:  "What is your computer address?"

Robin:  "My what?"

Iris:  "Your computer's address.  What is it?"

Robin:  "Uh, you know my address.  My computers lives at home with me."

Iris:  "Stop messing with me.  You know what I mean.  I need to have my insurance company send me something over the computer."

Robin:  "You mean my e-mail?"

Iris:  "Yes.  Tell me what it is."

Robin told her then Iris wanted to know if computer mail was faster or slower than mail mail.

Iris:  "OK, so tell me how this works.  You get the computer mail.  I have to sign something and get it back to them.  Do I sign it on your computer?"

Robin:  "Yes, Mom.  You come over here and I'll give you a pretty magic pen.  You sign your name on my computer screen and then we hit the magic button and off it'll go."

Iris:  "I'm on my way."

Guess I don't have to worry about her getting to this site anytime soon.

TEE HEE!

Should children witness childbirth? Good question.

Here's your answer.

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The
house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to
hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could See
while he helped deliver the baby...

Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed And pushed
and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his
bottom. Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the
wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed..

Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the
first place.....smack his ass again!'

Just my opinion.

I was a juror once and I found it to be very interesting.  The experience really taught me the true meaning of "beyond a reasonable doubt". 

Those words went through my mind throughout the Casey Anthony trial.  I couldn't help but wonder if the prosecution proved that she was guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.  Then, in closing arguments, Jeff Ashton painted a vivid picture of how Casey could have and would have killed her daughter.  The defense did a good job with what they had to work with, but I thought the prosecution excelled. 

Still, the words "reasonable doubt" resounded.  That is until Linda Drane Burdick said something that struck me.  It was her "greatest concern" that common sense would not prevail.  In my mind, the two words "common sense" took the lead ahead of "reasonable doubt".  Then I was convinced that Casey would have been found guilty of something.    Something other than lying to the police.  Common sense.  I think that the way Jeff Ashton described it is the way it happened.  Intentionally or not.  Common sense would surely get her convicted of some type of horrible crime, right?

Guess not.  

After O.J. Simpson, the Casey Anthony verdict really shouldn't be shocking news to anyone.  Common sense would tell you that, right?

Guess not.

On the bright side...

If I had a job, I'd miss all the Casey Anthony excitement.

Back to Square One.

I was fired on Friday.

I was super upset  (did NOT show it in front of the owner - would never give her the satisfaction), but I pretty much cried all Friday night.  Woke up sad on Saturday and by noon, I was completely over it.  Had a lightbulb moment. 

Here's the thing.  I LOVED the job and my co-workers.  I knew it was a temporary thing on my part, but I didn't realize just how temporary.  I loved the work, but detested the female owner.  Didn't like her since Day I.  She is a fake person and was not at all an animal lover.  Won't go into further detail.  And if she does happen to read this one day, I couldn't care less.  There were more than a couple things that I saw at this facility that I did not like and I had already started looking for another job. 

I worked there five weeks.  The first two weeks, she was never nice to me, but I hung in there knowing that they were going on a European vacation for three weeks.  The first day they were gone, I asked the lady in charge to teach me everything I needed to know so I'd be self sufficient by the time they returned.  I was doing an awesome job (if I do say so myself, other than the dog mix up, but the groomer was partly to blame there) and I knew it.  Robin stopped by a few times to say hello, and the gal in charge told her each time how well I was doing.

Owner returned home at around 4:30 on Friday.  By 4:45, she told me it wasn't working out.  Asked her if she cared to elaborate, and she advised me that, although she really likes me (right) and that I have a great personality (I'll give her that), I wasn't performing the way she'd hoped.

WHAT?

She hadn't even been there for the past three weeks.  That's why I was so upset.  I was perfectly comfortable and capable and I just couldn't believe it.   I will admit that, on occasion in the past, if you called me a slacker, I wouldn't disagree.  But not in this case.  There wasn't time to slack even if I wanted to.

So now it's back to the drawing board.  I have a good attitude and positive outlook.  There were two vet jobs on Craigslist recently, here in town.  That's a start.  Plus Robin has access to all types of job leads.

I am not a confrontational person, but I really had to bite my tongue with this girl.  This is a small town and if I want another animal job, chances are our paths will cross again.  Need to go back for my final check and have two weeks to figure out what I want to say to her. 

So there you have it.  I will miss the job, but it feels so good to not have that dreading feeling of having to deal with her tomorrow.    Being a big Karma believer, I know that something bigger and better is out there waiting for me.  And she will definitely get hers.  This sounds sour grapey, but she's pure evil.  To the people and the animals.