Joe (you know Joe ~ Iris and Joe?) has a son in town. Got here yesterday from Florida. It's not clear as to whether or not he's allowed to leave the state of Florida. Legal issues. Iris so did not want him to come and it's been a stressful few weeks for Iris and Joe. Every time I talk to Iris she tells me to get the guest room ready. For her, not the son.
The son wants to move here with his girlfriend even though neither of them has ever been here before. He keeps mentioning our basement to Iris and Joe and I am holding my breath waiting for him to ask to stay here. When the "HELL NO" resonates around the world, you'll know he asked.
He's two years older then Robin. Iris and Joe got married when Robin was around 14, so they all lived together for a few years. I had never met him. Robin described him as good looking, charming, and a con-artist. Even Joe says if he's talking, he's lying. We were in their neighborhood yesterday and Robin suggested we stop by and say hello. So I got to meet him and he's exactly what I had imagined. We stayed about five minutes and as we were getting in the car, he took Robin aside. He wanted her phone number.
At around 7:00 last night her phone rang. Having stayed with Iris and Joe for two weeks last summer while we were looking for a place to live, I knew it would be a matter of time before he would be calling to come over. Just didn't know it would be his first night in town. He asked to come over to talk about the area. Robin tried to avoid it by saying that she was going to bed early, but in typical con-artist fashion, he convinced her that he wouldn't stay long.
We straightened up and situated the dogs. By situated, I mean we put them all in separate rooms except for Buddy. If he was coming over to discuss the area and wasn't going to stay long, I figured the craziness that is our dogs would be better saved for another time.
Gave him the tour. I practically peed in the basement to mark my territory. Said things like "sanctuary" and "my space". Pretty confident I got my point across.
We came upstairs and instead of sitting on the couch or a chair in the living room, he immediately set up his computer on the dining table and got his girlfriend on speaker phone. (It's important to note (and good to know!!) that even though Joe's other son gave them a laptop, they don't have internet.) Together they went through every rental property in Western North Carolina. We tried to chime in with things like "too redneck" or "three hours away". They didn't appreciate our input. Did I mention it was "Big Brother" night? We couldn't have the TV loudly enough to even hear it. We normally wouldn't have it on with company, but we were being totally ignored, so what were we supposed to do?
Finally at 11:00, feeling used and taken advantage of, I'd had enough. Mentioned that I needed to let the dogs out, but again, I wasn't heard. Buddy spends most of his time on the couch these days, so he was mellow the whole time. But not the rest of them! Once I opened those doors, they all came barreling out. His girlfriend asked, "What is that noise?" He replied, "About 200 pounds worth of dogs!" I told him it was actually about 280 pounds worth of dogs.
He was gone within 10 minutes.
This was very effective, but it reminds me of when I was a kid and my parents had people over. At a certain point, my dad would say, "Kay? What do you say we go to bed so these nice people can go home?".
Also very effective.
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