Earth, Wind & Nirvana

While running errands earlier, I was looking for a good song on the radio. Earth, Wind and Fire's "September" came on. I like that song. Very happy. Upbeat.

As a regular sing alonger, I was 'baa dee ya'ing at the end and it dawned on me! That ending is very similar to the ending of "All Apologies" by Nirvana.

Think about it...

Baa dee yaa dee yaa dee yaa
All in all is we all are

Riiiiiiiight?

(I know, I know. Kurt Cobain is rolling over in his grave right now.)

Whole Foods? Whole Paycheck maybe

The other day we were in Whole Foods. I wanted to go for the sole purpose of buying cranberry juice - the kind without sugar and all that other stuff. Supposed to be great for you, full of anti-oxidants, blah blah blah. Whole Foods has an awesome salad bar, so I thought, "OK. Cranberry juice and a salad".

You have to walk by the produce and I noticed the gigantic potatoes. I love a big potato! (Not to defend Don Quayle (at all), but the word potato really does look like it should have an E at the end. Everytime I write it, I have to double check that it's right. Well not every time. On my grocery list, I just write "pot". One time I came home with a sauce pan and another time I came home with a bag of weed. Just kidding. Never came home with a sauce pan...thank you folks, I'll be here all week).

Cranberry juice, salad and two big potatoes.

Next thing I knew, Robin was gone and I was asking fish person for that nice piece of salmon in the middle. Not that one. Thaaat one.

Made my salad and picked up a loaf of asiago cheese bread. And a turkey wrap for the next day. And some "Joint Rescue Super Strength Chewable 500 mg Glucosamine" pills for the dogs.

Then I found some pineapple/coconut sauce that would be good on the fish. Then I found something else that would be good on the fish. Got them both.

OH! They have "POP" chips! Love them - especially the pepper ones.

Got a new water bottle. Now I can always have one on my person and one in the frig.

Where was Robin? Dunno.

Grabbed another bottle of cranberry juice. That would save me a trip later on. Wait. Why was one bottle $4.99 and one $8.99? Surely the $9 bottle was better. Got em.

Picked up a cute red dog collar for Brady. Fire hydrants and bones. Aww.

Oh no. Saw Robin in the pill isle. She was talking to the knowledgable full time grad student, part time Whole Foods employee.

"Look at this new stuff to help you quit smoking!"

"Uh huh".

In the cart it went. The sales girl was really good.

If Robin was gonna get a stop smoking pill, I wanted the latest and greatest in diet pills/fat burners/whatever. The girl showed me "Essential CLA - Pure Tonalin - CLA Complex - 1000 mg". Don't know what it is, but hey, I'll take it.

THEN the unthinkable happened. Not to go in to detail, but I have never considered a total body cleanse. I am quite (ahem) regular (not like you Alexandra) and drink an ocean of water every day. No need for me to be cleansed. But the girl had her claws in Robin and before I knew it, I was sucked in too.

Today is the first day of our "Organic Total Body Cleanse - complete 14 day Internal Cleanse. Gentle AND Effective (effective is good). All organic ingredients. For those with daily elimination (exactly what does that mean?)"

We bought two kits. Today was the day we planned on starting. Robin has already backed out. I have already messed up. Took Pill 2 when I was supposed to take Pill 1. Plus, you're supposed to take 2 Pill 1's and 30 minutes later, 3 Pill 2's. One 30 minutes before food, one with food. And don't forget the Pure Tonalin CLA Complex to be taken with every meal. Then there's the whole evening process.

Huh?

Every thing in Whole Foods is expensive. Except the wine at the check out. I don't even drink wine (much), but in a December spending frenzy, Robin decided we needed a wine cooler. As in small refrigerator, not like a Zima. So I felt good about the $4.99 bottle of wine we bought. At least we have something to put in the machine that takes up half my counter besides Diet Pepsi.

From now on, I think I should stick to Publix and their BOGO sales. How different, really, can the $2.99 Ocean Spray be from whatever it is I'm sipping on right now?

Phonecall du jour

(Caller's part must be read slowly and with accent).

Me: "Good Morning! Hellman Management."

Caller: "This is Shirley Weinberg. Unit 917. Someone vomited in the elevator. It's still there."

Me: "Thank you so much for letting us know. Have a good day."

Caller: "You're welcome. Goodbye."

Something very odd happened today.

I GOT TWO HOURS OF REALLY GOOD, FOCUSED, UNINTERRUPTED STUDYING IN!!

Robin had to go to a meeting at (deep scarey voice) "the building" and I decided to ride along. Figured we'd go to lunch and do some grocery shopping after. Besides, my flash cards hadn't arrived yet and in MY mind, what's the use of studying until they arrive? It's not like I plan on opening that awful book again. So I wrote a note to FedEx and asked them to leave my package. Just as we were leaving, they arrived. Cool! I guess.

On the way, she told me she head a coupla people to talk to. I told her to take her time, no problem. My phone was fully charged and I'd be just fine. Nice day out - not hot. Told her to take two hours if she needed to. (I so didn't mean that part.)

She got out of the car and I reached for my phone. Not there! I forgot it. OK, not the end of the world. I sat there watching the old people come and go. As truly fascinating as it is to watch 90 somethings shuffle along, I soon got bored. Three minutes had passed. I looked in her backseat to see if she had anything to read and there they were. The flashcards!

I began reading them and before I knew it, two hours had gone by, and I'd been through the cards twice. This was honestly the best scenario! No dogs, no computer, no phone, no music, no texting, no email, no blog, AND NO ROBIN. Just me and 126 little cards.

The way I figure, I am way ahead of schedule. Initially, I was supposed to go to my other job today. Wound up taking the day off to study. Two study days had turned in to three. Then we learned we couldn't take the test until Tuesday, so three days became four. I honestly hadn't planned on doing much studying today, let alone really good, focused, uninterrupted studying.

Plus I did the dreadmill ~ a little more running every day ~ and I tanned. Feeling productive.

YES!!!!!

We've been in this DAMN CAM class for what seems like an eternity. It's been two days, but still. I took tomorrow off from work to study. All along, Robin has been saying, "I want to take the test on Monday."

I want to take the test on Tuesday.

"Monday."

"How about Tuesday?"

"Kim. I want to take the test on Monday. You can take it whenever you want."

"Fine. I'll test the friggen test on Monday."

She has been on the phone for about an hour now trying to get the test scheduled. Finally got a live person.

They don't give the test on Mondays!!!!!!!!

AWESOME RECIPE!!!!

Recipe of the day:
SPINACH & ALMOND TOPPED CHICKEN

Serves: 6
Prep Time: 10 Minute(s)
Cook Time: 20 Minute(s)
2 Tbsp. Hellmann's® or Best Foods® Real Mayonnaise (or no fat mayo)
1 cup loosely packed baby spinach leaves, chopped
2 Tbsp. chopped almonds
1 Tbsp. grated Parmesan cheese
2 Tbsp. plain dry bread crumbs
6 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (about 1-1/2 lbs.)

Preheat oven to 425°.
In medium bowl, combine all ingredients except chicken. On baking sheet, arrange chicken, then evenly top with mayonnaise mixture.
Bake 20 minutes or until chicken is thoroughly cooked.

I practically doubled the recipe - used half regular mayo and half fat free mayo. Also added a layer of tomatoe between the chicken and the spinach - only because I had one and felt sorry for it.

It's that time of the month again.

I know it's coming. It arrives like clockwork. I dread it every month. It's been a monthly visitor in my life for as long as I can remember. Didn't like it way back when and I certainly don't like it now. It's annoying and frustrating. Sometimes I think the men just have it way too easy.

The dreaded random stray neck hair.

It's invisible, but I know it's there.

Just got home from CAM class. Was trying to pay attention to the fascinating difference between the right of recession of a condo and an HOA, when I felt it. Oh, I am way past the point of wondering if anyone else can see it. They can't ~ there is no doubt about that. This is one of those things that only I know. But now I know it's there and I'm like a dog with a bone. Just got home from class and I rushed to my 3x mirror, my best tweezers and strongest glasses. It's ever so fine. Sure, I'll get the occassional whisker-esque cousin of the invisible hair every once in a while, but at least they stay put. I can touch that one then pick up my mirror and go right to it. The invisible stray is tricky. It's a teaser. Stray hair of mystery, if you will. It's truly invisible.

Defeat. I just missed my moment of opportunity to catch the invisible hair. I have to catch it in the mid afternoon sun and now it's too late. I will be stroking this mo fo for the rest of the night. Yeah, I'll try it again and again, but really, I need the 3:00 sun. My neck is currently full of little red peck marks from where I aimlessly jabbed.

Gonna give it a rest for now, but I'll be back.

And just for the record...unlike the picture above, it is never on my chin and there's only one per month. And it's never long. Perhaps if I allowed it to get long, I wouldn't have so much difficulty.

Sweet Old People ~ Bless Their Hearts

Today and tomorrow we're retaking the CAM class. We haven't touch the book since the last time we took the class in December. Gonna spend another 18 hours learning officially what to tell the old people what to do when they lock themselves out of their units, when they lose one dollah in the dryah, and what happens when the old bat in 217's worthless son-in-law parks his unsightly vehicle in Mr. Leavy's parking space.

The people with whom we deal are just so lovely and sweet and we just want to provide them with the best service possible.

OY to the Yeah ~ the joy of learning.

And here's hoping Robin doesn't experience another wardrobe malfunction.

Justification for Procrastination

I've been at my computer since around 7:30 this morning. I've made a few Facebook comments, posted on the Weight Watchers board, spoke with my mother, but the main thing I've been doing is entering to win a free trip to New York City. Over and over and over. It's just for a weekend, but the whole package is worth $15,000.00. That's a lot of money to spend in one weekend, even for Robin.

Can't tell you where to enter because frankly I don't want the competition.

But really the main thing I'm doing is procrastinating. Robin said today's a holiday and I don't have to work, so it's not work that I'm avoiding (today, anyway).

It's the treadmill. I have been on such a roll with it lately (even running some), but today I just don't feel like doing it. (And Debra? You can tell that husband of yours - it's because of cramps. First day of the period bad bad menstrual CRAMPS. There.)

Wait a minute. I have been answering the phone. That means I've been working. Like just now, the security guy called to tell me that there's a lock out in 806. A what? A lock out. Someone locked themselves out. Duh.

So I just called Robin to tell her about the lock out in 806. Her response? "A what?"

"A lock out. Someone locked themself out."

"Well what the hell (I cleaned that up...Robin enjoys her F bombs) do you want me to do about it?"

"I don't know."

"Well me neither."

"OK. Bye."

I called the security guy back and suggested he give the old person the master key. He said, "No. The man called his son. His son has a spare key. He'll bring it to him".

Me, "Well wouldn't it be easier just to give him the spare key?"

Security guard, "No. You can't make it too easy for these people. They take advantage".

There - another 15 minutes that I'll never get back.

Hello Luvah!!!

I feel sorry for those of you who have never been to an "Anthony's Coal Fired Pizza". It is a chain, so maybe a location will be opening close to you soon. Here's hoping, for your sake.

Yeah, the pizza is great. Especially the Mahgarita Pizza. (Not sure if I spelled that right. And no, it's not like a margarita.) But the wings are to die for!!! I absolutely love them! They're prepared Italian style and are baked in the coal fire.
They're not breaded or fried. They don't come with a bunch of sauce. No blue cheese dressing. Why...they're practically good for you. Hard believe how delicious they are.

There's also this awesome fresh salad that I love. Lettuce, red onion egg, tomatoe, chick peas, argola and some kind Italian of house dressing. Doesn't sound special, but it truly is.

There is a slight problem...Robin hates the place. She hates the pizza and the wings. She asked for blue cheese dressing once and the waiter looked at her the same way the waitress just at me once when I asked for cheese on my burger at a Kosher restaurant. Big no no. (I knew that, but had to embarass Robin. Mission accomplished. One point for Team Kim).

All week long, the boys on my radio station have been talking about Anthony's latest addition - ribs. I am not a big fan of the ribs, but boy, Robin adores them. Sent her an email about Anthony's having ribs now. Got a response like, "Good, finally something edible", and we made a date to go tonight.

Little does she know that they prepare the ribs the same way they prepare the wings. No sauce. She's gonna flip! She asks for extra extra sauce on every single thing she orders.

Ha ha! Make that 2 points for Team Kim. (Unless she reads this before we go. Then the joke's on me, I guess).

I'm so busted.

Robin had a real estate hearing today - something about evicting someone. While working on the case last night, she ran in to a snafu and started calling her lawyer friends. Nobody could answer her questions, then she thought of my bosses husband, who specializes in real estate law. She asked for my cellphone to call my boss and spoke with her husband.

They spoke, then she set my phone down on her desk.

I went to bed and Robin stayed up and worked late.

Got up this morning and she totally gave me the cold shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

"Not a thing."

"Are you made at me?"

"Nope."

"What'd I do?"

"Not a thing".

I figured she was stressed about the hearing today or something. I'd give her time and talk to her later.

About 20 minutes in to my commute, she called me.

"Who is Ronel?"

"What?"

"Do you know a Ronel?"

"What are you saying?"

"Ronel? RONEL?? Who the hell is Ronel?"

"What???" Spell it."

"R O N E L".

"What are you talking about, Robin?"

"Late last night, at around 1:30, your phone went off. You got a text message with an "I LOVE YOU" card attached".

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." I hung up, checked my text, and sure enough, there was a text with an "I LOVE YOU" card attached from a local number. So I called it.

"Hi. Who am I speaking with? I got a text from you in the middle of the night?"

"Oh yeah. It's Ronel Johnson. Sheila Johnson's ex-husband."

Sheila Johnson is a very nice lady who filed for divorce from Ronel about a year ago. We had to take the papers to him in Liberty City, the worst part of Miami. He couldn't come to us - no transportation. Plus he was homeless, living in a church where he preaches. We got lost several times and I called him about 3 or 4 times for directions from my cell. Evidently, my number is still in his phone and he sent that text to me by mistake.

Even though she knew it was a mix up, Robin has still been giving me the cold shoulder. Like when you have a bad dream about someone and wake up, you're still mad.

I just looked at the text again. It doesn't say Ronel anywhere. Then I noticed she responded to his text, "Hey there!"

I called Robin and asked how she knew it was Ronel. She did a reverse number look up and got his name and called him at 1:30. Said if a woman had answered, she would have awakened me and killed me.

So instead of waking me up to kill me, she went to bed thinking I was having an affair with a 500 pound, homeless, preacher man. THAT would be OK, but had a woman answered, she would have killed me.

My one thin body part.

I've been a little self conscious lately because my upper lip seems to have disappeared. I haven't really said anything to anyone about it, and figured I was just being vain. Just read on AOL that womens' thinning lips can make them look much old than they actually are.

I just mentioned something about it to Robin. I said, "I'm concerned about my upper lip".

Her response, "What upper lip?"

Now she's walking about like Humphrey Bogart saying, "I'm concerned about my upper lip".

Same tree in the summer.

That's a cute name for a girl ~ Miami Winters!

Good thing it's been cold in Miami.

Some people are anal retentive (I could just use the term "anal", but I don't like it) about their cars' interiors. My stepdad never used to let us drink or eat anything in the car. He's eased up a bit though. We can now have bottled water.

Robin isn't like that. I sometimes take her car to work because it's more gas efficient than mine. I got in Talula (her car has a name) at 7:00 this morning, threw my purse in the seat along with my new "LOVE PINK" totebag, situated my water and phone, found my boys on the radio, and then something caught my eye.

On the floorboard of the passenger side was something that I couldn't quite make out at first. Upon a closer look, I figured it out. It was a clear plastic box with several pieces of SUSHI in it. I'm trying to think when it was that I saw her run out of the house with a container of Publix sushi in her hand. 3, maybe 4 days ago? Was it last week? Imagine how Talula would smell had it not been cold all week. Those little pieces of rice could have been maggots!

Anywho...sure was better than the ham sandwich I'd planned on having for lunch.

My Wish Board!!

My Psycho

Scarey, I know.

I just LOVE it when Robin mumbles and leaves out about every fourth word, and I get called a DEAF-ASS BITCH.

Mexican Sheppard Pie did NOT let me down!

Here's what you need:

1 lb lean ground beef
1 pack of taco seasoning
1 chopped onion
2 cups of mashed potatoes
1 jar of salsa
2 pounds reduced fat Mexican cheese
Scallions
1 can of diced tomatoes - I used the kind with jalapenos in it.

Cook the beef with the onion and taco mix.
In an 8 or 9 inch casserole dish, layer the ground beef, then potatoes, then salsa, scallions, cheese and tomatoes. Cook covered at 350 for 25 minutes, then uncovered for 5 minutes.

Makes 5 servings ~ 6 points each. That's with fat free cheese. I'd add 2 points for using RF cheese instead.

I loved it!!

Happy New Year!

Last year, I didn't make any New Year resolutions, but this year I did...1) hit the treadmill (a/k/a "The Beast") five times per week, 2) eat more vegetables, and 3) drink 96 ounces of water every day.

I made it through 01/01/10.

Yesterday I didn't feel well and just watched movies all day. We watched "27 Dresses" - cute, "The Hangover" - very funny, especially when Leslie Chow rolled up his window and said, "Tooda Luuuuuuu, Mothaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Efffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh" (I don't know why I find that so funny, but I just looked it up on youtube and laughed again. And he used the real F word), and "Julie and Julia".

I have nothing against Julia Child. I'm sure she was a lovely lady. I was confused in the beginning of the movie, though. I assumed she was French. She wasn't French. She was born in friggen Pasadena, so what is with that voice/accent? Seriously. It really began to annoy me. Then it went past the point of annoying and I couldn't wait for the movie to end.

Why, I don't know, but today I googled the movie. I guess I really wanted to see if Julia Child really hated Julie. But I read something that Julie had an extramarital affair during the year that she made all the recipes. They should have put that in the movie. Just my opinion. But who am I to second guess Nora Ephron?

Watching the movie did inspire me to spend more time writing and cooking. So I found what sounded like an incredible Lemon Chicken Soup recipe. It called for eggs in it and lemon juice. I thought it was gonna be so different. Afterall, it was a Greek recipe. Just made it and tasted it. How can I describe it? Hmm? Oh I know! It tasted exactly like regular chicken soup with eggs and lemon in it.

I sure hope my Mexican Sheppards Pie doesn't let me down.

It's so cold...

The pibbles are snuggling!

Sooo proud of myself!!!

I've written about the French backyard swinger neighbors before and their wild parties. Someone has been living in their house since right before Christmas. We figured the French people just rented it out. Bodi has a bad habit of jumping the fence. A couple of weeks ago, I couldn't get her back and had to go get her from their yard. I noticed that nobody was home and they had a little dog tethered to their deck outside with a big bowl of food and water. Since then, I have kept an eye on things and the people seem to come and go, but the dog always is tied up. I can't stand it, but figured many people keep their dogs outside. I can't save all the dogs, so I figured I'd just mind my own business and worry about my own heathens.

Then I decided that I couldn't let it go.

A law passed last April in Miami Dade County that it's illegal to keep dogs tied up outside. I called the authorities and was assured that an investigation would soon be under way. That was a few days ago. It's been chilly in Miami lately and last night it was predicted to dip into the 40's. I checked on the dog before I went to bed. There was a house full of people and this poor little dog was tied up alone outside.

I called Animal Control and they were closed. Robin called a cop friend and he said he'd check it out when we went to work at midnight. It was around 9 and I couldn't go to bed with that little dog freezing. (I know 40 isn't freezing, but still...)

So we decided we were gonna steal the dog. WTH? Those people didn't care about him. In my flannel nightgown, we got in the car and drove over there. As we approached their driveway, we saw that the dog had gotten loose and was running down the street. There was a pickup truck full of people leaving the house. We stopped them and asked if that was their dog. Only one person (barely) spoke English. He told me that it was their dog and they were trying to catch it. Bullshit! I think they purposely let the dog go and were leaving. Who packs up a truckload of people to chase a dog who has barely left the property? Not buying it.

Robin stayed in the car and I'm not sure what came over me, but I turned into Super Bitch on Wheels (in my flannel nightgown which is sky blue covered in clouds - very intimidating!). I found out that their sister cleans this house and the dog belongs to her. I told the guy that I don't care who it belongs to - that not only is it wrong to leave a dog tied up outside, but it's illegal and that I've notified the authorities. I told him that they are prepared to come and get the dog and there is a $1000.00 fine. I threw that part in for fun. He told me that he didn't know that and would keep the dog inside from now on.

I think these people are staying in this house unknown to the owners. For all I know, they could be in this country illegally too. I don't really care about that. I just care about this little dog and am gonna be watching these people like a hawk.

Robin always tells me I like dogs more than people. Duh.

As Iris (Robin's mom) would say - we did a mitzvah!!!