Things that make you go hhhmmmmm....

We have two water bowls for the pibbles. They're set together on a raised metal thing so that the little darlins don't have to strain their furry little necks all the way down to the floor to drink. I have accidently knocked this thing over and it's a mess. It takes three bath towels to clean up the water.

Today, ON HALLOWEEN, when I got up first thing in the morning, the bowls had been knocked over (they were literally upside down) and the floor was bone dry!!!

All the dogs are drinkers - they get that from me. But Bailey was the biggest drinker of them all. My theory is that Beat (her nickname cuz some ass, years ago, asked me if she was named after "Beatle Bailey") is playing a little Halloween trick on us. I cannot see Buddy, Baxter, or Bodi slurping up the water from the floor, but Bailey? I definitely can see her doing that!

I think Beat spooked us!!! That would be just like her. I can see her now smiling down upon us!

Purple wrist band

If you're like me, you're wondering, "Hmmp. I wonder what that purple wrist band stands for in the toilet paper picture?" You may have even enlarged it to find out. It is a wrist band from "The Animal Rescue Site". You can click on their webiste and feed stray animals with every click. They sell a lot of cool animal related products, too. Check it out: theanimalrescuesite.com

AT THE RISK OF SOUNDING LIKE MY MOTHER -

Things could always be worse.

Today I sat in on a deposition of a woman who was injured on the job. Mary, her real name, is from Guatemala. Her last name has 24 letters in it and three dashes. Mary easily weighs 300 pounds and claims to have fallen down the outside stairs at work due to a wind gust. That in itself raised a brow or two, but that's not the point.

Mary was born with a defective right hand. She cannot turn her wrist. She obviously has been left handed all of her life. In her fall, she severely injured her left shoulder and has no range of motion in it. Due to not being able to turn her right wrist and with no mobility in her left shoulder, when she goes to the bathroom, Mary cannot "clean herself down there".

Mary has to hold her #2's until her adult daughters are around to help her "clean herself down there". Mary can handle #1's because because she uses pads in her panties (seems wrong to refer to a 300 pound woman's drawers as panties, doesn't it?). The bad thing is that Mary suffers from constant irritation "down there" due to the conctant wetness in the pads.

There are two points to this story:

#1) Whenever you're feeling down, think of Mary. Things could always be worse. (#1 Kayism - Kay is my mother).
#2) Whenever you reach for the toilet paper, count your blessings (#2 Kayism). Grab it with a vengeance.

I was walking my smallest dog in my neighborhood recently when a Latin male stranger came up to me and said, “Ma’am, I do not weeeesh to alarm you, but there have been many peeeebles running around in the neighborhood and they have attacked many small dogs and cats. You must be careful”.

I said, “Really? Many what running around?”

He replied, “Peeeebles. Lotsa of Peeeebles. They are eating the small dogs and cats”.

“What are they?”, I asked, “What’s running around?” I was squinted at him, as if that allowed me to understand his accent.

“Peeeebles. Peeeebbles. Those dogs – Peeeebles”, he said kind of angrily.

“OK, thank you. Thank you. Have a nice evening.” I have no idea what he’s talking about. So when I got home, I called my mother and asked her if she ever heard of a new breed of dog called a “peeble”. She thought maybe it was something new like a labrodoodle. That sounded good. I’d have to google it.

Oh good – Robin’s home. I’ll ask her. “Hi Honey! How did it go? Have you heard of peebles?”.

“Peeples? Sure. Publix has them. They’re by the Boo-Berries and Lucky Charms”.

She doesn’t know. She makes stuff up. I’m gonna google it.

I forgot about the peebles due to being distracted by “Inside Edition”. It was Britney’s first public outing since she handed over custody of the boys to K-Fed. I didn’t think about the peebles again until the next morning when I was microwaving my Jimmy Dean Delite. I was daydreaming watching the yummy little sandwich go round and round, round and round. And it occurred to me! Oh yeah! The peebles! I left my Jimmy Dean unattended (it was safe, there were only two of us in the office at this hour). I asked Edna (the other person) whether or not she’d ever heard of a new breed of dog called a peeble. Edna would surely know. She’s had almost as many dogs as me.

“Hey Edna. Have you heard of the new breed of dog called a peeble? I guess it’s like a labrodoodle or something? A man told me there were some in my neighborhood, bit I’ve never heard of them, have you? Peebles. They sound cute, right?”

Edna sighed and looked at me over her glasses. “No, Kim”, she said barely audible.

Hmmp...must be in a bad mood.

OK, Soraya will be here soon. I’ll eat my Jimmy Dean and wait for her. Oh good, the door. “Hey Soraya, have you heard of peebles, the new dog?”

“Huh?”

“Peebles. Peebles. The new dog. A man told me they’re eating all the small dogs and cats in my neighborhood”.

“Oh yeah! I saw something about your neighborhood in the news last night. People were being warned to keep an eye on their small animals. There was a pack of dogs running around. They were PITBULLS, Idiot”.

Can you see the two shades of duct tape on the furniture.? Don't be afraid of color!

This is our recently purchased replacement furniture.

Damn pibbles.

Boo!

HAPPY SHALLOWEEN!!!!!!

Yentas

See what I mean? Notice the water bottle. That's what I use to discipline them - we go through A LOT of water.

4th of July with niece and nephew

My favorite part of this clip is learning that my mother has a favorite boogie board! Who knew?

When Bodi can't see out

All my dogs are yentas. They take turns sitting on the back of the couch looking out the window. Once I forgot to open the blinds before I went to work and this is what happened.

Bailey and the Damn Fish

Bailey hated that fish with a passion. She would chase it and catch it and bury it in the bushes over and over and over. I miss her every day, but am so happy that she had a pool for the last two years of her life. She swam every day!!

Best behaved dog in the house!

This is a leaf in the surf - it reminded me of a Picasso from both angles.

One big happy family

This was taken at my parents' house last Christmas - ahhh...The Holidays. We have our own rendition of "Happy Holidays". It's basically the same tune as the original, with a few explitives thrown in between the Happy and the Holidays...usually beginning with F.

Robin & Me on the "Sex and the City" tour

This was taken in March of 2008 in NYC (duh). I owed her big time for that tour. I am a huge fan of the show and was excited about every stop. She, on the other hand, said that the show was based on nothing but sex and shoes, and that no self respecting gay woman in her right mind would be a fan. I got my way, but at a price. Immediately following the tour, she made me spend an hour in the Apple store looking at every new gadget on the market.

This is Robin. Doesn't she look deep in thought? She must be thinking about how very lucky she is to have me.

And this is me now.

This is me before Weight Watchers.

This is Iris Mae. She was named after Robin's mother. My mother was a little pissed.

And this is Bodi. She has always dressed up as a bad dog. That's because she's such an angel in real life. Riiiiiiiiiiight. She's a crazy psycho dog that I'm sure is going to get me on the news one night...one of those people whose dog snaps and kills them.

OK, that's really not funny. I read "The Secret".

Universe? Can you hear me? I do not mean to attract this.

This is Baxter. He has wanted to be a pimp for Halloween ever since Buddy was one last year. (Notice Buddy in the background - he's a little disheveled). Baxter is an ori pei. An ori pei is a new breed that is a combo of a pug and a shar pei. They are suppsed to weight between 15 and 30 pounds.

Baxter weighs in a 60. My friends call him Timbaland.

I waste time videoing Baxter snoring, then watching it later. Not sure which is the bigger time waster - the videoing or the watching later. I've done this over and over. i don't know why.

I have no idea what I'm doing. I read one blog once. It was Quinn Cummings' blog after I saw "The Goodbye Girl" for the first time about 3 months ago. A friend told me that she had a blog. It was pretty good. Why I think I have stuff to say that people (strangers, no less) will want to read is beyond me.

This is Buddt at 2:48 and a half p.m.

This is Buddy at 2:48 p.m.