Monday, August 8, 2011

If you ever find yourself in need of a house guest, invite my mother.

Seriously, she's the best.

Not only does she bring towels for the entire family so I don't have extra laundry, but she brings food and drinks galore!  Cases of soda and water, snacks, bagels, cans of tuna and mayo, peanut butter and jelly.  She even brought steak for us to have one night!

We had hot dogs (she brought them) the first night they were here.  My niece doesn't eat hot dogs, so Robin made her a burger.  In the microwave.  It was disgusting!  Wouldn't even feed it to one of the heathens.  Next was my potato salad.  I'd never made it before.  I tend to get carried away, more is better mentality.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes it doesn't.  It was the worst potato salad I ever had.  Was discussing it with Iris this past weekend, and in her fake British accent she announced, "I  make mine with just potatoes, mayonnaise, and a little salt and pepper.  I must say, it is delicious.  Joe loves it."  Well, good for you, Ivis.

We got in the car Monday morning and didn't know where we were headed.  There's a gem mine nearby that my mom had mentioned.  Wound up going there.  I envisioned, well, mining gems.  No.  You buy buckets of dirt and dump it in little baskets and swish them around in the water.  It actually was quite fun!  We all got some cool looking things.  I got what I was sure was a gold nugget!  With gold the price it is right now, I thinking "CHA CHING"!!!!!  Proudly waddled up to show the guy.  Fool's gold.  Thought, "Yo mama's a fool."

Wound up in Pisgah National Forest.  Hiked a little to Slippery Rock.  On the way, my mother swore that she had just walked right by Casey Anthony.  Right, Mom.  "Really!!  It looked just like her!!"   Uh huh.  Slippery Rock is a big slippery rock that KIDS slide down.  Kids and, of course, Robin.  Robin climbed to the top of the rock to slide down it and I went to the bottom of the rock.  Videoed her sliding down with her very expensive, bought in a former life when we didn't bat an eye at spending money on frivolous things such as $300 sunglasses, sunglasses dangling from her shirt.  They made the entire slippery rock, but disappeared as she hit the water.  The end of the video is me screaming at her to find them.  She couldn't and gave up.  I was literally physically sick to my stomach.  I even teared up.  It wasn't so much that she'd lost them, but I do not see us in the near future being able to buy something like that.  It was like the end of an era.  I was truly sad.  Then we met a very nice teenager (not an oxymoron) who volunteered to dive for them if we could find someone with goggles.    We found goggles and he saved the day.

The next day we drove to Lake Lure and had a nice lunch out.  Stopped at a few places on the way home.  My mom bought us new curtains for the living room and dining room.  Came home and I redeemed my culinary skills by making a nice dinner.  While I was cooking, my brother hung the curtains and they all redecorated the place.  Rearranged furniture and pictures.  Looks so fresh in here now.  And my mom was very sly and snuck a lot of pink accents in all over the place.  Robin even loves the new look.

The last day they were here, we went to a flea market in South Carolina.  My mom hit the lottery!  She collects Mexican pottery called "talavera".  Well she found what every household needs...a talavera toilet ashtray!!!!  WOOOO  HOOO!  Way to go, MOM!!!

Robin saw an electric guitar that she wanted for $55.  I was super bitch and said no.

They left on Thursday because my brother had to work on Friday.  I'm always a wreck after they leave.  But, as I told a friend, they're just a road trip away.  Could be worse.

Now it's back to looking for a job, losing weight and working out.  What's the opposite of buyers' remorse?  Whatever it is, I have it.  Should have let Robin get that guitar because there's something I want for $50 - to join online Weight Watchers.  Just had a discussion about it.  She wants me to do it.  Something about "happy wife, happy wife".  And "Do it!!!  You need something to focus on while you're out of work to make you less meshuggina."  Meshuggina is Jewish for crazy.