It's official.

I'm an ass.

I've been writing quite a bit about Iris and Joe lately. A) Because they do provide a lot of material and 2) they will never read this stuff. There are many other people who I can make fun of, and if you're reading this, you're likely one of them. But I will refrain because, well, you're reading this.

Robin had to be at work at 2:00 today. Iris knew that. At exactly 2:01, no kidding, the phone rang. It was Iris.

CRAP.

I let it go to voicemail. What is it now? Robin had a piece of paper that Iris needed and for the past few days, Iris has called ME to make Robin take her the paper. Robin took a nap two days ago and her mom called for the paper. "Robin's sleeping, but I'll give her the message."

"Please have her call me when she wakes up, I need that paper."

Robin got up for 30 minutes. "Your mom needs that paper."

"I know. I'll take care of it." And off to bed she goes.

10 minutes later, the phone rang. Guess who? "She isn't up yet? I thought she'd be up by now."

"She got up, ate some soup and went back to bed. Sorry."

"Well didn't you tell her to call me?"

I felt like saying, "I did and she said she didn't have the energy to deal with you right now," but I didn't.

"She'll call you tomorrow."

"She better because I need that paper."

"I know you do".

So this went on all day the next day. Won't bore you with every conversation. Just read the above conversation three or four times. Robin did finally get her the paper.

So today when the phone rang at 2:01, my first thought was the paper. Wait - that was handled. OK, what else? OH NO. I bet she wants me to come over for dinner. How do I get out of this? Just had a heavy meal with Robin?? Yeah, that's good. What if she wants me to go to temple? Shit. I'm a bad daughter-in-law. I have no excuse, but I don't want to go.

Called my mom to run a few lies by her. "You can't lie, Kim."

Uh? Pretty sure I can. Thanks for nothing.

Then I got an email from Ingrid. "Sorry. Too bad we weren't closer.  I'd come over tonight and have a few drinks."

Yeah, me too. Still doesn't solve my problem.

Iris wants me to come have dinner, spend some time and go to temple. DAMN IT.

Finally called her back.

"Hello Sweetie Pie. What are you doing?"

"Getting ready to run a whole bunch of errands and then spend a long time on my treadmill."

"Oh. OK. Did you today's paper?"

Long story short (too late), there is an ad in today's paper for a position in a local doctor's office. Sounds great!

I never look at the paper and Iris doesn't have a computer. I searched and searched the internet when we were house hunting. Iris found this house in the paper. Here's hoping!!

And BTW, screw the law office...moving on to the medical office.