Dinner ALONE with the in-laws...

Robin's been out of town since Monday morning.  As Iris and Joe left here on Sunday, Iris said, "You'll come to dinner Tuesday."  Not, "Would you like to come to dinner on Tuesday?"  or "We'd like to have you over for dinner on Tuesday".   It was more of a demand than an invitation.

She called yesterday and told me to be there between 5:30 and 6:00.  Got there at 5:57.  As I pulled into their driveway, the first thing I noticed was that their windows were open.  It's very warm here, summerlike temperatures, and they had their windows open.  I knew it'd be warm in their house.  It always is.  But yesterday it was hot in their house.  They have a ceiling fan in the kitchen, which would have been a big help, however they have a gas stove and can't have the ceiling fan on when she's cooking.  Blows out the flame.

They came outside the second I pulled up and were very excited to show me the flowers Joe had recently planted.  We have a lot of iris' in our yard and I guess Iris was a little jealous.  So Joe went to Lowe's and bought a bunch of them and planted them for her.  A few were blooming for the first time and Joe went crazy.  "Ivis!!  Ivis!!  Look!!  It's blooming!!  Look at the colors!!  Purple and yellow!!  Two colors!!  It's beautiful!!"  I wouldn't have been surprised had they broken out into a little square dance.

Dinner was very good.  Salad, bread, beef stew (perfect for a hot summer-like day) and the biggest fresh strawberries I've ever seen.

Joe excused himself at 7:00 to go watch Diane Sawyer. Iris and I sat there and chatted. Talked about her diabetes. Her medication. My mother's medication. Whether or not there's really a difference between generic and non-generic.   The side effects of medication.  Then out of the clear blue sky, she asked me if I'd ever consider botox. I told her yes, but it's expensive. She said, "How expensive can it be?" I think she was totally hinting that I get botox injections. I told her that before that, I'd rather have a little collagen in my upper lip. She leaned in and took a closer look and nodded.

The conversation then shifted from a little  to very awkward.  Joe has a gay son whose much older partner recently died.  His son is moving to CA to move in with another man who's even older than the last one.  I asked if they're just friends or if they're already in a relationship.  They're already in a relationship.  Iris said, "I don't understand his attraction to older men.  This new one is older than Joe.  What kind of sex life will they have?"

We sat there in total silence for what seemed like a half an hour.  Iris stared at me, not blinking, as if she wanted me to answer that question.   I returned the nonblinking stare.  Each second was more uncomfortable than the last.  You could hear the clock on the wall ticking.  You could hear the iris' blooming.  Finally, the phone rang.  It was Robin.  She called to tell Iris that I needed to go home because my show was about to come on.  Little does Iris know that we tivo everything. 

I thanked them for dinner, gave them a little hug and kiss, and was on my way.  I immediately called Robin and thanked her for the phonecall.