They came over last Thursday at 10:00 a.m. and left at 9:00 p.m. They were here yesterday for three hours while Robin was at work.
Last Thursday, we put down some cement stepping stone things in the back yard and removed some mulch. Robin and I thought things were fine before. There's a carport with pavement, then a little area of mulch before you get to the gate. Nothing wrong with mulch. Joe had some extra stepping stones and got it in his mind that we NEEDED them in that area. For the past month, every time we've seen them, we've been told to come and get the stones. "Yeah, yeah. We will." We didn't give a you know what about those stones. Joe gets something in his mind and becomes obsessed. So we finally drove over there and got the damn stones and brought them home. They followed us home. Guess Joe didn't vant the stones in his Jag.
Robin and I assisted Joe while Iris sat and supervised. Let the real fun begin. She kept saying that the stones weren't even, that there was too much mulch, that we needed to remove more mulch, why is there so much mulch, we don't need all that mulch, the mulch is very dirty, and so on. For every comment she made, Joe had a come back. "Ivis. I know vhat I'm doing. Just sit down. Go inside. You vant to do this?" And so on.
That wasn't too bad. And I happen to actually like the stones.
We came inside and I made sandwiches. Joe didn't vant one.
"Joe. You have to eat something."
"Ivis. I just ate."
"You did not, Joe. What did you eat?"
"I had some bread and cheese."
"Fine. I'm not gonna say another word."
(riiiiiiiiiiiight)
Joe then started on lighting fixture Number I. A couple weeks ago, the light in the hallway fell to the ground. Robin thinks the bulb got too hot and it exploded. Noooo. It wasn't tightly secured to the ceiling. Joe had a spare fixture in his garage and said we could have it. Not my first choice, but beggars can't be choosers. They brought it over and decided it would look better in the living room than the hallway. Whatever. This meant removing what was in the living room. We watched as Joe climbed up the ladder in his SANDALS. At that point, I had no idea that he would remain in that position for the next nine hours or so. He has bad shoulders and stood on that ladder with his arms above his head all day long. Finally got the one fixture down and then it was time to install the new one.
Meanwhile Iris began to shout orders again. It was quieter when she was eating. Robin and I helped Joe as much as we could, but it was pretty much a one man show.
A couple hours later, Robin made some dip and brought it out with chips. Joe went apeshit when he saw Iris eating.
"You eating again? How you eat so much? You gonna explode you eat so much."
"Kiss my ass, Joe."
"You kiss mine. I vash it yesterday."
I was holding my breath, waiting for the big F U's.
"You don't have to be so mean."
"Oh just go eat."
"I'm not going to say another word."
(riiiiiiiiiiight)
He finally got Fixture Number I hung and it was crooked. Two more hours on the ladder and two more hours of Iris telling him it wasn't right.
By this time, it was getting dark. Robin insisted they stay for dinner (WHAT!) and made a tuna casserole. Joe started on putting the fixture from the living room in the hallway, but it was too dark. They'd have to come back.
I am not myself these days. Well, actually I kinda am and I don't like it. My hair is it's natural color, I don't have fake nails and worst of all ... I am pale. Yesterday I had planned on doing the treadmill, cleaning the house, and sitting in the sun from 12:00 - 2:00. Not much I can do about the hair or nails right now, but sunshine is free. I always feel better about myself when I have a little color. Or a lot. Besides, it was Sunday, and other than Craigslist, I really didn't have to feel guilty about sitting in the sun when I should be looking for a job.
I was at my computer, getting ready to do the treadmill. It was about 10:00. I could do the treadmill for 30-60 minutes, depending on how I felt. That would give me at least an hour to do some house work and be in the sun at noon. Gorgeous day. Warm, not hot. (50's at night...80's during the day - hafta always get the weather announced for my Florida haters) I could start on that new book. Reading always inspires to write. I can actually consider this kind of like working. Nothing to feel guilty about.
Then Iris called. She asked if they could come over so Joe could hang the other fixture.
"Sure! That'd be great!"
What was I supposed to say? Seriously. I need some guidance here. When we lived in Florida and they came home for the winter, we saw them maybe four times during their six month stay.
So they came back yesterday. Did I mention I was home alone? Iris came with turkey and bread and the minute she got here began to make sandwiches.
"Joe you want a sandwich?"
Oh no - please don't push the issue.
"NO. I came here to hang this. Not to eat."
Please don't push it - please don't push it - please don't push it.
"Joe. You have to eat."
"IVIS. I JUST ATE."
"OK, Joe. You want something to drink?"
She is sooooo asking for it.
"No."
So Joe climbed up the ladder, muttered some stuff and said he had to go to the basement. He came back up and told me, "Kimi. You have to put a rug or something between by the door in the basement that goes in to the rage. You're wasting energy".
Oh, I almost forgot. After I did the treadmill, took a shower and swirled around the house, I remembered I have some Xanax. I rarely take them because they knock me out. I forgot how sleepy they make me.
"OK, Joe. I'll put a rug there." Yawn.
I swear, he made proabaly six trips to the basement and each time he resurfaced, he told me to put a rug by the door to save energy.
"OK, Joe".
He didn't get the fixture hung because whatever he needed, he needed it longer. (Iris didn't disagree on that one.)
Have I mentioned how the dogs lock me out? The back door has a handle, not a knob and they manage to lock it. I have mentioned it to Joe about a half a dozen times. Each time, he acts like we're discussing it for the first time. That's were Iris' harshness comes in handy.
As they were about to leave yesterday (and I was falling asleep), they said they'd be back some time this week to finish the fixture and replace the door knob. They left and I passed out. Woke up at about 5:00 and felt like a zombie. I don't get pill poppers. Other than the extra calories, why not just drink?
Robin goes in at 4:00 today. We went to bed discussing what we should do in the morning. I woke up to her on the phone.
"Iris and Joe are coming over to do the light and the door."
Time for me to go get that rug to put it by the basement door.
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