Would ya look at this tree???

Yeah, well. It's not mine. (However, if you look closely, you can see that it's a "Frasier Fir". Wink wink. Not going there.)

Anywho...every year I look forward to my tree. I love it! But at this very second, I am wondering why. It's truly a pain in the ass to get it up and keep it up. (For some reason I am seeing a Viagra commercial in my mind - like a cartoon bubble over my shoulder.) We got the tree on Saturday and I am just now getting around to decorating it. I thought this year was gonna be different. We got it up with little trouble and it was perfect. We had dinner plans Saturday night and we were at the Miami Herald Hunt all day yesterday. The tree withstood dog stares and sniffs and I'm quite sure that friggen Maxx lifted his scrawny little leg on it. But the tree has stood tall.

I have to go to Ivette's (job)tomorrow, so I wanted the tree done tonight. Wanted to do it without bugging Robin, so I attempted to get the bins out of the garage (which, BTW, looks as awful as ever, even though we cleaned it out less then two months ago). A bunch of stuff tipped over, some of which was a box of tools. Made a horrific noise, that Robin had to have heard. I expected her to coming running, "Oh my God! Kim! Are you OK?"

Crickets.

Then on the first attempt of putting the lights on it, the damn thing tipped over. In trying to save the day, I bent back (ouch!) and broke a nail. It's red so I'm gonna drill a tiny little hole in it, put it on a gold ribbon, and give it to my mother as a Christmas present/ornament. May make this a tradition. How cute would that be?

After I screamed, "ROOOBBBIINN", she finally came to my side. We got the tree steady and then she announced (with hand on hip as she judgmentally looked around the room) that she has a "very important" client coming over tomorrow and doesn't want the house to look tacky. WTH?? Felt like saying, "You have the nerve to insinuate that I'm tacky at Christmas when you have little evil monster ass things all over the place all year round?" But I merely responded with an F bomb something or other and carried on.

The tree tipped over tree more times, but (fingers crossed), it's standing at the moment. Lights are on and I may or may not finish the rest of it tonight. Wouldn't want to appear tacky in front of her criminal client tomorrow.

Ahhhhhh. The holidays.