Reality Check

Yesterday we were running errands and Robin announced that she needed (needed - HA!) a new color printer. She asked me if I wanted to go to Target and I stuck out my hand and introduced myself. Then while I was tanning, it dawned on me. There are new Chinese make you skinny overnight herbs that I want, but the Chinese store is a little out of the way. It is, however, on the way to Walmart.

So after I got in the car and she told me I smelled like a coconut (says it every single time), I told her that printers are probably cheaper at Walmart. Long story short, I managed to get my herbs.

I've written this before...we always split up in Walmart. Now that I think of it, we normally don't split up in stores, but in certain stores, we always do...Walmart and Whole Foods are two of them.


While Robin was entertaining the electronics people, I shopped for necessities. Got a new hair clip (one guess as to what happened to my old one, and yes, it's dog related), Chlorox, new slippers (again) and stuff like that.

I kept bumping in to the same old crazy looking lady. She had on bright red lipstick and wore black and white zebra leggings, a Tweety bird sweat shirt, big glasses, a NY Yankee baseball cap and flip flops. (BTW, her feet were filthy).


I crossed paths with this lady a few times and wound up behind her in line. I like looking in other peoples' cart. Don't worry. I look from afar. It's not like I physically go rummaging through their carts (usually). It's like shopping eavesdropping.

Backing up a sec, Robin has told me many many times that I must have died of thirst in a former life.

I looked in Crazy's cart and could not help but notice that it was loaded in dog food and beverages.

Then I looked in my own cart. In addition to my hair clip, slippers and Cholorox, there were six one liter bottles of sparkling flavored water, a 12 pack of Diet Dr. Pepper, two two litter bottles of Diet Sunkist, a gallon of milk, a quart of Fat Free Land o' Lakes cream, and a bottle of tomatoe juice (Robin decided she wants to start drinking Bloody Mary's every day at 5:00). There was also a thing of Crystal Light Lemonade and a thing of Walmart Generic Lemonade. The generic was two bucks and I'm gonna do a taste comparison.

Also in my cart were a 40 pound bag of dog food and a case of canned wet dog food. Additionally,there were 8 packages of Cesar something because God forbid Maxx eat what the other dogs eat. Oh yeah. And a big bag of Snausages.

The similarity in our carts' contents was uncanny. Here I was judging her based on her appearence and clearly we had similar vices - liquid hoarding and a bunch of dogs.

Then I looked down at her feet and thought, "No way. She's a nut job. We're nothing alike.

I had to ask. "How many dogs do you have?"

"Four".

GULP. I have five.

PS: It's now 4:03 and Robin wants me to finish this so I can go make her a Bloody Mary.