I like big dogs and I cannot lie

It's been exactly five months since I've written here. No excuses. Hanging my head in shame. Other than writing one of my favorite stories about my parents thinking I'd killed Robin and was scouring the bathroom with bleach to hide the evidence, I think I last wrote about our Honey Boo Boo pool. The pool was a great joy for me this past summer, but now it is nothing more than a semi folded mass of plastic blob, covered by tarps in the back yard. I've had the pleasure of seeing Baxter pee on it. Hoping to get another summer out of her. Our current focus is on the front yard, duh, because of Christmas. I love me a big annoying obnoxious blow up holiday decoration. Had a huge crazy eyed pumpkin for Halloween. Googled and googled for something for Christmas. Didn't see anything that blew (pun intended) me away. Had given up on the big blow up thing. Have a pink Christmas pig that lights up and last weekend we bought a cousin for it...a pink flamingo that lights up. "That's fine," I told myself, "We'll just do a little pink themed Christmas this year." Went to set it up yesterday morning. We used to have five regular everyday pink flamingos until somebody stole two of them this past summer. I accused my friend, Camille, but she denied it. Then I was convinced that Iris had done it. They left for FL last week and I demanded that she give them back. No go. Thought that was a little odd, but figured we'll ransack her house when we go over there to make sure gypsys aren't living in their house. I planned to coordinate my remaining three pick flamingos with the Christmas pig and Christmas flamingo. Also have a pink tree that my mom gave us last summer. I'd make it work. Opened the garage door, dragged all the crap out and was about to begin decorating. It was cold (sweatpants and sweatshirt for me - Robin, on the other hand, was prepared for the frozen tundra) and I can tell you from experience...it is MUCH better to decorate for Christmas when it's chilly/cold than doing it in the high 80's. We have a little white picket fence in front. Put garland and lights on that. Very nice. I love decorating for Christmas! Was thinking about my shopping. Quite happy with some of the gifts I'd gotten thus far. Was thinking about the turkey dinner Robin and I were gonna make later. Not too much. Just a small turkey, some Stove Top, green bean casser....... WHERE THE HELLLLL ARE MY PINK FLAMINGOS????????? I could NOT believe it. They were gone. And I now know it's not Iris because they're (Iris and Joe) gone. That really upset me. To the point where I wanted to call 911? Lil' bit. Did I? NO. But it did take the wind out of my sail and my Christmas pig and Christmas flamingo just looked stupid. Told Robin to get in the car and off we went. That's it. We would come home with something to go with the other two. BTW? Somebody has some bad karma headed their way. Stealing flamingos from somebody's yard? I thought we left Miami.) Our one and only stop was Walgreen's right around the corner. I'm sure everyone who walks by here can't stand it if my dogs see them. The dogs go crazy barking and it's really loud. I would NOT want to walk my dog by here. As I type, they're at it. And it's not just the dogs who can see outside. All it takes is one barking dog to get them all barking. So when we simutaneously saw the NINE FEET TALL obnoxious dog, we knew it must be ours. The Santa? He was just a 'oh why not?' purchase.