Saturday, January 5, 2013

Maybe it's time to make fun of my own family instead of Robin's...

My mom and Nelson got a new car recently and are still trying to figure out all the bells and whistles. And Bluetooth. (As a little sidebar: whenever I'm on the phone with my mom and she has an appointment, say at 11:30 tomorrow, she will ineveitably tell me something like, "I have a dental appointment at 11:30 tomorrow and will be leaving the house at 11:10. It's only one and tree quarters miles from the house by way the crow flies, but it's takes about nine minutes to actually drive there. The appointment should take about a half an hour. That is if she's not behind schedule. You never know. I'll be going to Publix after that. They have BOGO Hellmann's this week. Oh, I forgot you don't have Publix up there in North Carolina. Anyway, if you need to reach me between 11:10 and say 2:00 or 2:15, call me on my cell.") Called them a little while ago. No answer. WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO? Oh wait. I know. I'll call the cell. "Hello?" "Hi. Where are you?" "Hello?" "HI! WHERE ARE YOU?" "Hello?" Click. A few minutes later, she calls yelling, "Hi - can you hear me?" "Yes - stop yelling!" "Hello?" "I can hear you!!!!" "Hello?" Click. A few minutes later... "HELLO!!!!" "Hi. We're still trying to figure out the Blu...." Click. A few minutes later... "Hello?" "Hi. Can you hear me?" "Yes." "OK. Good. We're trying to figure out how to work the Bluetooth." "REALLY!!!!!" "Yes. We're at Publix waiting for Nelson to use the bathroom. Second time today. All that water he drinks." "That's nice." Silence. "Hello?" "Hello. Can you hear me? Are you there?" "Unfortunately, I am." "OK. Well I'll let you go." "OK. I love. Oh - by the way - I will call you a little later than usual tomorrow. Want to try to sleep in." "We sleep in til 6:30 nowadays." "That's good. OK. Bye. I love." "Bye. I love." Then I hear... "How do you turn this thing off?" "Press the button." "I am pressing the button. What button?" "That one over there." "This one?" I couldn't resist, so very loudly I yelled, "JUST PRESS THE DAMN BUTTON ALREADY!!" "OH MY GOD ~ YOU'RE STILL HERE???" "I am. Good thing you didn't say anything bad about me." "We're still trying to figure out how..." Click.

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