First AA Meeting

Yesterday I got my hair/roots done (thank GOD - I looked like total white trash - like someone you'd see on "COPS") and then Robin and I ran some errands. We got home around 4:00 and she got busy with a client. Let me rephrase that - she had to interview a client. One of the members of the Weight Watchers board that I post on told me to quit messing around and just go to an AA meeting. While Robin was working, I discovered that there are AA meetings at the end of my street. It started at 6:00, but doors opened at 5:00. It was 4:30. Something came over me.

I interrupted Robin and told her about the meeting. We had always agreed that she'd go to the first one with me. She told me to give her just a minute and we'd go. This meeting was closed and she couldn't go. We were both a little diappointed and my heart was racing, but I felt I had to go. No time to think about it.

So I drove (even though I coulda/shoulda) walked to the meeting. No, I had to drive because I staked out who was walking through the doors. I literally sat in my car for an hour, staring at the door, biting my nails (Note to self: schedule nail appointment). The meeting was in an office was next door to a dry cleaners. Every time a "decent" looking person pulled up, I thought, "Please let them go in that door". All the "good ones" were there to pick up dry cleaning. At 5:10, there were three rapper looking guys standing outside the door. That's it. The doors opened and they went in. OK, so there are three rapper like guys going to AA. Good for them! I kept looking at my watch. 5:15, 5:25, 5:40. Nobody else entered the doors. I'd give it until 10 til. Still nobody went in the doors. I was in the back of the building, so maybe people were entering from the front. I doubted it because there wasn't any parking out front.

I was about to go home. Me and three rapper types? I don't think so. Then I thought, "What the hell? Who cares?"

And I went inside the building. The rapper guys weren't even in the AA room. The room was decorated for Christmas and I felt like a total ass because I was crashing their Christmas party! I really wanted to shout, "Where's the Booze?", but (yes Robin) even I knew that would be crossing the line.

I stayed for the meeting and I even took the microphone and talked about myself a little. Everyone was super welcoming and nice.

It's not the fit I'm looking for, but I am proud of myself for going. I will definitely go back again, especially since it's at the time of my favorite drinking time - 6:00.

I still want to find a group with whom I have more of a connection, but this was the biggest step to get me there.