I haven't felt well since yesterday.

And I think I have narrowed down the some of the reasons as to why.

We picked Iris and Joe up from the airport yesterday. That's not why I don't feel well. I don't mind having them home. I actually like it. I didn't realize that I like having them nearby until my mother said something like, "Do you miss Iris and Joe?" "Um. NO?" "Why not? What if something happens? Wouldn't it be nice if they were there?" Guess that depends on what "something" is.

The reason I don't feel well may be because we got caught in the rain Saturday night. It also may be because of the conversions that took place at the airport, at lunch, the ride home, and the short amount of time we spent at their house after.

Like good daughters, we parked the car and went inside to wait for them at the gate. I'm sure if it was my parents, Robin would be like, "Let's slow down just enough for them to hop in". Iris was very funny and ran to Robin and they hugged each other like they hadn't seen each other in years. Not five days. Then Joe came along. They have taken us to a cafeteria restaurant near the airport called J and S. Robin and I actually like it a lot. He came through the gate saying, "J and S. J and S. J and S". I thought he was saying, "Janice. Janice. Janice". Janice is my ex, so I asked Joe, "What about her? What about Janice?"

"J and S. Ve take to you there for lunch. J and S."

Ohhhhh. J and S. My bad.

Other than Iris saying how good the shrimpSSS were, lunch conversation wasn't too bad. Probably cuz we were eating.

I know the area now. Joe knows I know. He compliments my driving and my good sense of direction. Robin can't even find her way to their house. The only place she goes on her own is to get cigarettes. Although he knows I know where I'm going, he cannot help himself. It's not so much the, "Turn vight up here". It's the slowly raised boney ass finger that goes with the verbal direction. I can't stand it. One of these days, I'm gonna bite that finger off.

Joe asked about my parents. He always does. So does Iris. "How's Kay and Nelson? Vhat they up to?"

"They're good. They had friends over last night and had a clam bake".

Iris then chimed in from the backseat and said something about the oysters in New Orleans, and how Gary (Robin's brother) used to love them. Iris and Robin were chatting amongst themselves and Joe leaned in close to me and said, "Oysters make you horny".

I'm thinking twice about biting on his finger now.

Robin has had a really bad back lately, but she says Advil makes her sick and she refuses to take anything else. On the way to drop them off, she was complaining about it and Iris said, "Come inside. I'll give you some Anacin (Anacin? Really?) and a heating pad".

Crap. We have to go in.

I stopped the car and they all hopped out and walked toward the front door while the son in law (that would be me these days ~ they're old and Robin has a bad back) got their luggage out. As I schlepped the heavy bag, I saw Robin show her mother where her back hurts. She put her hands on her LOW back and said, "Right here. Near the lungs".

Now I know better than anyone how much Robin smokes and what condition her lungs must be in. But still, in her low back? Do lungs turn black and relocate?

In the house we go and Joe asked, "Ivis? Did anyone call?" "How would I know, Joe? Check the machine". So before Robin could get her Anacin and heating pad, we had to listen to the messages. Funny. They were all sent "Sunday. 12 o'clock a.m.". One was a wrong number from Janie. And the other was from an Iris declared yenta.

Iris brought Robin the Anacin and a glass of water. "The water's too cold". Robin hates cold water. Joe said, "Here - you vant me to heat it up for you?" He looked at me and vinked. He vas kidding.

On to the heating pad. Iris had to read outloud the entire set of directions. Robin asked what disgusting body parts of theirs it had been on. Iris said that a while back Joe had suffered from schmekeitis and he had to keep it on his schmeke every day. If you don't know what a schmeke is, girls don't have them.

Just reliving everything makes me want an Anacin.