Nothing like a nice hard slap of reality...

Robin and I returned home from our "get away" yesterday.  For her, it was three and a half days of  classroom crappola and for me, it was time spent laying out, working out, playing  "Words with Friends", and watching a lot of BRAVO TV.

We haven't been anywhere overnight in about a year basically because we (more like I) didn't want to leave the dogs.  They really are a handful, all joking aside.  Maxx must be separated from Bodi and Baxter at all times, so there is a lot of juggling.  It's not an ideal situation, but since I'm not willing to part with Bodi, we do whatever it takes.  In addition to the "when this dog is here, this dog goes there" rules,  Bodi cannot merely be let out like the others.  She's a fence jumper and has to be on a leash or tied up to a thingy we have in the yard.  Keeping the dogs separated is Rule Number One, and keeping Bodi on a leash is a close Rule Number Two.  It's just a lot.  We had an awesome sitter in Miami and were really spoiled.

Long story short, we befriended a nice family about six months ago.  One of the daughters, a mature 23 year old, watched our dogs this week and did an amazing job.  Robin and I have said that she is more mature than Robin and me combined.   When we got home, the house was a lot cleaner than we'd expected and everything was great, despite the fact that our water was turned off while we were gone.  Thank God when we were threatened by tornadoes a few weeks ago, I stock piled  the H2O.  There was plenty of drinking and flushing water.  By the time we got home, it was too late to get it turned back on.  Robin was concerned as to how she was expected to wash her "special area" and since it was raining, I suggested she take off her clothes and go hang upside down on the fence. 

So we get home and all is good.  Exhausted Robin went to bed early.  Plus she had a headache from hanging upside down on the fence.  It went from raining to pouring cats and dogs.  Thunderstorms, in fact.   I opened the kitchen door that leads to the back yard for some fresh air.  Didn't worry about Bodi taking off beacause it was raining so hard.  I've done this dozens of times before and she just hangs out on the porch.  Well last night, she hauled ass out the door and ran around the yard like a wild horse.  I watched her for about 30 seconds, just knowing that she'd come dashing back into the house.  I was in my nightgown.  All of a sudden, she jumped the fence into the neighbor's yard.  I ran to the fence and she was evidently eating some cat food that they feed their outdoor cats.  Kept calling her name, thinking she's come home once done.  Did I mention it was pouring?  Then she took off to the other side of their house and was out of sight.  I didn't panic just yet.  Ran inside for my robe and a lantern.  Why we like lanterns over flashlights, I'm not sure.  Guess it's from camping.  Grabbed her leash and ran for the other side of the neighbor's house.  Saw her, called her and she ran toward me.  Then flew right by me.  Ran through our front yard and down the hill and across the street.  Panic was now setting in.  This is a busy street and cars go waaaay too fast.  Running after her, I'm screaming, "BOOOOOOOOOODI" at the top of my lungs louder than  a doped up Elene Benes mimicking Stanley Kowalski's, "STEEEELLLLLAAAAAA".  Doing this on a busy street in a fluffy pink bathrobe in a thunderstorm holding a lantern.  I wish I could have seen me.

Not knowing where she was, I ran home and got in Robin's car.  I drove around and around, looking for her, for what seemed like an eternity.  Windows down, raining pouring in, I'm screaming her name over and over.  Kept driving by our  house, thinking she'd be on the front porch.  Not a chance.  By now I am hysterical.  I just knew that I'd never see my girl again.  Why had I left that door open?  I know dogs are unpredictable.  This was all my fault.  I was bawling, it was pouring, I couldn't see a damn thing.  I finally went home to think about what to do next. 

Guess who was at the backdoor waiting for me.

...THEN... 

Today, just as I was getting out of the shower, Robin screams, "KIM!!!!!".  I knew Maxx was in his room, so I wasn't worried about a dog fight.  Come to find out, we had the windows open and Bodi poked at the screen and it fell to the ground.  She jumped out the window and took off again.  Quickly put on my still wet from last night robe and ran out the door.  This time she went to the other neighbor's house.  Robin was on one side of the house and I was on the other.  As long as she didn't head for the street, we were fine.  We did finally catch her and Robin said how exhausting it was.  Little did she know what I'd experienced last night while she slept. 

I had felt a little guilty about going away with Robin because I needed a break.  A break from what?   

Now I know.

Damn dogs.

Love My Laughing Cow Cheese Recipes!!!

I made this last night and it was great!  Robin can't wait for lunch!  I tweeked the recipe because she likes things very saucey.  I used maybe 32 oz. of sauce and five LLC wedges (garlic and herb, not French onion).  Also when the chicken was almost all cooked, I threw in an entire bag of fresh spinach.  I do that a lot.   Adds a lot of nutrients and you barely know it's there.  Other than that, I pretty much followed the recipe.  Very easy and good.  It'd be nice to serve it with a good salad. 

SPAGHETTI CHICKEN (and spinach) PIE

Ingredients

◦16 ounce box of whole wheat spaghetti noodles

◦1 pound boneless skinless chicken breast, cut in bite-sized pieces

◦24 ounce jar spaghetti sauce

◦2 wedges of The Laughing Cow Light French Onion Cheese

◦8 ounces mozzarella cheese, shredded

◦2 ounces parmesan cheese, shredded

◦parmesan cheese for topping

Directions

1.Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

2.In large skillet, cook chicken until done. Meanwhile, while chicken is cooking, prepare spaghetti as directed on package. Drain excess water.

3.Add spaghetti sauce to cooked chicken and season to taste. Mix The Laughing Cow Cheese Wedges into the meat and sauce mixture and mix well. Add cooked pasta and shredded cheeses and combine.

4.Spray 13×9 baking dish with cooking spray and pour in the spaghetti mixture. Top with additional parmesan cheese and bake for 15 minutes.

5.Let cool for a couple minutes, serve and enjoy!

I am one step closer to going to hell.

So Robin and Iris were just having their nightly conversation that is just slightly less fascinating than my own mother's and my morning conversations. 

Their chats  go something like this:   "How was your day?  How was the weather?  How's Kim?  How are the babies?  What's for dinner?  What's on TV tonight?"

The last question is where tonight's conversation got interesting.  Interesting for this group, anyway.  I guess Barbara Walters is having a show about new age cosmetic surgery.  I was playing on my Kindle Fire, not really paying atttention,  and all of a sudden, Robin, while still on the phone, asked me, "Do you think my mother needs a facelift?"

Me:  Without hesitation.  "Absolutely not."  And she doesn't.  I'm not trying to CMA in case she ever gets a computer and reads this stuff, but she honestly looks a good 25 years younger than she is.

 

Then Iris started listing procedures she's considered and told them to Robin. 

Robin:  "What about a boob job?"

Me:  "Nope."

Robin:  "Butt lift."

Me:  Slight consideration. "No.  No way.  Your mom has a nice ass."

Robin:  "Vaginal rejuvenation?"

Me:  NO hesitation.  "Absolutely."

I normally don't have any trouble falling asleep.

And I chalk it up to my good clean living.  (HA!)  But last night I couldn't fall asleep.  I tried singing songs in my head, counting sheep, etc.  But I just couldn't shut my brain down.  It's like channel surfing in there at a rate of 100 miles per hour.  Got up, took a hot shower to relax.  Nothing.  I was tired, but just couldn't fall asleep.  So annoying.

So I decided to try some of the meditation tools I've picked up from Robin.  I laid (lied? not sure, so going with laid) there completely still.  I felt the comfort of the bed, the warmth of the covers and the cool breeze blowing across my face.  (We leave the windows cracked, even when it's freezing.)  I was beginning to relax.  Breathed in.  Breathed out.  Aware of every breath.  I felt myself giving in.  Then I started flexing and constricting everything I could, starting from the bottom to the top.  Cracked bones, flexed muscles, stretched what I could.  Felt the tension leaving my body. Made it up to my shoulders, then my neck, then my jaw.  Everything was relaxed and I felt myself drifting off. 

But then it all stopped.  I was to the top of my head and there was nothing to crack or stretch and flex.  Quite the opposite.  I felt like I had a two inch cement helmet on.  Nothing could be released. It was definitely holding me down and keeping me awake.  Get off!  Then I felt pain.  Damn you tension, exit.  Exit at once.

Instinctively,  I put my hand on my head.

My hairclip was too tight.  Took it out,  placed it on the bedstand and fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.      

I know, I know...

If you're a FB friend, or worse yet, someone who I actually speak with, you're likely sick of my obsession with this picture.  But there are some of you who haven't heard this yet.  Plus, this blog is not gonna be all about the picture.

This is my Buddy who we had to put down two weeks ago tomorrow.  This was taken just a couple days before he died.  He's on two beds because we'd just gotten him the green one so I could wash the blue one.  He liked them both.  Ever since he died, there had been a thought that kept going through my mind.  I am not in the habit of seeking spiritual advice from Anna Nicole Smith, however when her son died, I remember her fearing that he was "stuck" between earth and heaven.  She searched for signs that he made it to heaven.  This is how I felt about Buddy.  I didn't feel that way about Spanky (cocker spaniel) or Bailey (chocolate lab).  But there was just something so special about Buddy - like he made it halfway there, but because we were so sad, he stopped.  I have been longing for signs that he made it to heaven to be with Bailey and Spanky.  He came after Spanky died, so I especially wanted to be sure he was with Bailey.  This picture is my screen saver and I glanced at it last night during the Superbowl and it jumped out at me.  If you look at his torso, you can see what exactly a lab's head looks like.  From the top of her head to the snout.  You can even see the right ear.  It freaks me out in a beautiful sign from God way.  Now I really do believe in the Rainbow Bridge!

Nuff about that.  I am still unemployed.  I applied for a really great sounding job with the Dept. of Social Services toward the end of December.  Was chosen to take a test.  Those who scored highest went further in the process.  Took the test that was about 90% math.  I like math and have always been good at it.  (Was convinced I was a mathematical wizard in college.  Then I hit the wall.)  Taking the test, I was thinking how hard it was.  It was really tough!  Thought that if Robin had to take it, she'd run out the door crying.  But I finished it, double checked everything and felt confident that I'd done well.  So well, that I thought I'd aced it.  Told Robin that I didn't mean to brag, but I was sure I'd gotten a 100%.  Would be notified by letter on whether or not I'd passed.  80% was passing.  This was gonna be great!  It was during the holidays and I'd have a brand new wonderful job waiting for me after the beginning of the new year!  2012 was gonna be my year!  Out with the old, in with the new!!!.

Two days later, I got the letter from DSS.    I got a 73%.  After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I called the lady.  I asked if there is any way that there could have been a mistake, because I was positive that I had nailed it.  She was nice enough to pull my file and went over the test with me.  I missed the first three questions, all having to do with types of benefits people receive.  These were non-math related questions and the answers were like "food stamps", "Medicaid", etc.  I answered yes or no.  Each question was worth nine points.  But I got all the hard math answers correct.  Bottom line - I can do math, I just can't read.  Have to wait three months before I can test again.

We're - scratch that - I'm doing Meatless Mondays again.  It's one resolution that I have kept.  Gives me an excuse to eat fried cheese for lunch.

Got ambitious last night and wrote out a TO DO list for today.  In big letters across the top, it says "MONDAY 02.06.12".    Today, feeling less focused, I added above today's date "WEEK OF".  Gives me some wiggle room.

I am totally addicted to "Words with Friends".  It's pretty much what I do.  There's one (maybe two) people who I haven't beaten and that's because they cheat.  You know who you are. 

Robin's good.  Pulled her annual beginning of the year gotta have an injury crap.  Two years ago, a broken hand, last year a broken leg.  This year, emergency two teeth removed.  We just enjoyed a fun percocet filled weekend. 

That pretty much catches me up since I last blogged.  Would love to write more often, but when one plays WWF 10 hours a day, what's there to write about?  Maybe I'll start making stuff up.  How sad.  

Oh!  Look for me on "ELLEN".  Sent her the picture of Buddy with a what I considered cute email and it's just a matter of time before she calls me.  God, I hope she doesn't send that girl, Jeannie or Jenny or Dina, or whatever her name is, here.  She makes me nervous to watch.   

PS:  If for whatever reason, blindness or closed mindedness, you cannot see the lab in Buddy, click on the picture to make it bigger.  Let me know what you think.

Back to WWF.

Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill...

Yesterday was a bright sunny, albeit chilly, day.  We decided to bundle up and go on a few geocaching hunts.  The hunts in the mountains of North Cackalacki are way more challenging than those we did in FL.  In FL, most of the hiding spots were in public areas.   (Not all.  Some were in pubic areas.  Well just one.)   A tree in the Home Depot parking lot.  Attached to a stop sign.  A bench in a park.  Never did we risk our lives looking for a treasure.

Not here.  We wound up in the higher elevations.  The road wasn't paved.  I believe we may have  been close to inbred land.  I could have sworn I saw Sally Struthers talking to a family on their front porch.  But did this stop us?  Hell no.  We kept asking each other if we should turn around and each time decided that we'd come too far to stop now.  We kept driving up and around Chimney Rock.  At one point, four beautiful white dogs were sunning themselves in the middle of the road and acted very inconvenienced when I gently hit the horn rather than run them over.  Then they chased us for about a half a mile.  Same thing on the way down the mountain.  I wanted to bring them all home with me. 

Once we reached what appeared to be our destination, we parked as close to the side of the cliff without going over it.  On the other side of the road was a mountain side.  We were in the middle of nowhere, but it was beautiful.  The leaves have fallen off the trees and the view was awesome.  Robin held the GPS and like a mental patient, started walking around in circles trying to hit the coordinates.  She'd get one and then scratch her head.  She looked at the mountain side and we both agreed that she wouldn't be expected to climb that.  I told her to go a few feet and see if the numbers change.  Well she did and the numbers did change.  In her defense, she did go up the mountain and it was steep.  But today, she is acting like she climbed Mt. Everest.  She is sore and just lying around, saying, "I should never have climbed that mountain." 

Climbed that mountain.  She went up six feet. 

I will admit, I did not go up the six feet to find the treasure.  I had something else to do.  I had to, well, pee.  There was nobody anywhere for miles around and I could have very safely just gone near the car, but it would be just my luck to have someone drive by as I did the deed.  So while she ascended six feet up, I went in the opposite direction and descended down the cliff.  I must have gone down the cliff two or three miles, each step being on  bear alert.  There are a lot of bear sightings up here.  I quickly got it over with and began my climb back up the steepness that was the cliff.  I barely made it out alive.  There was a pack of wild boar to my right and a mountain lion to my left.  I got to the top and just in the nick of time hoisted myself over the cliff.  It was a VERY close call.

And she thinks she "climbed a mountain."  I love the way she embellishes everything.

You dared me, America! Well ~ my friend, Marian, dared me.

As my Facebook peeps know, we had an electrician here yesterday.  Half of our power wasn't working.  He came, was very nice, but we couldn't help but notice his "assets".  I went for the camera and Robin gave me the evil eye.  Afterall, he was nice. 

Turns out he's kinda a handy man.  Had him look at our above the stove microwave.   It was dead.  He assured me that I could go to Lowe's or Home Depot and get a new one for $79.00.  He was going to be in the area today and would be happy to swing by and install it.  I asked him if he trimmed dogs' nails.  Unfortunately, he's not all that.

Called my mom.  For Christmas, I had asked for a gift card to Lowe's or Home Depot for you don't want to know what.  OK - I wanted a bidet.  Had them in our two houses in Miami.  Once you go bidet, you don't go back. 

I had mentioned it to Robin about two weeks ago.  "Hey, since neither of us really need anything or anything for the house, let's ask my mom for a Lowe's gift card for a duvet."

"Why would you get  a duvet at Lowe's?  They don't sell them there."

"Yes they do.  Remember I checked them out before?  Lied and said it was for my aging mother who ain't what she used to be?  Remember?"

"You mean a bidet."

"Whatever.  You know what I meant."

So anywho, Santa Mom put money in our account today.  She basically accused me of wanting microwaved food over clean "parts".  No, I want the eyesore that is Iris and Joe's 30 year old microwave that we've been borrowing since they left outta my kitchen.  (Joe's selling point on insisting we take it, "Look.  You put food on the plate and it turns.  How do you say...it votates.")  More counter space trumps clean private parts.  (And FYI, they're clean.  Clean enough.  They'll do.)

Woke up this morning and the power was off again.  Called him to advise him of same and to try to get an ETA.  Said he'd be here after noon.

Ran my errands, one of which was going to Lowe's.  Went straight to the appliance department and asked where the $79.00 microwaves were.  The man looked at me as if I had two heads.  "Uh, our cheap ones are about $179.00."

Crap.  (Speaking of duvets.)

Went to the back wall and found my exact microwave.  $199.00 marked down to $75.00!  The hardward for hanging it was missing.  No worries - we have that.

My goal was to make it home by 12:00.  Pulled in at 12:00 on the dot and the electrician was right behind me.  Fixed the lights (again) and hung the microwave.  He was here for maybe ten minutes.

Yesterday, on a Sunday, he was here for over an hour.  Charged $75.00 and Robin tipped him $25.00.  Too much in my opinion, but I figured he'd give us a break today.   So it was much to my chagrin, while he was finishing up, I asked him how much the write the check for. 

"$100.00!!!!" 

ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!!!  He was bragging yesterday about how quickly he'd be able to switch out the microwave.  And he should have been back here anyway because he hadn't fixed the original power problem.

Wrote the check and snapped the picture.

Called Robin, proudly told her about the picture and she accused me of being a 12 year old.  Then I told her what today's visit came to.

"Post the damn picture."