Secret ingredient?

I have a huge pot of homemade sketti sauce on the stove now. Between crying when cutting the onions and sneezing when drowning the sauce in pepper, you don't want to know my secrets.

Here we go. Again.

I FINALLY have a commitment (somewhat of a commitment, I should say) from some dear dear dear friends to come visit me after the holidays. The timing is finally right. One of them had kids to raise, and recently the other friend took care of her elderly grandparents. I also want Amanda Jean Bradt Harvey Frasier Skotarczak to come.

Just got an email from one of them. "Does this mean I have to start another effing diet?"

One step ahead of her. If they come Feb/March, that's gives me a GOOD three months...

Yada yada yada.....

UGH.

Woke up half dead today and it's no wonder. Almost everyone I know who I have been around has been sick on and off for the two weeks. Brady was so worried about me after I got up from a two hour nap, he charged me from another room and jumped into my lap. Then he settled in on my lap and kept me warm. Then he kept adjusting himself and his little crazy bony elbows japped me over and over. At any given time, I usually have 10 -12 bruises all over myself from these dogs. They got in a fight the other day which I broke up. I was bitten and didn't even feel it. But it drew blood and I have a bite and a dark black and blue bruise that's about two inches in diameter.

Now I'm gonna go watch The Godfather marathon. Have never seen it but always wanted to.

Before the dog park....

Robin did not want to go. Said something about rather having ice picks stuck in her eyes. Faked a stomach ache. Finally I told her she didn't have to go. "Oh, I'm going".

We finally got there...

Brady was all excited and so was I!. After arguing about her damn cell phone and cigarettes, I convinced Robin that she really could live without both of them for an hour and she left them in the car. Called my friends who lived right around the corner and told them that we were there. They'd be there in ten minutes. We're walking toward the gate and I'm sizing up the other dogs. "Brady is so much better looking", I thought. Thought? No, I knew. There's a girl with a volunteer shirt on and she approaches us. Surely she's gonna compliment Brady about his beauty (boys can be beautiful).

"Can I see his rabies tag?"

Uh oh. Shit. Sue warned me about this and I totally forgot. Have been to plenty a dog park in my day and never had to provide proof of anything.

"You'll have to go to the lady at the table". The lady at the table was very nice and everything, but when it came to letting us in, no can do. Brady and I were devastated. (Too strong. Disappointed. Very disappointed.) Robin was walking quickly toward the car because, afterall, she had been without nicotine for three and a half minutes.

Got in the car and called my friends. They had a spare rabies tag from a kitty gone to heaven and would save the day.

So they show up and we put the tag on Brady. We made it by the people whom we had just told that we live all the way in Miami and it was too far to go home and get his tag. Had they asked, the answer would have been, "Whaddya know! His other collar was in my glove box! Ta ta". But we didn't have to lie. Well, we deceived the system, but...

We get in there and Brady instantly jumps for a ball in a shallow pool. Ouch! Found the deep pools. He jumped prettily in again but this time he couldn't figure how to get himself out. We had to coach him and a man came up to me and told me how quickly his dog got in and out of the pool. Was he insinuating that his dog was smarter than mine? Oh no he dint int!! Then he patronizingly suggested that Brady hang around his dog to learn a thing or two. Just as the mother in me was about to go off, my friend came up to me and said, "Bill! Kim! I see you two have met." The jack ass was my friend's neighbor.

We spent the next hour and a half praising Brady everytime he jumped in and got out. I took pictures. Robin was having fun. Then I noticed a professional photographer who had taken an interest in Brady. She took tons of pictures of him. I was so proud. That's my beautiful boy! Patty Ramsey, mother of Jon Benette, temporarily possessed me and I went up to the photographer and asked if she thought my Brady could have a career in modeling. She basically dismissed me and went on to another dog.

A fight broke out between two dogs. Then a man and a dog. Then a man and a man. We missed it, but the park was abuzz.

After a stop at the concession stand for a "Frosty Paw", we left. Our friends took their dogs home and then met us at a dog friendly restaurant. It was very windy outside. As soon as the food was delivered a little plastic cup full of hot sauce blew straight at me and drenched my chest and left leg. White shorts. Then, my super huge soda blew over and covered my right side. And Brady. But the best part was when the waitress was clearing the table. Half of the discarded food, (salsa, sour cream, guacamole, lettuce - we were at an Irish Pub. Just kidding. Mexican. But you probably knew that) blew in to my purse. I heard the waitress apologizing, but I was engaged in another conversation, so I wasn't really paying attention. When I realized there was food in my purse was right after we got in the car and I reached for my cell phone and came up with a handful of Taco Hell. Robin was like, "Yeah. The waitress did it". Well thank you for getting it out of there. Or at least telling me. Have you ever heard of a napkin?


Then we stopped by the condominium that we manage - 197 units full of old -- let's just say "people". I stayed in the car while Robin ran in to pick up some paperwork. And pee. (Clarification - she didn't pick up pee. She peed.) As she exits the building I see two old "people" call her over. Evidently, there had been a couple of "reDDD CATipillahs by the back dorah. They haDD blacKK striiipes." They needed Robin to do something about them. Wow. Maybe she really had needed her cellphone while in the dog park. Good thing we got there when we did. Red caterpillars by the back door? With a black stripe? I shiver to think what could have been.

Got home and Brady crashed. He's wide awake now and demanding his dinner. They all are. The time change has been hell on them. Who eats dinner at 4:50? Well. Besides the old "people" in our condo? And Robin just fed them. I can stop typing now.

Happy Harve Everyone!!!

I don't like the time between Halloween and the weekend after Thanksgiving. I love my Halloween decorations and love love my Christmas decorations. The month of November is kinda blah as far as decorating. We went to Target today - the fourth time in the last five days - and got some 'tween stuff to hold me over. Got a bamboo pumpkin that looks more fall like than Halloween like and some matching lights for the porch. Very cute.

Also go these little blocks. By the time we put up the lights on the porch, Frick and Frack (Bodi and Brady, in case you can't keep up) had eaten the "S" and the "T".

So, Happy Harve! (pronounced Har-Vay)

BTW - in case you were wondering - Frick and Frack were two Swiss skaters who came to the U.S. in 1937 and joined the original Ice Follies show as comedy ice skaters. "Frick" was Werner Groebli (April 21, 1915 - April 14, 2008), born in Basel. "Frack" was Hansruedi (Hans Rudolf) Mauch, (May 4, 1919 - June 4, 1979), also born in Basel. Frick and Frack were known for skating in Alpine Lederhosen and performing eccentric tricks on ice, including the "cantilever spread-eagle," created by Groebli, and Mauch's "rubber legs," twisting and bending his legs while skating in a spread eagle position. Only a few skaters have successfully performed the duo's routines since.

Once again...

It seems like we ran errands all weekend. I'm not complaining though. I love to run errands. There's nothing quite as satisfying as having a big "to do" list and crossing the tasks off as they're completed. Well, there's lotsa stuff that's as satisfying and even moreso, but it does feel good to accomplish a long list.

Amongst the garage sales, nail appointments and tanning sessions, we went to Target both Saturday and Sunday. Made a special trip on Sunday for a new mop. I got up this morning and the new mop was destroyed. Swept it up quickly before Robin got up (or else I would have taken a picture - so sorry if you're disappointed). I know it was Bodi, but am gonna have to blame Brady. Sorry Brady, you're gonna have to take one for the team. It'll work out perfectly because I left a little bit of the evidence on the floor and Brady is now chewing on it. If I play my cards right, there will be no lying. Robin will just assume it was Brady who chewed up her new mop. Oh the deceit.

The good news is, guess who'll be going to Target for the third day in a row??!!